Tha Fuck Was He Thinking?!

No one else seemed interested - I guess we’re just a couple of basic biotches

Warning: Braggadocios ravings ahead.

We assembled this gift basket for our car mechanic. Why? Because they are baller af. Remember those guys on NPR, “Cick and Clack”? Bruh, I got me a mechanic just like them. I’ve dragged my car in there on more than one occasion this past year (my partner as well) & every single time it’s been exemplary beyond necessary. It often includes a short lesson on what needed repairing (which includes a detailed rundown including a visual review of all the parts and work etc…)

Last time I brought it in because of an odd combustion smell after fast acceleration (I’m driving a standard because yes, I’m one of those jerkasses) & he drove it himself in an attempt to recreate the situation to help determine the cause. It didn’t happen for him but, then he explains, in great detail, what he believed may have happened. It included a thorough explanation which covered everything from a detailed rundown of engine combustion to catalytic conversion including which metals are used to convert the emissions & how atmospheric temperatures can affect this & so on & so on… Bruh, it was MIT level science being dropped on me.

So, he spent a decent amount of time trying to help me & what did he charge me for this? NOTHING!!!

Bruh, he was like: “just call me if it happens again and we’ll go from there”.

He also checked my compliance bushings because I know there’s a small crack in them and said it would be fine for now unless I wanted to spend a bunch of money on something that can wait. BRUH!!!

I wanted to rave about this but, not in a place where a ton of people would see and ask me if he could do some work for them.

Anyways, he’s busy enough & kinda I wanna keep it a secret.

But, if you find yourself around Scroll & Key and answer me these riddles three…I might just tell you where he may be…

This plant belonged to my great grandmother It’s close to a hundred years old. That’s what my Ma told me. Maybe she’s playing a prank on me but, she’s not really the type. Idk... It’s pretty cool tho, huh?

Wu-Tang is for the children!

Okay, so, this is literally me. I have a distinct memory (from when I was about 8) of bringing my portable record player over to my friends house in Yonkers & listening to records that I checked out of our town library. CDs were totally available at that time but, no, I just had to be some weird ass Wes Anderson character. That being said... You haven’t lived until you’ve listened to the Swedish import pressing of Disney’s Jungle Book through a direct drive turntable with a diamond needle at 33 1/3 RPM

LMFAO - I was 8! What is wrong with me?!

I really don’t understand the concept of a “side piece”. If there’s a mutual attraction between us - I would definitely introduce you to my partner because there’s a strong possibility you’ll be attracted to them as well (our personalities are very similar & we’re both pretty cute). Why would I exclude my partner from the possibility of shared attraction & emotional connection?

If there isn’t a shared attraction between all of us... Then, that’s that. Friendship? Possible. Side piece? Nope.

It’s very liberating to be able to express attraction to other people without judgement or jealousy when you & your partner are confident in your approach to potentially sensitive emotions. There is no scenario in which I would hide those feelings from my partner & I know they feel the same way. (I mean... we talk about these things all the time.)

I still don’t fully understand this stonk market stuff but, as long as it doesn’t affect working people’s 401k then, yeah, fuck those billionaire hedge fund fucks.

I don’t have a 401k or fuck with the stonk market at all. Call me old fashioned, I just got adopted by a doctor (a not for profit public health practitioner) & a nurse (now a ceramic artist) when I was 4 months old. Pretty much that was my lottery win & I’m thankful for that every dang day! Coulda been adopted by some religious zealots but, thank jeebus I was not.

Imagine being lost in the Tunisian desert & you stumble upon this...

The abandoned STAR WARS set in Tunesia. It’s like Tatooine after the Apocalypse. Photos by Rä di Martino.