Lycanwillow - Dig Into The Dirt

idk about y’all but I think it’s pretty terrifying having to personally hear bisexuals in offline spaces express being practically shamed out of openly identifying as bisexual because they’ve internalized the belief that bisexuality is not inclusive of trans/nb ppl and if that doesn’t hit home for you how dangerous misinformation and ahistorical takes are in the current state of LGBT activism then I honestly don’t have much else to say.

There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.

Tbh as a bi woman I don’t need reminders that I’m “valid.” I know I’m bi, I’m not pretending, I know I’m “valid.” I don’t need reminders that I’m just as oppressed as the gays because that’s not true or helpful to anyone.

As a bi woman I need reminders that I’m not inherently more likely to cheat on a partner, that my capacity to love women isn’t lesser purely because I can find men attractive, that I’m not pretending to be a lesbian just because I like to dress a certain way or because I only want to date women, that I’m not deliberately misleading people about my orientation by being me, that I’m not destined to end up with a man purely because I could, that I’m not going to change my mind when I say that my ideal future is a reasonably sized house with a garden big enough for my wife and I to have a greenhouse and some chickens

That’s the kind of bi positivity I and other bi women need, not the empty uwu~ validation that seems to be everywhere

How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

man, I have very little sympathy for people who’re like “I gotta let them play in traffic, my cat WAILS and acts MISERABLE unless I let them outside!” 

because like……….so does mine? at a certain point each day Grim decides she wants out, and until that happens she a) follows me about SCREAMING, and b) sits atop whatever I’m doing and bites my hands. this is not an exageration

wanna know what I do? I take her out. either supervised in my backyard or on leash in the front

she naps in the sunlight, eats copious amounts of grass, rolls in dirt, and murders butterflies. after 15-30 minutes (equivalent to the time you’d spend on a neighbourhood dog walk) I take Grim back in, and she happily sleeps/plays/cuddles indoors for the remainder of the day

it’s legitimately low-effort

yeah people shouldnt be meanspirited and make fun of your harmless interests to your face for no reason but

1. you need to learn how to be secure in your interests, autism/adhd or not. its a life skill.

2. criticism shouldnt make you cry or get overwhelmingly defensive. worse things have happened then someone pointing out your interests have issues.

3. part of life is accepting not everyone likes what you like and move on. not for just everyone else's sake but your own.

4. its important to try and split your attention between more than one thing, and to have interests that are lower stimulus than your special interest.

Also. It's okay to enjoy content with gay/bi men in it and appreciate them as characters or their ships. But when you start treating them like babies or something just for your entertainment? Gross. There's a line between appreciation and fetishization, more people need to learn when they cross it.

“gay men shouldn’t be over sexualized and be treated like sexual deviants” and “gay men are allowed to be in sexual relationships and talk about their sexuality in adult spaces” are two things that can exist at the same time. 

people who use the first to call out any instance of gay sexuality as “gross” and say gay men can’t show any signs of sexuality towards their partners are a problem. people who use gay men’s sexuality as a fetish are a problem. gay men are allowed to have sexual feelings and feel sexual attraction and they shouldn’t be demonized or fetishized for it.

tldr just treat gay men with respect and stop infantilizing us and/or fetishizing us. 

Art by Boris Groh

Yet another PSA about the new bi labels! 💖

I’ve seen a few people saying that they don’t like the bi terms (particularly the ones based on animals; like doe, tomcat, stag, pidgeon, dove, and crow). And guess what?

That’s understandable!!

Especially if you are a person of color, then it is completely reasonable to not want to be called an animal. There are already a few alternatives to use, as well, in response to this!

But you know what is not understandable?

No matter what side of the argument you’re on, you should not force others to use, not use, or like the labels.

If you use these animal-related bisexual labels, and someone says that they don’t want to use them (ESPECIALLY people of color), don’t force them to use it or say they’re biphobic for not liking the terms.

If you don’t like these labels, and you meet someone who likes them or uses them, don’t force them to stop.

Some people aren’t offended by the terms. That’s okay! Let them enjoy them! And some people are offended by the terms. Cool! They don’t have to use them, or even like them! Using these terms is a choice, so, please, let people make their own.