*La Vie En Rose Plays In The Background While I Write A Letter To My Younger Self About How Being A Teen

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

*basking aggressively*

mid march mantra

It's true that you must leave behind the old to welcome the new. But make sure you bring into the future the best of you.

Rebirth means parting with fragility Relinquish in place of the unknown However tumultuous or composed Controlled sacifice for betterment

wpm

I miss you. I miss the feel of your hair through my fingers and the way you'd sigh and relax into my touch. I miss the random song quotes that are always somehow absolutely perfect for the situation. I miss when you'd laugh like a child. I miss calling you at midnight. I miss how your voice would soften up, just for me. I miss when you'd hug me, then hug me tighter. Like nothing in the world could take me away. Why'd you let me go away? I miss you. Whyd you say those hurtful things to me? Why do you never understand. I love you, and I know you love me. But why are we always mismatched puzzle pieces?

I hate that I'm hurting you. I hate the thought of you lying in someone else's lap. But I can't be there for you like I want to because it will rip me apart.

I don't want anyone else to touch me. Their fingers feel clammy on my skin. And when I see brown eyes in sunlight all I think about is you. How could I kiss someone with your name on my lips? That would be a crime. And yet I want someone to press my body against a wall and cover up your fingerprints with theirs and kiss me so hard I forget everything about kissing you and remember everything about myself. I want to remember how to move toward someone else's warmth. I want to learn how to love you from a distance. How to say "happy birthday." Not "get in your car and come back to me."

I want to see your new girl and be happy for you. I want you to get a new girl. I want you to let me go. Even though it hurts. I want you to be happy without me. Even though that's sort of a lie. I want you to come pick me up and take me home. I want you to mark me and call me yours and tuck me in and sleep on my chest with my fingers in your hair. I want you to sigh and relax into my touch.

But we are still mismatched puzzle pieces.

I would prefer to ache than to feel nothingness. I want to listen to songs that make me double over in emotional agony because pain is beautiful. Pain connects us. I want to skip down the street and run over train tracks. I want to be early to weddings in my best dress, and stay late at house parties helping my friend get the crumbs out of their couch. I want to sway with the ocean. I want to grow like a sunflower, to face the sun and have no regrets.

“i would rather die of passion than of boredom”

- Van Gough

I think running in a place like this would feel like freedom

Golden Haze across Fells. The Lake District

Freddie Ardley

You are here to be beautiful 💗

(And strange😈)

The feminine urge to put lipstick kisses all over his neck, take a picture of it and make it my lock screen~♡

And a chicken nugget

Why aren't cuddle hookups a thing? I just want someone to drop everything at midnight to come and hold me for a long time. Just because I seem soft and beautiful, and they need to be held too. I want to run my fingers through someone's hair.

That is all.

As you were, peasants.