“You Want A Taste Of My Brain? Ok. It’s Yours Anyway.”

I leave you guys alone and this is what you start? Well let me hop in right here.

Reblog your:

“I’m sane, and I simp for _”

I’ll start

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

     ₊๋ chapter two-࣭🎀

I woke up, feeling drowsy yet… purified. The mattress pressed against my back reminded me that I was in my room, and not falling. How I felt before I woke up and returned to reality.

I pressed fingers to my temple, trying to regain my sense of touch as I tried to repeat the words he said. I parted my lips and softly uttered them to the air, as if I was a doctor telling someone the side effects of their medicine.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear my mind, forget all my hate…” I trailed off, rubbing my forehead. 

What did he say next? I thought, trying to reach into the depths of my brain. I had forgotten the rest, yet I only remembered one more sentence he had said.

“Several weeks ahead, you’ll be fine again.”

And that was all the promise I needed to convince myself to continue taking them. Yet even that, I wasn’t sure was 100% what I wanted.

I aroused myself from my groggy state, walking as best as I could to my desk. I only had one thought on my mind, that I needed to hide the pills. I swiped them up into my hands and began searching my room, looking for an ample spot to hide them in. After all, I was lucky enough that my parents hadn’t checked in on me during my… nap, if you could call me that.

I hid them under a pile of clothes in my closet, my hazy vision barely letting me do even that. I still felt tired, so I left my closet, leaving the door open which is quite not like me. I was only able to make it half way before I laid down on my floor, my eyelids slowly descending until I was trapped in a veil of darkness. 

My eyes slowly blinked open, and I found myself in my room, but something felt… off. I pinched the skin on my right arm, and ended up feeling no pain. A dream… I thought, removing my fingers from my arm as I looked up, noticing that my desk in the corner was covered in medicine. 

Each pill was different colors, promising something different. Tiny paper cards promised different results, whether it was to cure my anxiety, ease my longing for companionship, or even help increase my self esteem so I wouldn’t have such degrading thoughts about myself anymore.

I started walking to my desk, a small part nagging at me. Telling me not to go near them, because drugs would only make my life much, much worse.

Yet like I had said, it was a small part of me and ended up getting overpowered by my sheer willpower as I started to down the pills like I starved child at a banquet. My mind felt blank, only focusing on the task at hand as one pill slid down my throat, then another, then another, then another…

My skin felt cold and at this point I wasn’t sure if it was due to how dead inside I felt, or my bodies natural heating. All of a sudden the door to my room was busted open, and two people covered in white clothing holding a stretcher came over. I was placed on it but I continued to guild down the pills in my mouths and hands as my body felt light and numb.

I was soon taken outside and dumped into an ambulance, being sped away from my home. This dream was so vivid, I was questioning if this was a dream at all. After all, my body was so numb I probably couldn’t tell if this was real just from sensations alone. 

As I laid on the bed inside, my brain felt numb but on cloud nine, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Along with that, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about self-medicating. Thoughts that I never have had before.

Soon though, the vehicle came to a stop and the doors were opened as I was hauled out. I was shaking slightly, as if I was a shivering cat while I was pulled through the double doors and into a hospital. I was labeled as “emergency care” by the staff before I was gently placed on a cot, and they hurried away after. 

I could only laugh at the fact. Emergency care? Why? I was just fine! I laid there, still shaking as I heard machines beeping in the background. I was still clutching a pile of multi-colored pills as my head was placed against the pillow and I felt unaware even of my own body. But as my body was trembling, a pill slipped from my hands and fell off the cot, landing on the floor without a sound. 

No! I thought, my heart racing as a burst of energy was sent to my left arm so I could reach out and grab it. But even though my brain commanded my arm to go forward, it didn’t, and it ended up staying in place. No no no! Frantic thoughts pounded against my skull as I stared at the pill capsule on the floor with wide eyes. Not my blood! Not my lifeline! I desperately tried to break out of whatever was restraining me in place, but to no avail did I move.

All of a sudden I sat up suddenly, sweating and panting. I did a double take of my surroundings and realized I was back in my room, awake. I clutched my head in my hands, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Yet it didn’t work, nothing did. 

So I went to my only relief, the pills. 

I stood up and walked with a sway back into my closet and dug up my pills from there hiding spot. I dropped a few in my mouth then swallowed. I felt my anxiety be eased, and I pushed the lid back down sealing the container then I left the closet again - this time closing the door behind me. 

I laid in bed and felt that magical feeling take me again and I fell into a deep sleep that would make you suspicious if I had told you I had just sprung away afraid to die earlier. And that’s how my days basically went, taking pills to ease the pain. Yet that was just day one, and it got ALOT worse after that…

Introducing a new series on my channel!

I’m going to post a new series where my friends and I write a story together! To be safe I’m going to hide there names under usernames, and I’d like to ask others not to post in the tags so others can find the stories easy. Thank you guys for all the follows, likes, and reblogs so far, I can’t wait to see how far this series goes! (Clearly to the point where I’m painfully trying to hold the story together with my black pen.)

Writers:

Sampo

March 7th

Minori Hanasato

Mizook Cookie (me)

(Ps: If you need a translation to read the story let me know!)

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

                                            ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 chapter three⋅ ☆

I woke up with a groan before I clutched my head. I reached for one of the staples in my morning routine - the tiny red pills that the suspicious trustworthy old man gave me. The sun shined through the window, painting my room in a golden light as I swallowed basically what was oval atoms.

When I placed it back on the table next to my bed, I frowned as I stared at the displeasing observation. More air was in the bottle than there were pills, and the voices in my head were back. I had never had voices in my head before I took the pills, but maybe I was going through a rough time in life and those sort of… developed.

I sat up with a groan, plopping another pill onto my tongue before it traveled to the base of my tongue and slid smoothly down my throat. I stood up with a stretch as the voices in my head got muddled into the background, signaling that the pills were working. 

I placed one foot in front of the other, descending down the carpeted stairs. Not to have breakfast, but to request a refill. After all, I mostly skipped breakfast every day, so I was used to the feeling of starving, so it’s not like it would hurt anyone. Plus my… medicine was more important than food, so I ended up marching out the front door I had just unlocked, before shortly closing it behind me.

The cold air hit my face, but I didn’t care. What I did care about was my blood. My lifeline. 

So as I left my porch and walked down my driveway, knowing my parents would freak out, but I didn’t care. Sure I had no sort of clue about who the man was, but I could faintly hear the voices in my head telling me where to go. Whether it was relevant to the destination I wanted to go through, that was a different story. Though I ended up actually listening to them and following them, which was ironic. Here I had been trying to block the voices out, but now I was trying so hard to listen to them that I was barely aware of anything else around me. But soon after I got my refill though, I’d be fine, and I wouldn’t have to listen to those voices ever again since I’d know where the old man was. After all, I’d stop at nothing to become purified.

I wasn’t able to hear the voices anymore after I stopped at a cottage in the woods, so I assumed I had arrived. It was a modest little house, with two floors and a little dead tree base near the front for chopping wood. Though I wasn’t here to admire the house set on top of green blades of grass, I was here for one thing. The man’s services.

Suddenly through his second floor window I saw him coming from the right side of the glass pane and disappearing after he wad walked past it to the left. 

“W-wait!” I yelled, jolting forward as my brain cleared of the thought that this might be the wrong house. Suddenly though, I tripped and fell flat on my face, the grass brushing against my skin. My right foot had gotten caught on something which caused me to trip, and it also happened to happen at the worst time possible.

Though my little kthud must of attracted someone, because a few seconds later I felt someone pulling me to my feet and dislodging my right foot from the ground. Somehow I managed to not retain any injuries, but the man in front of me still looked concerned with his worry evident in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” He asked, looking into my eyes. “You’re not hurt are you? I heard your scream from my house and instantly came running over.” 

Ah that explained it. He was the old man’s neighbor, which put him in my earshot of my scream. I hope I hadn’t screamed like a little girl, that’d be embarrassing.

“Yeah I’m fine, thanks.” I answered, feeling my hand twitch and dig my fingers into the air by my side. I had to get that refill, and soon. “I just came to visit my grandpa here, I’m sorry for bothering you.”:

The man’s brows furrowed in confusion, making me wonder if I had said something wrong. After all, I didn’t always feel in control of my body, so I wouldn’t put it past myself.

“No one’s lived here before,” He said, making my eyes widen in shock. How could no one live here? You just- but I just- I saw the same man through the window! Though I quickly composed myself, not wanting to seem more suspicious than I already probably do. “Are you alright? Do you need me to call your parents?” 

Chills ran up my body and my heart began to race a bit at the mention of my parents. I couldn’t even imagine the thought of them finding out that I was in this situation. If they did… it wouldn’t be pretty, so I needed to come up with an excuse so he wouldn’t send me home. After all, I’d rather be homeless than not get my refill. “Oh no you don’t have to! It’s just my grandpa moved and I was going to visit his house. My mom wrote his address on a piece of paper, and I must’ve read it wrong. But thank you for your kindness.” I tried my best not to sound nervous, but he still looked at me suspiciously.

“Alright, are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?” He asked, probably hoping something like the location mix up wouldn’t happen to me again. And judging by the fact that I pretty much screamed at nothing then fell on my face, I didn’t seem to be in the right state of mine either.

I nodded, wanting him to leave so I could get home soon. Adults always slept for a while on days they don’t have work, but they’d wake up at some point, and even an idiot would know that. 

He did eventually leave though, disappearing among the myriad shades of green. I waited until I couldn’t see him anymore before I walked to the front door of the cottage, shaking some dirt off of my right foot. I opened the door and let myself in, not hearing any movement upstairs. I needed to see the man and get my refill, but I also had to investigate and prove I’m not insane. So I took a deep breath, and with a newly cleaned right foot, I began investigating.

 -Once you’re gone, you’re lost forever_

       🍮🎀𓈒 ˚ ⋆ chapter one ⋆ ˚ 𓈒🎀🍮

Walks were always an enjoyable thing for me. Not because I learned to love it while walking with my grandma and mom, (ok maybe a tiny bit). But because it gave me an excuse to not be home, and be in the dazzling nature of the woods. So instead of asking the teachers for D-slips, I can walk along a dirt trail as sunlight pours through the leaves.

The birds were chirping in the distance, a sound that I had a habit of hating in the morning. I continued walking until I saw a fallen log on the ground, something I’ve seen a million of times in the forest. But I caught a glimpse of motion in the corner of my right eye and I turned, only to meet the gaze of an old man.

He had a soft smile on his face and was waving at me. He had a beard and was holding a picnic basket in his right hand with a cane in his left hand. His skin was pale, probably because he didn’t get out much. After all, no retirement homes were located near here, making these walks more isolated then this trail already was.

I walked up to him, his gentle eyes blinking slowly as I got closer and closer. He didn’t seem threatening, and if he was, the worst damage he could do at this point was wack me with his cane. And I had almost broken all of my fingers at once before.

“Hello there young man,” The old man greeted me with his sunken smile, putting his arm down when I got close. “Could you spare me a second to share a meal with this old man?”

I figured it couldn’t hurt, he seemed sweet and polite even though he was a stranger. Plus, an old man couldn’t do much malicious things. After all he was too old to do something like lug a body, and he’d already lived out his life.

“Sure, I found an old log, so we can just eat there.” I told him, helping him make his way back down the direction I came from. “Here, right this way.”

Once he sat down on the log, the old man placed his picnic basket on the ground, grabbing the lid and flipping it open. Inside there was three sandwiches, some watermelon, apple slices, and some beef jerky. He grabbed a slice of watermelon and began nibbling on it as I grabbed a sandwich, the lettuce a bright green compared to the shades of grass below it.

Overall, the man and I had a nice conversation, even though he looked as old as oak. The food wasn’t that bad either, and our conversations made me forget about the anxiety I had of how my parents would react when I got home. Just for a little while though.

“You know, you’re a really kind person, but I can see it in your eyes. You’ve been hurt a couple times.” He randomly pointed out as we swatted away at the few bugs around us. “But I’ve got the perfect antidote to cure a heart of stone.” 

He reached into his clothing pocket and pulled out a blue bottle of medicine, containing tiny red pills. With the combinations of colors, they looked purple. But if you squinted hard enough to see past their color facade, you could see what was truly underneath. The color red.

“This stuff can do wonders, take you to nirvana, make you a better man,” The man said, his smile turning into a grin. He packed up his picnic basket and started walking off, but before he did he turned around and told me something.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear your mind, forget all the hate. Take as I advised, not more than prescribed. Several weeks ahead, you'll be fine again.” And that was his last words until he turned around and continued walking away, eventually going out of sight.

After that I went home feeling confused. Sure, the words that he had repeated were stuck in my head, but that didn’t explain much. What were these pills made out of? Why did he have these? Who was that man? And the more deadlier question…. what would happen if I overdosed?

I swung the front door open then proceeded to head to my room which was on the second floor. It was a modest room, containing nothing much past a bed and a white desk, except a few trinkets and odds and ends from friends.

I put the bottle on the smooth surface of my desk, glad to be in an isolated room away from my family. I flopped onto my bed, wishing I had some new manga to read as I stared at the ceiling. Walls of just straight words wasn’t something for me, especially since I was one of those learners better with pictures. Whatever those are called.

I also hated being alone with my own thoughts, which caused my thoughts to drift around different topics in my head until it landed on one. The medicine, if you could even call it that and not “creepy drugs and old man gave me.” I sat up on my bed, unable to detour my thoughts away from it since my curiosity had apparently been gnawing at me the whole time. I swung my feet off the bed, the carpeted floor brushing up against the bottom of my foot as I stood up fully, walking over to my desk before I plopped onto my desk chair.

I grabbed the bottle with my right hand, using my thumb to easily flick the lid open. It fit into the palm of my hand easily, like it was made for me. I raised it to my lip, only having one thought in that moment, “what do I have to lose?” Before I poured a few into my mouth, swallowing them easily even though I didn’t have water.

I closed the cap and put it back on the sturdy table before I leaned back on my chair. It felt as if I was touching the clouds, feeling their airy softness against my skin as they brushed by me. I felt like I was bathing in the sky, the pure blue becoming blankets that enveloped me, folding over and over again. My eyes started to close as I drifted off to sleep, my heart feeling at peace. Yet before I fell asleep I felt an odd sensation. One akin to riding on a magic broom - or a carpet ride that was taking me to somewhere unknown.

(Story inspired by six pills and demon mode)

not dead, just last weekend did a huge double show and have been staying up late for self care. So have an image :)

I noticed by art skill had been falling a bit so I tried drawing a cover of one of the books I had. I’m not sure if I’ll color it yet tbh.

Dear @aniverse-x

No problem, I'm always here for you! You don't have to thank me though.

I could tell you were going through a tough time, and I hope right now is better for you. 

Also, I want to make sure you know that I liked a huge amount of your posts not out of pity, it's because I think you're a generally nice and talented person who is a bit too hard on yourself. I hope you know I'm always a safe space for you to come to, and if you ever want to talk to me just hit up my asks and comments on this account, or the messages and whatnot on my second account. I can't guarantee I’ll always respond straight away, but I will get to it at some point. :)

I'm glad I could make your day better, and I hope you know that even though you didn't get the score you wanted at track. You made me proud. Just getting out there in front of a crowd is impressive, not many people could do that. Also, you had me at track. Track?!?! We’re still talking about the sport where you move your legs real fast right?!?! It's amazing you can do that! I have an athlectisim of an old grandma lol, so I'll never join track, but I hope you know I will always be your number 1# fan supporting you.

If you're ever feeling lonely or down, you can imagine a little me popping up and being your imaginary friend. I’ll cheer for you spiritually at your concerts, and try to cheer you up. I care for you greatlly like all of my followers. <3 

You can vent to me whenever, and I may not always be able to fix your problems, but I can listen. 

Also more about the track thing, I'm sure that really sucks. But, if I had to give advice, I think that you don't need to prove to the world that your great, you need to prove it to yourself first. So don't beat yourself up over a loss, I know you'll do great next time! Like Natsu said in a game I was playing, “Being kicked down just makes it that more amazing when you get up and steal first place.” I believe in you, and don't give up on what makes you passionate!

Like the cliche line “Rome wasn't built in a day” remember to pace yourself. I have a stepmom who was a great runner, but she didn't start out that way. I have no doubt that you'll be running your way to the top soon.

So have a good day and remember to drink water because you're an important human being. And I mean that so don't you DARE forget it. ❤️ 

Love, your favorite Mizook cookie

just finished my track meet against 16 other schools. I’m not too happy with my results, but when I came on tumblr(about 5 minutes ago) I saw 28 notes. This made me so happy.

bc of the 28 notes, I’m not sad anymore(I am but not as much) I luv yall so much❤️

and thanks to @magnificentdreamlandblizzard for providing 10 of those notes. (I will never forget you)

Time for day 4! My favorite male character.

Hmm… that’s an interesting question. If we were to go overall maybe for kindness it would be Toya from PJSK? He’s just a sweet little muffin that has been through a lot with his dad, and trying to find his place in the world.

One of my favorite fanmade comics of him was actually made by @juicelooped , and I saved it so I can look at whenever.

This honestly warms my heart, and I’m so glad I found this so make sure to show Juice some support!

Anyway his dad has put him in a kerfuffle so many times, thats he’s even cried before. Yet he still remains kind to others like when he tried to make muffins for the Tenmas. He supports everyone when they need it, and would never be mean to a soul. He has had a hard time growing up, but not only does he have great vocals, he also is doing it to pursue his love of music and because it makes his dad frustrated.

As the story progresses, I’m glad to see Toya learning to stand up for himself, and I wish the bestest boy my sweetest regards. :)

Posting a yandere quote because this post got a note. Actually my own idea i thought of today! ^^

“Darling if I can’t keep you in a chokehold hug to keep you all to myself, then what is love?”

Continuing This Cause I Missed Yesterday

Hi guys! I’m sorry I didn’t do this yesterday, my account was glitching but now that I can get back in I’ll do two today to make up for yesterday, so lets go!

My earliest memory of watching anime has to be Sword Art Online, or as abbreviated, SAO. It has a lot of lore attached to it as they transfer to other games and what not, but the basis starts with the characters in a game called… you guessed it, Sword Art Online.

This game with 100,000 or 10,000 players ends up trapping them inside by the developer, Akihiko Kayaba. He traps them inside by making their headsets send electronic waves if they die, or the headset pulls off, killing them. It’s a great anime, and I highly recommend watching it.

Also along with it being my first anime, it’s also my first anime-joined-fandom, what a coincidence. It’s like my childhood show, and will always have a special place in my heart, and a small place in my wallet. (I buy many comics of it.)