Roger : *sneezes*

Ares: Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...

Ares: Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.

Dionysus: when was the last time you got laid?

Hermes: when was the last time you came home sober?

Dionysus: touché

“In only seven days” by John Deacon, 1974

Hades: Is it wrong for me to wish my dog had arms to get me a beer?

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

From “Soft Spoken Spells: Poems for Your Inner Witch” by Nichole McElhaney

Hades: Since we’re going to Alaska for a while, i’ve left all of you a complimentary bowl of advice.

Hades, picking one piece of paper out of the bowl: For instance, “Theo, stop doing that” just applies to everything.

Persephone: I know it was you because you’re the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup

Hades: …soup is delicious

Y'all remember Roger’s post on IG? The one with the BoRhap soundtrack and IILWMC was featured in it? Yeah…yeah.