Do U Ever Send Smth In A Chat Thats Not Even Risqué Like “i Luv Salsa” But No One Responds So U

me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

I went to bed and I woke up feeling well rested. this has never happened before what do I do

The funniest part about liking Serious Angst Themes while simultaneously fixating on a silly blorbo from my show is that 13 year old me would be writing the exact same type of fanfics as me now. Real tragedy enjoyers know ts for life

Me: what if my favorite characters smoked cigarettes ans has severe trauma 😈

13 year old me: And drank alcohol and had horrible coping mechanisms too

Me: thats badass. I like the way you think

13 year old me: stop saying cusswords my mom Will get mad

Me: sorry

13 year old me: why are you a boy

Me: We're getting off topic.

Mr Smirke, Although your list is clearly the best ever written with no contest, I would like to replace the names as to prevent feeding the respective entity at their mention. These are my suggested replacements

The Stuff (Buried)

The Grody (Corruption)

The Bedtime (Dark)

The Hot (Desolation)

The Sleepy (End)

The Peeper (Eye)

The Yummers (flesh)

The Zoomies (Hunt)

The Big Sad (Lonely)

The Angy (Slaughter)

The Huh (Spiral)

The Weirdo (Stranger)

The Big (Vast)

The Spooder (Web)

I’d love to hear you thoughts on this.

-A colleague

I don't have a response to this but I need everyone to see it

If you’re being questioned about a murder by one of those hobbyist detectives. it is an absolute rule that you have to be washing the dishes or pruning some plants while talking, so that when they finally get around to asking a pointed question about where you were at the time of the murder you can freeze for a second with a knife in your hand. It’s enrichment for them you gotta understand. They thrive off of red herrings, it’s their favorite treat, so even if you have a rock solid alibi and weren’t involved with the murder at all you have to give them some reason to be suspicious of you. It’s what friends are for.

"ohh my god you can't just-"

Am I yours to command? Does the collar 'round my neck have your name on it? I kneel to no king nor god, and I see no crown on you.

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

Hey, I’m just reaching out to people on Tumblr. You’ve probably heard of Jesus and God, but have you ever reached out to Jesus for problems in your life? Big or small. Not to make you uncomfortable, but did you know sin (in your life and other people’s lives) can really hurt you, it make feel like there is a void that is never satisfied. That void could be called a “God sized hole.” Sin sucks and not just in a societal cookie cutter way, but in a way that it feels like there is a decay within a person. That can be a lot to take in, but I hope it is good food for thought. I hope you’re having an awesome day!! 💕

Big, small, or God-sized, I've personally never had a problem with an unsatisfied hole that wasn't easily solved with lube.