Es Demasiado Bonito Para Mí Pobre Corazón

ok i just wanna check something.... reblog if you've never watched/opened tumblr live

let shinso join dekusquad u cowards

prompt #29 - Jango Fett custody battle for the clones turns into Jango (and the mandalorians) marrying the Jedi

Jango wanted a son. Only one- but then the sith got and used his dna samples to make a clone army

Jango was out for a couple days as the sith did this (carbonite, kidnapping, etc) 

Then the jedi arrive on kamino, and free jango and the clones

Some of the clones want to be with the jedi but jango is like “my children” 

But plo and shaak want clone children, because they are jedi space parents 

Custody battle/total chaos ensues 

The clones don’t know who to choose, they love them both

The clone wars is just a giant custody battle for the GAR 

here’s the breakdown: sudden father of clones vs the jedi, vs the clones who want the jedi, vs the clones who want jango, it’s a BIG court case

And we didn’t discuss this in the server BUT you can bet the holonet is freaking out over it, and everyone is taking sides (it’s like star wars judge judy mixed with KUWTK, mixed with any other dramatic reality tv show, much drama)  

Mr sheev palpatine is very pissed™, since he wanted the clones to be his secret weapon but now they’re just the children of the jedi?? What is happening to his perfect sithly plan?? Now they’re going to find the control chips!!

What ends up happening is the jedi and jango become the divorced parents who low key hate each other. 

They get split time with the clones - like every other week they switch or something like that. 

But then. Oh but then. Jango, who is a mandalorian (mandalorians are weak for hot people who can fight) sees the jedi fighting. He is gone.

Jango.exe has stopped working. The clones are like “um, buir? Are you okay?” he can’t even answer. 

Since when can jedi do that (he saw them doing ataru and that was what pushed him over the edge) 

The clones are like “dad”. Jango just… *squeak*. The clones, realizing what’s happening - “Oh he’s seen Master Mom-Ti”. *higher squeak*. Jango has a breakdown while the clones are laughing and watching all the moves the jedi are pulling 

Jango is the “count me in as scared and horny” meme except he has so much confidence, that as soon as the jedi are done fighting he goes over and kisses kit fisto (who is a total DILF, btw) 

Jango decides, of course, the only rational response to this is to marry the jedi. Like all the jedi. Immediately. 

But then when the other mandalorians find out, they want jedi too.

Jango shows up to the mando reunion with like 50 jedi on his arm and the mandalorians are like “um excuse me wtf” 

Cue mando civil war 

The galaxy, who has been entertained by the custody court case, is shocked! Surprised! Confused! Even betrayed! They’re like “wait we thought you hated them? What do mandalorians know about the jedi that we don’t?” 

Galaxy vs. mandalorians over jedi marriage

Mandalorians are united against the galaxy, but it’s everyone for themselves when it’s just them fighting over getting a jedi 

Did you think the jedi would stop everyone fighting over their hand in marriage? Hell no. they are having way too much fun watching the galaxy fight over them. They are little shits and they’re just gonna sit back and watch for once

Shaak Ti, in particular, has many mandalorian spouses

Jango ends up claiming aayla for his son bly and he has many long arguments with the one and only quinlan vos over whether or not their children are worthy of each other

Quinlan has the “if you hurt my daughter, so help me” talk with bly, and aayla and jango are standing in the corner, glaring at quinlan (who may or may not be half drunk) 

Bly is terrified of quinlan vos, because even if he’s half drunk, that man can be intimidating when he wants to be (quinlan is overprotective in some areas, loose in others. He is in multiple relationships. but he’s also a hardass when it comes to aayla, that’s for damn sure)

Yoda is officiating all the weddings, because space troll grandpa is finally having so much fun and he’s taking it all the way

“MARRIED YOU ARE BECAUSE SAY SO I DO” 

Zero room for arguments. If you think they’re doing the “if you object to this union speak now or forever hold your piece” thing, you are mistaken. Nobody is arguing with this marriage if yoda’s officiating. If you try to object, he will 100% whack your shins with his stick until you have many bruises. 

Jedi (over)share everything with each other, because they can feel everything, so why is anakin hiding his marriage anymore (especially after all this mandalorian drama)

Answer: he’s not hiding. Our favorite walking disaster reveals his marriage, which everyone probably already knew about (anakin has zero subtlety, you know it, i know it, the entire galaxy knows it) 

Padme and anakin renew their vows, and of course, yoda is at the altar (his entire speech about why they’re gathered there today is FILLED with passive aggressive comments about not being invited to their wedding in the first place) 

“Gathered here, we are, to renew young skywalker and senator amidala’s vows. Big event this is, yes, as see their original ceremony, we did not. Nice, it must have been. Know, I wouldn’t” *whacks anakin in the shin* 

They end up discovering the control chips. The jedi, jango, and all the mandalorian spouses/trophy wives GO AFTER palpatine. He is very, very dead. 

if you rb pls tag where your from and which ones you did! i live in texas and we did fire, tornado, shooter, and nuclear (there is a nuclear power plant near where i grew up and the plan was to hide under our desks and clench)

I’ll never forget what youve done for me. For us.

Goodbye.

I knew I recognized this from somewhere...🤔🤔

Loki its your turn :)

Te ame con una intensidad que no es posible describir y con esa misma intensidad te lloré cuando me rompiste.

-Yuesainte-

#Saveyourinternet

If you would’ve known that that stupid river was the fountain of youth, you never would’ve drank from it. That was 300 years ago. You’re permanently stuck at age 26. The only one you really have left in your life is your horse, who also made the mistake of drinking from it.