I Am A Grown Ass Adult And I Still Get Nausea When I Feel Like I'm In Trouble. They're Gonna Send Me

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

they're letting me run around in the research lab to boost morale (because of how cute i am) even though i have several mysterious properties. the safety committee is PISSED lol and they're right to be because no one knows about my spores

[check under cut for more]

Hello, Jon.

Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.

I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

gourmand be cooking

shes just like me! (jk i dont eat rocks.... maybe)

What if you poked me in the chest and your finger broke through like you were cracking into a rotted plank of wood and dust came out and I just crumpled into nothing and my spores got into your nose