Cole Had Never Been A Tough Guy, Despite His Grandfather’s Targeted Encouragement Towards More Masculine

The only thing worse than the residual pounding in Cole’s head is the haunting thought of what he’d seen in the cemetery. Or what he thought he’d seen. He had desperately tried to convince himself it wasn’t real-- but to no avail. How could it not be, when it was so tangible? If it was a mind trick, he should be institutionalized. But something felt... off, like so many other things in Hawkins did. So, Cole smoked until he finally passed out, and woke up to his alarm two hours later.

All day at work, he’d kept his headphones around his neck, playing music loud enough to distract from thinking about what had happened. Maybe it was immature, but he didn’t know how to deal with it so he just avoided it. That is, until Cassie walked through his door. He knew from her expression what she wanted to talk about, and he dutifully paused the music. Dragging his fingers through his unruly curls, Cole shrugged. “Not feeling my best, to be honest. I didn’t sleep much,” he admitted. “What about you?” He vaguely remembered her being at the cemetery, but the more time passed, the less clear the memories became.

WHO: cassie & @colemontgomeryx​ WHERE: the music store

To say that Cassie didn’t sleep well the night after being at the cemetery was an understatement. She was up the entirety of the night, replaying the same scene in her head until she finally began to count sheep instead. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling of being lifted up in the air and the sound of her bones cracking, followed by the voice … the one that was telling her it would all be over soon. The most peculiar part was that she wasn’t herself, she was the cheerleader, whoever she was. Though she could’ve sworn that Lucas had mentioned her name when Cassie told the story, the details of the night before were so hazy that she couldn’t remember. Had they really drank that much?

Nancy had warned her about this, and she didn’t want to tell her first thing in the morning what had happened. Instead, she thought to see someone who had been there in the cemetery with her, someone who might have answers to the running list of questions that had been growing in her head since she left the graveyard. Cassie found herself at the music store, remembering from their first meeting that Cole worked there. She greeted him with a pained smile, approaching the counter. “Is it me, or was something weird in that beer last night, because I feel like I’m having the worst blackout of my life. But you … you hit your head, right? I just wanted to see how you were feeling.”

who: Cole & @drewcampbell​​

where: The Music Center

It had been a week and a half since Cole had gotten out of the hospital, and he’d run a few errands by himself despite his mother’s and Adam’s protests. Truly, Cole was sick of being stuck in the house, like he had been sick of the hospital room. He was restless. Though the owner of the Music Center had told him to take all the time he needed, Cole wanted to go back in to work, if only to get out of the house for a while. Plus, he hadn’t taught the new guy how to do inventory, and Cole hated when the owner attempted it. He’d once come back to find Joni Mitchell in the heavy metal section, and promptly banned anyone else from the job. 

The drive over was a spectacle, from Cole having to carefully lower himself into the driver’s seat and avoid moving too much or too quickly and inflame the pain in his broken ribs, to him driving with one hand and adjusting the radio with his arm in the sling. But, he pulled into his usual parking spot and let himself into the Music Center from the back door. Smiling at Drew, Cole waved with his good arm. “Hey, man. How’s it going? Holding everything down here?” he asked, eyes skimming over piles of undone inventory. Cole tucked a stack of records under his arm and busied himself immediately.

He turned, feeling Drew’s eyes on his back, and supposed he should explain his more-ghostly-than normal appearance, the still-healing cuts and bruises, the sling. “From the carnival. Wrong place, wrong time,” he grimaced. Then, lifting a brow, he asked the other: “Were you there? I don’t remember much. You didn’t get hurt, did you?” He didn’t know much about Drew, so he wasn’t necessarily worried about him, but Cole winced at the thought that they’d forced him to work because Cole had been hospitalized.

byersphotography​:

TW: FAMILY ABUSE MENTION

————————————————————————————————-

“I’m fiiiiine.” 

Cole’s assurance didn’t strike confidence. This guy needed help. He sighed, exasperated - the best course of action would be to drive him home. Where did this dude even live? While Jonathan had plans to go downtown and investigate Barb’s return, he couldn’t leave Cole stranded on this patio … even if it meant cleaning vomit from the carpet of his passenger seat. “Come on.” He shrugged towards the patio stairs. “I’ll take you home, man-”

“Lonnie, dude, he’s my daddy too,”

Cut off - the realization dawned on him. Lonnie. He hadn’t heard it aloud in a long time. Cole really couldn’t have come up with a more shocking way of saying – Surprise. Your dad fucked my mom. We’re all alcoholics in this family.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. This couldn’t happen here. Right now. Jonathan’s stomach sunk seeing Mike blast by the door. He did the only logical thing and sprung into action, calmly pulling Cole by the sleeve of his shirt to a corner of the patio, lowering his voice. “Are you fucking with me right now?” He knew Will was somewhere in the Wheeler house. Lonnie was virtually dead to him, but his mom and brother always seemed more affected by his antics. He wasn’t sure how they would react to this news. His own relationship with Lonnie was terrible. Fighting, yelling, neglect – it had all been tucked away in effort to keep the family afloat, but his dad had also been gone for a long time now. Things were good now. The Byers household didn’t need Lonnie’s legacy resurfaced for all of Hawkins to see – especially on his ex-girlfriend’s front porch, in one of the most pristine neighborhoods in town. “Who knows about this, Cole?” Jonathan remained calm but close to Cole, arm still on his shoulder, trying to decipher his drunken expression.

If only he could go back five minutes in time to the peace of Nancy’s bedroom.

xx.

Cole wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so tipsy-- were he thinking straight before the barbecue, perhaps he would’ve eaten something before playing several rounds of beer pong-- but he’d been so anxious about the conflict between he and Adam that he didn’t know the last time he’d had more than a few crackers. And unfortunately, Jonathan was experiencing the brunt of his thoughtlessness.  

At Jonathan’s offer to take him home, Cole shook his head furiously. “No, no, it’s okay, dude--” he paused, dizzy from the motion. “My boy... best... friend is taking me home,” he smiled at the thought of Adam. “Don’t worry, can’t drive anyway,” Cole murmured, picturing his mom’s wrecked car, a side effect from the last ‘party’ Cole had attended. 

There it was again, that look. Cole scrunched up his face, peering at Jonathan’s. Before he could ask if there was something on his face, Jonathan was pulling Cole away. In his less-than-coordinated state, Cole stumbled into a planter. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, as the snake plant toppled over. “Sorry, Karen,” he called over his shoulder, into the darkness. “’m not fucking with you, ‘m sorry... didn‘t mean to kick the plant,” he answered with a deep frown. Leaning down, Cole made a valiant attempt to right the planter, instead pushing too hard and sending it toppling to the other side. “Well, shit,” he stared at the feat of gravity. 

Jonathan repeated himself, causing Cole to raise on wobbly legs and look at him. “--the plant? I dunno, dude, there’s no one out here?” He scratched his head, nevermind the potting soil on his fingers. When Jonathan’s arm reached out to steady Cole, he stared at the other’s hand. Lonnie. Right. “Your mom,” he offered, leaning into Jonathan’s stability.  “Told her... a few days ago...” he struggled to remember what day it was, when he’d talked to Joyce. A warmth crept through his body at the memory of her acceptance. 

Suddenly insecure and unable to read Jonathan, Cole’s expression drooped. “Are you mad at me?”

goldenboyrichards​:

Their relationship had never gotten to look like a straight couple’s. In high school, Adam didn’t get to walk down the hall hand in hand with Cole, or kiss him when they got to their classroom door. Cole couldn’t show up to Adam’s games with Adam’s jersey number painted on his cheek. They couldn’t be out. That just wasn’t an option in Hawkins, Indiana. But they had always managed to find little ways of reclaiming the public displays of affection that they deserved. From sitting too close on the bus to away games to a casual arm thrown across the other’s shoulder, Adam and Cole had always tried to show how much they loved one another in their own way. Cole wearing Adam’s clothes was probably Adam’s favorite, though. He loved seeing the other in his hoodies or sweaters; he’d even given Cole his fucking letterman jacket in school, almost daring anyone to say something. So giving him another hoodie tonight was more than worth it if it warmed Cole up and brought a smile to his face after everything that had happened. 

“Yeah, me too,” Adam agreed, leaning back on the log. If only it was that simple. If only they’d had some sort of weird, freaky, shared nightmare or something. But something had happened, hadn’t it? Adam had felt it just as much as Cole. And that didn’t comfort him in the end. “But, we’re okay. Right? We both lived. We’re both here. We’ll get through this.” Maybe that was too optimistic, but Adam had always brought that to their relationship. Where Cole was more pragmatic, more understanding of the cruelties of the world, Adam was kind. He was gentle. He saw the best in all situations and people. And right now, they needed a little bit of optimism before they….well, before they drowned. 

It killed Adam to turn Cole down. If he could just go, he would in a heartbeat. That had always been the plan, after all - for them to leave, runaway together and move out to California. Somewhere where they could just be together. Where no one would hurt them for holding hands, or would look at them strangely for living together. And Adam had ruined that. Whether he meant to or not, Adam had kept them from leaving, and he was doing it again. It broke him to do that, but he couldn’t just leave his family. Not right now. “I’m so sorry, honey,” Adam told him, bringing Cole’s hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. If someone saw right now, Adam would say he was fucking kidding or something - but he needed to comfort Cole. “No, baby, it’s okay to be emotional.” Fuck, Adam was emotional. He felt sometimes like his heart was too big for his rib cage - it expanded out, bloody and raw for the world to see and judge and treat however it saw fit. He couldn’t hide a fucking emotion if he tried. “You won’t.” Adam swore. “I promise, Cole, I’m going to do everything that I can to be with you forever. Whatever happened before - we’ll just make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay? Together.” 

xx.

We’re okay. We’re both here. We’ll get through this. Adam’s words washed over Cole, enveloping him in the comforting hug Adam couldn’t physically give him right now. Cole’s smile gained strength as he met his boyfriend’s eyes. There were plenty of times in their relationship that Cole wasn’t particularly welcoming of Adam’s optimism; but now, there was nothing he was more thankful for in the world. It felt like confirmation that Adam was back-- that the cruel, cold flash of him was truly dead and gone. Cole squeezed his hand back. “Yeah. We’ll get through this. We can get through it together.” 

Cole’s heart sank at Adam’s apology, and he quickly tried to remediate the effects of his words. “No no no,” he murmured, scooting closer to Adam so he could keep his voice low. “Never apologize, my love,” he narrowly resisted the urge to cup Adam’s face, brush his cheek. It’s okay to be emotional... it is! But Cole was scared, so scared that if he let the cracks show, Adam would see how utterly broken he was. How his entire life stopped and lost meaning when Adam died. The ache had ebbed and flowed throughout the three years of Adam’s absence, but it was constant. Under the surface, Cole always knew that part of him was missing. But that didn’t matter, what mattered now was that Adam was here. They had a second chance, and Cole wasn’t going to ruin it.

“I just want you. Us. It doesn’t matter where, love, I promise.” Cole willed himself not to cry, but he couldn’t help the feeling that the ache in his chest was more exposed than ever. He’d learned what to do with the hollow feeling, how to cope with it, but this fear? The knowledge of life without Adam was too heavy to hold. So, he accepted Adam’s promise, knowing fully that neither of them could promise forever, not really. “It won’t happen again,” Cole repeated, almost convincing himself of its truth. “I love you so much. Always.”

END.

@mmuscles

zccming​:

.

if max hadn’t been so pleased with cole’s vow towards safety, there was a one hundred percent chance she would have wacked him across the chest for touching her. but this go around, just this once, she welcomed it. she closed her eyes, simply grateful to have him near. after taking a moment to convince herself that he would make good on that promise and be careful she flashed him a small smile and clapped her hand over his, “thanks.” and that was that. 

it was much easier to throw herself into teasing conversations. it wasn’t difficult for max to find a good time, but it did take some concentration to force herself to stay in the moment now and again. that being said, the information that cole dropped into her lap fully grabbed her attention. she had been expecting cole to stumble to come up with a full five people, so when he not only did that, but also name dropped steve and eddie, max’s jaw dropped, “shut the fuck up!” the back of her hand came into harsh contact with cole’s chest, “you’re joking.” she levelled with him. when it became abundantly clear that cole was being honest, she turned her head and curiously leaned in a little closer, “what the fuck? when?” screw adam and luke from college and also nancy’s boyfriend? there was no judgement to be found in max’s expression or in her tone, merely shock from apparently being severely out of the loop. regardless, she was fully invested now and swore her own secrecy with a zipping motion over her lips, “it will. i can keep quiet.” 

the reveal had been a nice reprieve, but matters circled back to billy, as they always seemed to these days, and max’s expression darkened. she hunched over, slightly more protective of her body as she divulged cole with details from her own life. “it’s cool, you didn’t force the asshole to come back.” she shrugged, picking up a pebble from the ground and fixing her eyes on it while she rolled it between her thumb and index finger. max sighed, shaking her head, then throwing the pebble into the distance, “he’s staying in the living room.” she looked back to cole. did she really need to say more than that? max didn’t seem to think so. 

cole’s unspoken offer to not talk about what happened with el was snatched up by max in record time and replaced with the sharp and giddy jabbing of her elbow into his ribs, “really good? like, you’re dating good? or what? i wanna know!” she’d been moody enough for one conversation and she’d caught a sudden wave of energy that she was finding to be extremely helpful in her enthusiastic efforts. 

the suggestion of breaking into melvald’s left max scoffing, “yeah, right. not my brightest moment.” she rolled her eyes and ashed her cigarette. despite the criticism of her past idea, max offered an equally as bad, but much more fresh one, “do you think we could get away with spray painting the police station? like what are the odds we pull it off?”

xx.

“Ow,” Cole groaned, rubbing his chest where Max had hit him. It wasn’t that hard, he just liked to make a point. He wondered for a moment if he should be offended that Max was so shocked, but the question passed when she asked for details. He knew she wasn’t judging him-- that had never been a factor in their friendship-- so he allowed himself to crack a smile. It was pretty ridiculous, after all.

“Steve was a while ago-- couple months, maybe. At some party; well, in his car outside of some party,” he admitted. “Eddie was... at the Blue Quarry Mall party, thing. Before your arrest, obviously,” Cole noted. “And Thad was a few weeks ago. That was weird,” his brow furrowed. He still didn’t know what to make of it, and he’d taken to pushing it out of his mind now that Adam was back. Cole nodded, relief passing over him at her promise to keep it secret. Obviously, he needed to tell Adam, but... it hadn’t come up. Truthfully, he was afraid it would change things, or change the way Adam viewed him. Cole really couldn’t take that. He couldn’t even entertain the thought.

He watched as Max’s body language shifted dramatically. Cole had never gotten details on what her and Billy’s relationship was like, other than he was an asshole, but how she was acting now was all he needed to know. “Goes without saying, but if you need to crash, my house is open. My mom loves you anyways,” he said, hoping she would take the offer. Or any offer really, just something that would put distance between her and Billy. Cole got a bad feeling in his gut when he thought about them staying together in the already-cramped trailer. It felt like playing with fire. 

At Max’s sudden change, Cole quirked an eyebrow. But whatever, maybe it was her way of signaling that she’d had too much of the heavy stuff, so he went along with it. A laugh escaped Cole’s lips, “Yeah? I mean, yes. We haven’t like explicitly talked about it, but...” Cole shrugged. “Not to be gross, but he’s my future. He’s it.” It was a funny question, he realized in retrospect, because Cole wouldn’t call Adam his ‘boyfriend’-- that felt too high school. Adam meant more to him than that, but he didn’t know how to put it into words. Hopefully Max got the gist.

Cole openly scoffed at Max’s new-and-improved suggestion. “Christ, Mayfield. Are you trying to get arrested again so soon?” Not that he had a better idea. “Why don’t we, like, break into Harrington’s pool or something else that won’t get us handcuffed.”

eddiemcnson​:

+++

“sure, here ya go.”, eddie nodded, fumbled to pull a cigarette from his pack and handed it to cole, along with the lighter. his eyes followed cole’s, dropping down to his ankle, brows drawn together in worried concern.

he shook his head. “no, you’re not going insane, man. i saw it, too. i mean, like, not what… what exactly dragged you down or anything but, uh, i was there.” eddie shrugged, pulled his lips into a polite smile - certainly not his best bid at reassuring someone that they weren’t losing their mind but hey, he’d tried.

the question, albeit expected, caught eddie somewhat off-guard. fingers flexing, he nearly dropped the cigarette, straightened his back, searched cole’s eyes. “uh, yeah. totally, totally, man. we’re, uh, we’re cool. yeah.” accompanied by eager nods,brows still drawn together.

they hadn’t had a chance to talk since the mall disaster, really, eddie had been preoccupied with committing arson, coming to terms with the fact that the supernatural was making a reappearance in town and kissing steve harrington, his schedule was quite busy these days. eddie had stopped by the music centre a couple of times, though he’d either been too nervous to talk to cole or had been roped into long, winding conversations about jazz and being a metalhead. so, yeah, they hadn’t talked. and now, apparently, it was time to do just that.

not that eddie hadn’t picked up on the fact that cole and adam were seemingly going strong again - the looks the two of them exchanged reminded him of one’s that he shared with steve, too, and the thought of it made a faint blush rise to his cheek.

he nodded again. “yeah, we’re cool. no worries. i…. saw that adam’s back in town. im happy for you, man. really.” said with a genuine smile, he patted cole’s shoulder. “and also he’s like smoking hot, so go you.”

xx.

With a grateful smile, Cole took the cigarette from Eddie’s hands and lit it. He took an extended drag, hoping the hit of nicotine would numb the panic swirling around his insides. It had subsided to a dull ache now, to the point where he was just coexisting with it, but after the lake, it was loud again. He was determined not to let it show, lest he worried Adam.

Cole nodded, his lips pulled into a thin smile. It was reassuring for his sanity, at least, but he couldn’t deny that it is not what he wanted to hear. “You’ve known about... this stuff for a while, right?” he asked, meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Does it get... I don’t know, easier?” Everyone else seemed relatively well-adjusted, like they were taking all of this in stride, though, Cole supposed that could just be for show.

He couldn’t help but smile at Eddie’s characteristically nervous response. “Okay,” Cole breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, yeah. I just wanted to... check in, I guess.” He paused, sucked on the cigarette again. “Because you’re not half bad, and I think it’d be cool if we were friends,” he suggested. 

It would be hard for Cole to forget the relief he’d felt when Eddie had approached him at the mall-- not in a romantic way, the kissing had been good and all-- but because Eddie was also like him. Other than Adam, Cole hadn’t met anyone he could be honest with. And that was refreshing. Maybe even one day, after the dust settled and Cole had finally told Adam, all of them could be friends. 

A blush rose to Cole’s cheeks at the other’s comment. “Shit. I didn’t realize we were so obvious,” he said with a breathy laugh. But it was probably true; this time around, Cole cared very little about who saw and more about being near Adam. “Thanks. I know he is,” Cole gushed. Even after all this time, Adam’s smile made him feel like he was staring at the sun. “And he’s like... an incredible person,” Cole said, dopey smile and all. 

Feeling exposed, Cole quickly turned the conversation back to Eddie. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you and King Steve,” he raised a brow, lifting his cigarette once more to give him a chance to respond. 

stevehharringtcns​:

.

steve looked at cole as he moved to get another drink for them. with the conversation, steve hadn’t really paid attention to his bottle, so when the other handed him the second one, he just grabbed it and held onto it, now holding two bottles in both his hands, before tilting them both towards in a cheer way once the other spoke. “right… at least in lover’s lake. it just doesn’t seem like a good place to swim anymore.” he said with a small chuckle, nodding his head as he took a sip from the first bottle he had and letting out a sigh. it felt good to talk about everything, especially with someone like cole. he had never expected for this to happen and if someone were to tell him it would be with cole montgomery, he wouldn’t have believed it.

seeing cole laugh made steve raise an eyebrow, nodding his head as the other explained their connection with chrissy. “oh… i didn’t know about that.” he said, nodding his head slowly. “she’s really nice… i mean, even when i was in high school, she would usually sit with… you know, the jocks and all of that, but i had no idea she was doing that for you guys. that’s… sweet.” he said with a smile. hearing cole say that eddie liked him and that the way he looked at him was obvious, steve nodded his head. maybe it was all in his head - he was looking for reasons on why eddie wouldn’t be interested in him, self-sabotaging if one could call it that. he just hoped that one day the two could share how they really felt about one another. “you would think i would know what a look means, but liking a dude really makes it a whole new experience…” he said quietly, shaking his head as he chuckled.

steve appreciated that cole had taken the time to talk to him about it. he could have just dismissed him, but he didn’t. and steve was thankful. he smiled over at cole, nodding his head at the other’s statement. “well, i definitely got some practice with them… i’m sure eddie did too.” he said with a smile. he thought of the party and all of the things he had done together. sure, they gave him a hard time, but at the end of the day, steve knew that they were the closest thing he had to family. and that was saying something, considering he shared a house with his parents. maybe eddie felt the same way. “i guess you can say that… they’re kind of hard to ignore.” he said with a chuckle.

xx.

“Definitely not in Lover’s Lake. It’s eerie enough being this close to it,” Cole shuddered. He couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever it was was still out there, waiting for him. Shaking his head and taking another swig of beer, Cole decided that he would stop thinking about it for the night. Or, he would try to. But Steve was making it easier, by having a genuine conversation with him-- one that wasn’t all teasing and shallow, like they usually did. Earnestness looked good on Steve Harrington, unsurprisingly. 

Cole smiled with a fondness he rarely felt for others-- it was a category reserved for Adam, Chrissy, and Max. “Yeah, she’s great. She and Adam dated, you know, but obviously that didn’t work out... thank God all stayed friends,” he chuckled. Cole studied the multiple emotions that seemed to flash across Steve’s face and, God, he could relate. The agonizing months of after-school tutoring when Cole had to pretend he saw Adam as a friend or teammate only... he wouldn’t go back to that for anything. He nodded to communicate his understanding. “I get that, I really do. The first move is always the scariest,” he said, remembering his and Adam’s first kiss-- rushed, nervous, in the back of Adam’s car, but still complete magic. 

With a laugh, Cole shook his head. It was a surprise to everyone, he was sure, that Steve Harrington had become the designated babysitter for the party. But now that he knew Steve a little better, it made all the sense in the world. He was a comforting and steady presence, and he did have a nice car. "All that to say, I don’t think it’ll scare Eddie off. Just one man’s opinion,” he said, a hint of teasing in his tone. Then, with a more serious look, he asked: “So, what’s your next move, Harrington?”

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —”

— Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (via luthienne)

cassieconrads​:

It was almost a relief to hear that Cole had been experiencing the same kind of insomnia that Cassie had. She wasn’t sure what that meant for the group that had been at the cemetery overall, if they were doomed to be repeating the same dream-like vision over again and again. At least she didn’t have to worry about any physical injuries, like Cole and Lucas had sustained. Cassie wasn’t known for being the most careful person, and she was honestly shocked that she hadn’t wound up falling herself.

Cassie shook her head at his question, beginning to flip through the catalog on the counter as they spoke. “Me neither. Every time I close my eyes, it’s like I’m seeing the same dream all over again.” Maybe it was more than she should’ve admitted, but she somehow she felt more comfortable telling Cole about what she’d seen than Nancy, who hadn’t been there.

xx.

Cole busied himself, re-sorting the metal section. Why was it always the metal section that got ransacked? He glanced up at her, alarm in his eyes when she mentioned a dream haunting her. Was that a coincidence? Was that even possible? “Dream? What kind of dream?” he asked, dropping the record he was holding into its rightful place.

Until now, Cole had chalked his recurring vision up to the head injury, thinking that maybe hitting his head that hard had brought up some sort of unprocessed trauma. It made sense, or rather it was the explanation that was the least terrifying to think about.