Since Adam Had Returned, Cole Had Lost Half Of His Wardrobe. It Wasn’t Adam’s Idea Or Even His Preference--

eddiemcnson​:

+++

droplets of nervous sweat starting to appear above his brow, eddie’s eyes darted down to where cole pulled out that blasted bandana before he took both the cigarette and lighter from him. he clicked it a couple of times, no light appeared, eddie nervously glanced back up at cole, down at the lighter. violently shook it around for a moment, another attempt - it thankfully lit this time and he handed it back to cole.

he was a bundle of nerves. the previous pleasant buzz from the alcohol had almost entirely disappeared, he flicked  the cigarette’s filter repeatedly, fidgeted with his rings on his other hand. as if he was almost….waiting for cole to ridicule him. instead, however, he said something completely unexpected and eddie chocked on his own breath, sputtering cough.

he looked up to lock eyes with him. i am, too. the fuck did he mean? and ‘too’? was this some sort of trap? or was he literally genuinely saying what…eddie thought…he was saying? hadn’t he not gotten any of his surely widely popularly used phrases moments ago? he quirked a brow, took a drag once his coughing had subised. “you are….what?”, eyes narrowed, voice low in case this was, indeed, a trap.

adam richards was mentioned and, oh, jeez, it all made sense. eddie almost instantly felt bad, a guilty nauseau creeping up on him. way to go, munson, way to go. “your best friend, wasn’t he?” brows pulled together, lips twisted into a sympathetic smile. of course, max hadn’t been the only one who’d lost someone on the very ground they were standing on. “listen, man, i’m so…sorry - like, that’s gotta be rough, like, being here and everything. sorry. i can go and  leave you alone if you want to.”

xx. 

Cole didn’t waver under Eddie’s gaze. If he was correct, Eddie’s behavior made sense. Cole felt it too, the fear of being found out by someone who wasn’t safe. It was the reason Cole and Adam snuck around for the three years they were together-- to avoid the football jocks and the band geeks and the teachers berating them and calling them names. Only it never stopped there; it often got physical, violent. Of course Eddie was afraid.

It was like they were playing chicken, like they were standing in front of a train for as long as possible and pulling back at the last second-- exhilarating, maybe, but not satisfying. Something about being in the mall, all his thoughts about Adam... it was the perfect concoction for a confession. “I like guys,” he said, meeting Eddie’s eyes again. “Adam was my boyfriend.”

And then: relief. Cole felt like he’d recovered part of himself, like he’d regained a phantom limb. He hadn’t been able to talk about his feelings this openly since, well, Adam. It was refreshing, rejuvenating even. “If you want, I’ll prove it,” he teased, giving Eddie a once-over. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so open about it, but what’s the worst that could happen?

thequeenofhawkins​:

— ♔ —

“Easy, don’t hurt yourself for me,” Chrissy teased as Cole hissed in pain. He looked… good. Better than she had expected him to look, at least. Sure, he had a cast and was in clear pain, but after she heard of explosion followed by people dying followed by her friends being hospitalized, she expected Cole to look fully out of commission. “Sorry, I didn’t visit sooner. I just thought that your hospital room would be jam packed,” and I didn’t want to be a burden. “And you know how my mom is. I’m pretty sure she’s convinced that if I walk into a hospital, I’ll come out with some disease.”

But today wasn’t about her, it was about Cole. “I know I didn’t, but sugar will like, totally heal you,” it may have not been her most sound advice, but she had dealt with her fair share of torn ligaments and sprained ankles. Cheering was a dangerous sport at times, and nothing made her feel better than something a little indulgent when she felt bad. She grabbed her own tart, not caring about how there was the nagging voice of Laura Cunningham in her head telling her not to enjoy a dessert because it would go straight to her thighs or something equally as ridiculous. “Right? So much better than Jell-O and moldy sandwiches,” she agreed, sticking the lemon tart in her mouth, and reaching over to place the plate on Cole’s nightstand. 

She chewed up the tart before speaking again. Another Laura Cunningham ingrained thought? Never speak with an open mouth. Although that one sounded like decent advice. “You look better than I thought you would,” she admitted with a light laugh. “I really thought you were going to be in a full body cast,” then she peeked around the corner to make sure Maggie or Maude weren’t lurking. She glanced back at Cole. “How’s Adam taking it all? He’s not being a total maniac, is he?”

xx.

“I figured,” Cole said, unable to help the smile Chrissy brought out of him. To him, she was a reminder of a simpler time, the first person other than Adam who fully knew him and fully accepted him. “You’ll never guess who I shared a room with,” he paused a beat to build suspense. “Steve Harrington. I’m afraid most of the visitors were for him,” he joked. 

Taking another tart and plopping it in his mouth, Cole raise both his eyebrows. “I feel better already,” he declared. It was true, though he doubted it had much to do with the dessert and more to do with her company. “Fucking Steve Harrington took all my Jell-O,” he grumbled. “But I bet he doesn’t have a homemade lemon tart, so I win anyways.” He leaned back against his pillows, genuinely glad to be out of the hospital room, away from the constant alcohol smell, the too-bright lights, and the beeps and whirrs that kept him up all night.

Cole laughed at the image of him in a full body cast, then promptly winced. Laughter didn’t feel good yet, which hadn’t been a problem until now. Readjusting the ice pack on his rib cage, he sighed. “Helps to be naturally pretty, I guess. Distracts from the wounds,” he joked. At the mention of Adam, though, the smile melted off of Cole’s lips. Adam hadn’t been hurt physically, but mentally and emotionally? The carnival had done a number on him. ‘A total maniac’ was one way to describe his out-of-body experience. 

Furrowed brow, Cole studied his hands. He didn’t know how much to tell Chrissy; if she didn’t know anything, why should she be burdened with it? But on the other hand, what if she was in danger, too? He should’ve asked Chance about it when he visited the other day. “He’s... yeah, not great. Just, worried I think. He feels guilty. You know how he always finds a way to feel guilty,” Cole confided, knowing that even without all of the details, she would recognize this pattern. 

@goldenboyrichards

Sufjan Stevens | Fourth of July April Base Version

who: cole & @joycefm​​

where: the byers residence

I know the timing isn’t great, but I just wanted to let you know... No. I just wanted to run this by you... Still no. I hope Will’s okay and also I’m his half brother. 

The entire ride to the Byers house, Cole tried to rehearse his opening line. So far, nothing inspiring had come to mind. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous; Joyce had always been kind and everyone in town knew how much he loved her boys. But, Cole wasn’t sure how she’d feel about her ex-husband having another one... who happened to be very close in age to her oldest.

To Cole’s credit, he hadn’t grown up around Lonnie; Maggie was convinced Lonnie didn’t even connect the dots and realize that Cole was his. Fitting. Cole never felt like he was missing out on much, and after his mom told him who his real dad was when he was sixteen, Cole knew for sure he was better off without Lonnie Byers as a father figure. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that Jonathan, Will, and Joyce had to live with the asshole for so long.

Before he knew it, Cole was on the Byers’ front porch, his hand balled in a fist to knock on the door. Now or never. He knocked, stepped back, and pasted a smile on his face when Joyce opened the door. “Hi, Mrs. Byers! Sorry to just barge in... but I was hoping you had a minute?” 

who: Cole & @willthewize​

where: the Byers’ porch!

what: brother reveal (2.0) (semi-sober version)

The day after the Wheeler’s Fourth of July barbecue Cole woke up with a pounding headache and a faint memory of a conversation with Jonathan Byers. But, he’d also woken up in Adam’s arms, and that took precedence. Still, the memory haunted him; Cole couldn’t escape the embarrassment he felt knowing that he’d been noticeably drunk when he told Jonathan they were related. Not his brightest moment. 

In truth, he’d wanted to tell Will first-- he’d even tried before, after the camping trip at the lake, but he was too nervous. Cole figured that it might be an easier pill for Will to swallow, since they weren’t close in age like he and Jonathan. He’d fully intended to tell Will right away, Jonathan’s warning to ‘be careful’ ringing in his ears and convincing him that he needed to tell Will before someone else did. But, then the explosion happened and Cole was in the hospital. 

At this point, he didn’t know what to expect, and he was certainly worse for for the wear: bruises and cuts still healing, arm in a sling, bursts of pain in his torso from the broken ribs, and the ever-present fear that something worse was going to happen. That something worse might cause him to lose Adam again. And if something worse happened and Cole died (physically or otherwise) before he got to talk to Will, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. 

So, he filled up his flask-- only for a few bursts of liquid courage-- and drove over to the Byers’ neighborhood. Only, he couldn’t stop in front of the house. Nervous fingers tapping on the steering wheel, Cole looped around the neighborhood once. Twice. Three times. God, he didn’t have the gas money for that, so he parked about five houses down and got out, careful not to bang his ribs or his arm on the car, and began pacing. 

About a half hour passed, accompanied by a few more swigs of the stinging liquid, and the dread didn’t go away. So Cole took a deep breath and approached the house... only to see Will sitting on the porch, sketchbook in hand. Had he seen him the whole time? An embarrassed flush gathered on Cole’s cheeks, and he wiped his good hand on his jeans to dispel the sweat that had gathered.

“Hey, man,” Cole greeted, attempting to put on a casual smile. “Got a minute? There’s something I wanna talk to you about,” the words fell out in a jumbled heap, but he was glad he’d said it. That he couldn’t escape from it this time. “I talked to Jonathan a while back and, I just... I thought I should tell you.” Cole studied his sling, picking at the fabric fraying on the edge. “Lonnie’s my dad, too.” Saying it out loud, without copious amounts of beer to numb the feeling, left Cole feeling like he’d ripped a bandaid off. He was exposed, bare, vulnerable to whatever Will’s response would be. He wished desperately that he remembered what Jonathan had said, if only to have some litmus for how this would go.

chancecunningham​:

🍻

“in your dreams, player,” chance said with a light scoff as he plopped down into the visitor’s chair and loosely joined his hands in his lap. he took a second to inspect his classmate. cole looked pretty banged up…like aside from steve, he’d maybe gotten the worst  but still, despite being tattered and broken, cole maintained his attitude. “your sense of humor sucks. even on your…” death bed. his words trailed off before he delivered his own shitty punchline, figuring cole didn’t need to be verbally reminded of his injuries. 

chance waved off what he was going to say and quickly shifted gears to what he’d actually come to discuss once he got the okay from cole to talk. “i know you’re probably sick of hearing about this shit,” he began, clearing his throat as he leaned forward so he could be closer to cole and therefore keep his voice low, “but at the carnival…you said…something about adam dying…” a beat, “again.” 

out of all the people chance had spoken to since his sister and best friend came back from the dead, cole was the only one that had ever corroborated his reality. “did you mean like…literally?” chance asked, anxiously fidgeting with the bandage above his eye brow, “because….i….no one else remembers…except you.”

leaning back in his chair again, chance closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “i know i sound fucking crazy,” he breathed out as he shook his head slightly, “but i don’t know who else to talk to about this…my mom says it’s the devil in my fucking brain…nobody wants to hear it.” he opened his eyes slightly and peeked at cole through his lashes, “but i know this forest commune thing is bullshit…right?”

xx.

For a brief moment, Cole panicked at Chance’s use of the word ‘player.’ What did he know? Who had told him? But when the other moved on as if it was nothing, he figured it was just Chance being stupid. Cole traded grim smiles with his sort-of friend. “Death bed?” he finished for him. Truly, Cole knew he could’ve died, but it didn’t scare him like it probably should. The realization pulled his lips taut in a grim line and he felt a burning in his throat that only an ice-cold beer could soothe.

Cole wanted to flinch when Chance leaned towards him, an old habit, but he remained still, stoic. He remembered exactly what Chance was talking about-- the moment Adam’s eyes lost their shine, when he looked like he did before. For a moment, he entertained the thought of denying it, telling Chance he was being crazy. But, Chance was Adam’s best friend. He deserved to know, too.

Before he could explain, Chance’s nerves played out before him, and guilt settled within Cole’s chest at not having told him the truth before now. “Literally,” he confirmed, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “Yeah. He died, dude. And everyone knew that until... until he came back.” Cole remembered the funeral, remembered clasping Beth’s hand so tight she winced, remembered seeing Chance slip in the back with what he suspected was a flask in his suit jacket.

The cocktail of guilt and fear wrapped its fingers around Cole’s throat for a moment, forcing him into silence.  He lifted his eyes to Chance’s with a grimace and shook his head. “You’re not... crazy. I thought--” he paused, shaking his head at how stupid he’d been. “I thought if I didn’t ask questions about how he came back, it would be like before. I didn’t think... this would happen.” Running a hand through his matted curls, Cole sighed. “I’m sorry I never told you.”  He kept his head angled low, at his hands, to avoid Chance’s gaze.

After several days too long stuck to the hospital bed, Cole was thrilled to be home, to have a change of scenery. He was still bedridden for the most part; the three broken ribs made it difficult to walk still, but his daily trek downstairs to the family room and then back upstairs to the bedroom felt better than sharing a 4x4 room with Steve Harrington. No offense to Steve, but he snored. Or maybe it was Eddie. Either way, being home alone and lounging on the living room couch was ideal. Adam had left an hour ago, promising to be back soon, and Cole was half sleeping half watching whatever stupid Western was on at 1p.m.

When Beth walked in, Cole smiled up at her. It was funny, the ways all the people closest to him entered his house: Adam and Chrissy with a polite knock, Beth breezing through the door, Max scaling the side of the house. “Thought you were my mom,” he remarked before studying the options she’d brought over. “I don’t know... should we try something new?” Cole grabbed the tape from Beth’s hand and held it up with a teasing smile. “Yeah. Hairspray. He’s hot, remind me of Adam,” he winked. It was fun to be able to tease Beth about him and Adam again, like he used to before. And it was nice to hang out without one or both of them breaking down into tears. “I think we need popcorn, though. There’s some in the pantry, if you don’t mind,” he asked, giving her his best pleading eyes. 

WHO: beth richards & @loverboymontgomery​ WHERE: the montgomery house

There was nothing more that Beth hated than feeling useless. It was exactly how she felt for most of the time when Cole was in the hospital: Adam was there to hold his hand, and she was left to provide not much more than moral support and the occasional errand. She hadn’t even been with Cole and Adam when the explosion went off; she was with Cindy and their parents, distracting them while her favorite couple in the world spent some much-needed what was supposed to be care-free time together. Now that Cole was home, though, Beth had ordered Adam to sleep, something that he hadn’t done in days, while she ran over to Family Video and then the Montgomery household to keep Cole company. 

After three years of just Beth and Cole, Cole and Beth, it was strange to not just spend time the two of them anymore. She wasn’t complaining: having Adam back was all they’d wished for and more since he died. What she missed now, though, were the late nights that she and Cole spent up watching the latest movie on tape, early mornings at the diner when they simply hadn’t slept at all. Now, at any opportunity to try and relive just that, she jumped at it. Beth let herself into the house, Maggie more of a surrogate mother to her now than Ms. Montgomery, and headed toward the family room, where Cole had been set up with the television on loop. “Alright, I’ve got lots of options. Dirty Dancing, which, I know we’ve seen a bunch since it came out, but I think it’s becoming a comfort of mine. Or, hear me out, Hairspray. Just came out on tape, Steve Harrington said I came by just as Karen Wheeler dropped it off.”

mmuscles​:

thad refused to meet cole’s eyes as they got into boyfriend talk. sure, cool, they were a couple or whatever, but he didn’t want to hear about it. it had been so deeply conditioned within him that what cole was…boasting about was wrong. maybe it was right for other people, but not for thad, not in this lifetime. the whole conversation confused thad to the point he regretted even asking, so he put on his best sour expression and stared at the car. his hands were numb and he had to take another large gulp of beer before he got back to work on this piece of shit car.  “whatever man,” he shook his head, “i’m not gonna go tattle to the first person i see, don’t flatter yourself.” thad huffed, insisting cole and now adam didn’t take up nearly as much space in his mind as they did. 

“everyone keeps talking about being gone…” thad started, no acutely aware that he couldn’t stand to talk about cole or adam any longer, otherwise this job wasn’t getting done. “but where did they go, like, study abroad? vacation? i don’t get it.” he didn’t read the papers or keep up with the times. as far as thad was concerned, he kind of lived in his own little bubble amidst the chaos that descended upon hawkins. it was one of many things he remained blissfully unaware of. 

xx.

Thad clearly didn’t want to talk about it. And that was fine, it’s not like Cole wanted to get into details... but he felt a sense of relief that Thad knew, if only so that what had happened before wouldn’t happen again. It was easier, anyways, to fall into the bickering back-and-forth with Thad; avoid the real stuff. “Whatever,” he echoed Thad’s tone. “I know you’re obsessed with me,” he laughed, to make it obvious he was joking.

Cole felt his stomach sink at Thad’s question. Of course Thad Bradshaw didn’t know what was going on in Hawkins, if Cole barely knew himself. “They were... off in this... group. In the forest. Like, a commune?” Cole said, trying and failing to infuse certainty into his tone. “It’s weird, but a bunch of them did it. Guess they had enough of the bullshit. Anyway, you can read about it in the paper. Assuming you can read,” he tacked on the end, hoping to piss Thad off enough to distract him from the ‘commune’ nonsense. 

mmuscles​:

.

thad hadn’t come to cole for some bullshit heart to heart, he came to level with him. considering what a pain in the ass he had been for the duration of their prior interactions, he was kicked off guard when cole was so…cool about it. he didn’t understand. and most definitely thought it was a trick. “i’m not bribing you, man.” thad ran a contemplative hand through his hair. there was no way he was trusting a guy he just met with a secret this big. “let me fix the car.” it obviously wasn’t out of kindness, but he didn’t have the words to explain what he was trying to do here. the way his brain worked though, was if he actually did something for cole, he’d feel less inclined to spill. thad merely hoped if he pushed enough, rather than articulate, cole would surrender. other than through his parents, that was how thad got most things he wanted in life, through brute force. 

for the record, it’s okay to feel that way. 

thad’s tongue got stuck at the front of his mouth and he gulped down his initial thoughts. how dare he? he didn’t feel any way. not him, not towards cole. “what way?” he asked, aggressively jutting his chin out towards cole. he wasn’t going to hit him or anything, but scaring him wasn’t out of the question. the last thing he needed was some…pretty boy telling him how to feel. 

xx.

It was a good deal... a $3,000 worth of a repair for his silence. But Cole felt weird blatantly accepting it as a bribe, as if what had happened was gross or wrong. It was unexpected, sure, but... Cole had asked for it, hadn’t he? He assumed Thad was just very confused. Either that or Thad had a major lapse in judgement and now thinks Cole is wrong, sinful, a freak, even. With a tentative shrug, Cole gave in. “Okay, fine. Guess I won’t get a better deal than that.”

Cole was torn. He wanted to push the issue, to prove to Thad that there really is nothing wrong with liking guys... but that put him, and by association, Adam, in an extremely vulnerable position. At least with he kiss, the two were on equal footing. Leaning away from the discomfort, Cole decided to lighten the mood. “I guess I have to hope you’re good with your hands, guy,” he smirked. The usual back-and-forth of their interactions was a welcome reprieve from the temporary heaviness. 

cassieconrads​:

Cassie picked up a tape, putting it back carefully where she’d found it. The last thing she wanted to do was make more work for Cole, who seemed to be alone in the store at the moment. Still, she couldn’t help but lower her voice. “I don’t know, what I saw at the cemetery, I keep seeing it when I try to sleep. It’s like a dream, but honestly, probably more like a nightmare.” Maybe Cole had something like that going on for him, too. It was all she could hope to confirm that she wasn’t insane.

“Did you–did something like that happen to you, too? I think it was … it started raining, right? I think it was before that, but everything is so hard to remember,” she said, frustrated. “Did we really drink that much? I didn’t think we did, but this feels like the worst blackout of my life, and you can ask Nancy, there have been quite a few of those.”

xx.

Cole nodded along as she spoke, focusing his eyes on the records in front of him. He didn’t want her to see how unsettling her response was; he didn’t want to think about what it meant if other people saw scary shit, too. Stealing a glance at Cassie’s face, Cole frowned.

“I don’t know. I thought it was because I hit my head,” he confessed, flipping a cassette tape over in his hands, trying to keep his mind occupied. “But mine felt like a dream, too. Only... a really real one.”