Brooklyn Nine-Nine | 5x10 - Game Night

♪ bi, bi, bi ♪

Concept: an RPG side quest where a couple of villagers ask you to help sort out their marital problems, and actual solution is to sit their asses down for a counseling session and talk about how they’ve reached a point in their lives that each of them independently arrived at the conclusion that asking a heavily armed stranger they’ve just met to secretly mess with their spouse was a reasonable way to approach their relationship.

Actually it depends on Whos around.

The Horoscope App

Aquarius: You aren’t being honest w/those around U, least of all yourself. Figure out how U really do feel & decide what you really want.

Slightly different via /r/memes http://ift.tt/2yDgip3

here’s the stuff my mama taught me: there’s iron to bind the fae, throw salt  over one shoulder  and never wait for a man to fix you -  get AAA but know how to change a tire, use tape or a knife or running water to open jars, stand on whatever you need to in order to reach the top shelf or else just don’t put things up there, and never put your man above your friends  or soon you’ll have neither, baby

i wrote you love notes in sugar packets,  told her i was so crazy for you i’d cut my hair off  she said god i hope not i tore open the jar of my body and carved out whatever home you’d lick up, crawled on knees and changed myself until i was flat by the roadside, hated the cliche but called the devil to me

my mother picked me up off the kitchen floor. she said: here’s where to put the spoons  but maman my heart is in his hands and he is a vice and i am the moon put salt on watermelon and brown sugar in tuna but maman i taste nothing and this world is nothing without him here’s how to fold a napkin  but maman i can fold into nothing but him and him and him

she shows me how to sew. how to leave out milk. how to set a smile.

she presses the handle of a knife into my palm.  “And when all else fails, my love,” she says, “Chop something up and move on.”