I Am A Lover. But Underneath That I'm A Hater. And Then Underneath That I'm A Lover Again

advocate for weird and pathetic girls

i swear it is physically impossible for me to read a mary oliver quote without immediately having to hold back tears. "you do not have to be good" and "someone i loved once gave me a box of darkness. it took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift" and "i don't want to end up having simply visited this world" and "to love what is mortal against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go" and "it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world" and oh fuck it's happening again

it really pisses me off how easy it is to get sad and then how long and hard it is to get happy again like what the fuck man thats not fair

Sotce

the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

when elena ferrante said “there are people who leave and people who know how to be left” and when richard siken said “someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.” and when sally rooney wrote “if i told you where my car is right now, i don’t think i’d be able to leave, i think i would have to stay here just in case you changed your mind about everything” and when mikko harvey said “the number of hours we have together is actually not so large. please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”and when karese burrows wrote “i have never seen a door that doesn’t look like you leaving. look at me writing this poem. even here i don’t mean anything i say. except that I still want you. that whatever is in me still loves you deeply. it is a light i can’t turn off. i clap my hands and nothing happens.” and when margarita karapanou said “i never expected you to actually finish anything. you were always leaving. i always picture you with a suitcase in your hand.”

— Silas Denver Melvin, from GRIT: a poetry collection

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

Virga, the phenomenon of rain not reaching the ground. Virga is produced when rain is falling from the base of the cloud but evaporates in dry air before reaching the ground surface.