(🍀 PREV) | (START)

She did an amazing job cleaning my weird ass sketch up btw. I‘m hella grateful!

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

Still remember when there was a picture of a blind man attempting to cross the street and one of the options was „establish eye contact“ lmao

drivers ed is like:

what should you do while driving?

a) text on your phone

b) look at the road

c) cocaine

d) hit children with your car on purpose

idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me

logically I know pussy isn't supposed to come in fruity flavors but emotionally mine would taste like strawberries & cream dr pepper

Dudes get divorced at 45 and realize they don't know how to cook or clean or do taxes and suddenly they get really into avenging some city state that was humiliated 1000 years ago. (Drunk driving with a firearm)

i fucking hate fruit flies literally get out of my face im not a fruit

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

Get sniffed Fucker!

you have been SNIFED, reblog to snif the next person

REBLOG IF YOU WOULD DATE A TRANSGENDER.