Lurkinin - Lurkin

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

'The Fairy Tailor' by Charles Edward Burton Bernard, (1890 - 1977).

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

Also Details! a dress: cute but plain

A dress but put a belt or two in the middle: getting interesting!

A dress held together by a corset: gurl ur slaying

Fuckkkk my frame might just be too masculine for cute dresses :(

To The People I Pass On The Train At Night - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

Still remember when there was a picture of a blind man attempting to cross the street and one of the options was „establish eye contact“ lmao

drivers ed is like:

what should you do while driving?

a) text on your phone

b) look at the road

c) cocaine

d) hit children with your car on purpose

logically I know pussy isn't supposed to come in fruity flavors but emotionally mine would taste like strawberries & cream dr pepper

Pig: omnomnomnomnom

Camera falls from a plane and lands in a pig pen.