TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET As HARRY STYLES On SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

adam jacob richards & walden cole montgomery

“he was my north, my south, my east and west, my working week and my sunday rest, my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; i thought that love would last for ever: i was wrong.”

― w.h. auden, stop all the clocks

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Adonis, tr. by Khaled Mattawa, Selected Poems

Cole didn’t know Eleven particularly well. He knew of her, because, well, who didn’t? But they hadn’t spent too much time together. He knew she was a survivor of the mall fire, and he could imagine that she was feeling even more uncomfortable than he was. And, like him, it seemed she had been hitting the keg pretty hard.

“Hey, El,” he put out a hand to stabilize her, plucking the cup out of her hand so she didn’t spill more. “You were looking for me, huh?” he chuckled. “Anything in particular I can do for you?” he asked, putting her cup to the side and glancing around the foyer. He knew Max and El were close, maybe he needed to have a backup plan in case El was really not okay to be here. 

WHERE ; Blue Quarry Mall Protest

WHO ; Cole &. El

To say El was lost - happened to be an understatement. Her first time at StarCourt was it’s own experience but now… this was frustrating. “ Have you… ? “ trying to speak over the constant beat from the ‘ boombox ‘. Maybe that fifth red solo cup should’ve been enough. Now fully aware the appeal of this ‘ liquid fuel ‘ being passed around. Stumbling mildly, eyes trying to focus on something other than bodies swarming around them.

Pushing through the crowd, the distinctly sweet scent of the beer spilling over herself and the other. “ Sorry! “ El’s apology rushed with the sudden movements of trying to keep the liquid in the cup. Desperately failing. Finally peeking around for an escape, rushing towards a familiar face through blurry eyes. “ Hey! “ practically shoving as she approached. “ I’ve been looking all over for you! “

In an attempt to stay out of the house and out of his mother’s sight until the car was fixed, Cole had been skating new routes all over Hawkins. Normally, he wouldn’t be caught in the park, as the lake was much more his speed, but it was paved and that was an easier terrain for skating. He’d tucked a book in his back pocket-- the new Stephen King novel-- just in case he found the perfectly shady spot to lounge in.

He was absentmindedly humming a Steely Dan song when he heard his name. Cole looked up to see Nancy waving at him. Picking up his skateboard, he made his way over to her and smiled at her spread. Classic Nancy, always prepared. “Hey Nance!” he said, sitting down on the edge of her blanket. He lifted his finger for inspection, “Honestly, it’s fine. I think the doctor was just being dramatic with his two-weeks-in-the-cast orders. The car on the other hand...” He sighed, leaning back on his good hand. With a smile, he took the extra sandwich from her; now that he thought about it, he hadn’t eaten today. “Thanks. Hey, were you a girl scout or something? Seems like you’re always prepared,” he mused, peeling back the cling wrap and taking a bite. “It’s really good,” he said, mouth full. 

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Nancy Wheeler & @colemontgomeryx​​​​​

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓: Benny’s might be closed but at least Nancy makes a mean chicken salad sammy!

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: Hawkins Community Park

Nancy’s-No-Good-Summer had been going off on a… decent start. Hawkins wasn’t some beach town, they weren’t known for anything other than weird happenings, but at least they had warm weather. That was something to look forward to. Maybe she wouldn’t have sand between her toes, but at least she’d have the sun on her skin. Nancy laid out a blanket underneath her and relaxed on it, keeping an eye on Holly as she played on the nearby playground. 

Holding onto her new copy of The Silence of the Lambs, a book that had practically just hit shelves, she spotted someone out of the corner of her peripheral. “Cole!” She announced, waving him over to her sanctuary. She closed her book and sat it on the blanket. “How’s your finger?” Nancy asked, pointing at his hand. The night at the mall had been an eventful one, namely Max’s arrest and Cole’s wrecked car and finger. “Are you hungry? I packed extra chicken salad. I was going to try and rope Mike into coming with me but he’s…” she glanced around, reaching into the lunchbox she brought. “Anywhere but here.”

zccming​:

.

“the grave had nothing to do with me.” max reminded cole. she wouldn’t try too hard to defend the idea she wouldn’t yell at him for using sign language too loud, or that she hadn’t indirectly been the cause of his broken finger, so she’d settle with acknowledging the one thing she could deny. while it was evident that cole was joking, she couldn’t seem to pick up the pace and get into the mood. instead, her voice came out as a surprising lecture, “you and lucas need to be careful. seriously.” the heeding was unexpected, but sincere. since childhood, max felt like her life was moving in a rapid, downward spiral. she didn’t want to think about how much worse it could get if anything happened to lucas or cole. her concern and care wasn’t often displayed so openly, but in this moment, she locked eyes with cole, expressing the full force of her love.

“lots?” max laughed in his face, shaking off the seriousness of the prior conversation. “fine. name five. go.” she demanded, a smile ghosting across her features. she wasn’t sure if cole could give her a genuine answer, but whatever he came up with was sure to ease the mood towards normalcy. 

still, max couldn’t find herself fully present. not about adam, not about cole’s smile. he didn’t know just how bad things could get around here and she hoped it would stay that way. she wouldn’t burden him with her feelings about billy or urge him to be more skeptical about adam. it was like interacting with a child who hadn’t been able to comprehend what atrocities their parent had just watched on the seven o’clock news. max could tack a lot of adjectives to cole’s name, but she never thought she’d use innocent. 

with the flick of her cigarette, she shrugged at cole when he dug a little deeper about billy. “i’m wondering the same thing.” vague as ever she took another drag and stared off into the night. max hoped if they left it at that though, maybe he’d understand a flash of her misery and leave it be. if there was anyone she felt she could allow herself to be miserable with, it was cole. god knows it was one of the foundations of their friendship. wanting to show she had been listening to him too, she asked, “what about adam? how’s…that?”

then of course, there was the matter of el and her’s kiss, which was an entirely different layer of stress. “well, not like i hoped.” the kiss itself had been good, really good. so good it scared her. but the events that followed tainted the memory, “she like, ran away from me.” max sighed, “i guess i must’ve been bad or whatever.” she joked wryly, gaze falling to the blooming cherry on the end of her cigarette. “i think she might hate me.” she truthfully didn’t know and she wasn’t sure what she was seeking to gain by sharing this with cole, but the more they talked about it, she thought maybe she merely wanted to share. 

frustrated with her own moping, she shifted gears and asked cole, “so what are we getting up to tonight?” implying, im not feeling up to sleep. 

xx.

“I didn’t claim it did,” He corrected, though he was teasing. For all of his young life, Cole had desperately wanted a sibling; someone to talk to when he was home all day. Max had filled that void in a lot of ways-- she was always around, it seemed, and always ready to argue with him. Except today. Today her concern for him, the affection she usually buried way down deep, was on the surface. “Yeah, I’ll be more careful. Promise,” he said, her expression reason enough to save his snarky response for another time. Cole reached over and squeezed her knee, perhaps the only display of affection he could give without fear of being hit. 

Cole smirked, took a drag of his cigarette, and shrugged. “This stays between us,” he said, an air of faux-seriousness glancing over his features. “But... I have it on good authority that Steve, Eddie and Adam think I’m pretty irresistible,” he paused, not meeting her eyes for the next confession. “Also... Nancy’s boyfriend. And this guy Luke from college.” He couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. He and Adam hadn’t talked about it yet, but Cole hoped he wouldn’t be hurt. He’d thought Adam was dead after all, surely that gave him the right to at least try and move on? And it’s not like any of these flings compared to what he and Adam had, what they would always have. “I know that I can trust that this will stay between us,” Cole reminded Max, raising an eyebrow. The last thing he needed was to be the person who had outed Steve or Eddie or, worse, Thad. 

Settling back into a relaxed position, Cole watched Max’s face out of the corner of his eye. At once, he knew that her feelings about Billy returning were the exact opposite from his feelings about Adam being back. Warranted, based on what he knew about Billy. It felt strange; for once, Max’s misery was something Cole didn’t share. Not that he couldn’t relate, but he couldn’t commiserate like usual. He felt a pang of guilt, not wanting her to feel alone with him. “I know you’re not asking for an apology, but... I am sorry about Billy. Where is he living?” Cole asked, worried about the answer.

Cole couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth in response to Max’s question. It really was insufferable how in love he was, but he tried to tone it down-- it felt inappropriate to be over-the-top right now. “It’s been really good. Obviously really confusing... But I’m trying not to focus on that. Maybe that’s dumb, given everything, but...” Cole shrugged. If anyone would understand, he figured it would be Max. At least, she would try to understand. 

God, Cole desperately wished Max could say that the kiss was everything she’d wanted, that it had been received well. He wished Max could catch a break. Breathing out a cloud of smoke, Cole was reminded of his experience with Thad. How Thad had kissed him and run, and the look in his eyes when he left; anger, sure, but beyond that, it was fear. “I don’t think she hates you,” Cole said. “Maybe she’s scared,” he offered, his voice soft. “Maybe... she didn’t know what it meant and it was easier to run from it right now. Not everyone can be as self aware and well-adjusted as us,” Cole added with a joking smile. He shrugged and lifted his cigarette to his lips, as if to say we don’t have to talk about it. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Cole jumped to his feet and stuck his hand out for Max. “I don’t know... wanna break into Melvald’s?” He smiled mischievously, remembering their Memorial Day antics. “Unless you have a better idea.”

“elio elio elio elio elio elio elio”

backtowheeler​:

— ✎ —

“It’s pathetic, isn’t it?” Nancy smiled, knowing how idiotic she sounded. Even when her and Steve first broke up, she swore to herself that she wouldn’t jump into another relationship. It didn’t do her any good the first time… or the second time. Third time’s a charm though, right? “But he’s better than you’d think,” she lied. Thad was just as typical as anyone would expect a guy named Thad would be. Nancy wasn’t particularly fond of him, but for her senior year? She could put up with him. Or maybe she’d get hit with the Wheeler curse and marry him, pop out a few kids, and stay unhappy until death.

Nancy let out a sigh, finishing off her beer. “I’m tired of talking about me,” she groaned, turning to Cole. “Top me off and tell me all things Cole?” She wiggled her cup in front of him, a grin on her face. 

xx.

Suddenly Cole felt bad for his relentless teasing of Nancy. Certainly, she was an adult and could make her own decisions about who to date, even if Cole suspected he was an asswipe. “Hey, if you’re happy, don’t listen to me,” he offered her an apologetic smile. “And if you’re not... well, send me a postcard from the Hamptons.” 

Cole’s grin matched hers, and he took her cup with a bow. “As you wish, m’lady.” He turned on his heel and dutifully retrieved two new beers. Pouring one into the cup, he chewed on his cheek. All things Cole. “Hmm. What’s there to say? Still studying lit, still sure I’ll be unemployed come graduation,” he shrugged, taking a swig of his beer. “Tell me, how does one figure out what to do with their life?”

stevehharringtcns​:

.

steve couldn’t blame cole for what he was saying. he would have probably done the same if he hadn’t been a swimmer during high school, knowing that he just couldn’t stop swimming. but even then, he preferred using the public pool rather than his own pool. “right… that makes sense. you know, i haven’t really been able to use my pool after…” he said, narrowing his eyes as he tried to remember. he didn’t remember, but he knew that he had associated a bad memory to his pool, even if he couldn’t remember exactly what it was. “you know what, i don’t even know… it’s just that my pool kind of gives me the creeps and i don’t like being near that much. but it’s kind of hard to ignore it.” he said with a small shrug of his shoulders, pursing his lips as he looked at cole.

steve couldn’t remember the last time he had liked someone this much. obviously, he had liked nancy a lot, but those feelings eventually had faded away. and there was always his crush he had on robin, but that had been cut short, obviously. he looked over at cole, nodding his head slowly, but frowning slightly when cole said that eddie didn’t like girls. “right, right… but, even if he doesn’t like nancy.” he said, letting out a sigh. “what if he liked… you know, chrissy? the two were seen together a lot before she… disappeared or whatever. you can’t tell me that they weren’t like… into each other, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at his own question. steve wondered if eddie would be dating chrissy if she hadn’t disappeared, but he decided to not think about it that much.

listening to cole talk made steve a little more relaxed. it didn’t fix how he was feeling, but it definitely gave him some more comfort, knowing that he wasn’t alone in this situation. he would never have thought that when they made out in the back of his car, that this is how they would end up - with steve asking cole for advice. “thank you, cole… that’s really cool of you.” he said, nodding his head with a smile. “i should talk to him about this, but i don’t want him to get scared or anything. plus, i’m not sure if the whole talk about… wanting a family and six kids will work on eddie.” he said, sighing.

xx.

Cole studied Steve’s face as he spoke, trying to determine whether or not Harrington was pulling his leg. But his confusion seemed genuine, which maybe... was worse. Cole finished off the beer Steve had originally handed him and slipped into the kitchen, grabbing two more from the fridge and presenting one to Steve. “Cheers to never swimming again,” he said with a smirk. Maybe this was his gift, making light of really terrifying shit.

He couldn’t hold back his laugh when Steve mentioned Chrissy. Quickly, he explained so Steve wouldn’t think he was laughing at him. “Sorry. I just... Chrissy covered for me and Adam a lot back in high school.” It was funny to think of her, perfect Christian Chrissy Cunningham, being part of yet another scheme to cover for two guys. “To be honest, Harrington? I’m sure Eddie likes you. You don’t just look at a guy like that unless you want to jump his bones.” Cole didn’t elaborate on how he knew that look from Eddie; it wasn’t relevant, especially with the state Steve was in. 

Cole took a sip of his beer to hide his smile. It was surreal; at first, Cole was sure what happened between him and Steve was a one-off, just a jock experimenting. And honestly, Cole hadn’t expected it to ever come up again, but he was sort of glad it did. At least so that they could be friends... or something. “No problem, seriously. I get it.” He chuckled at Steve’s thought process. “Don’t you both like... kind of already have six kids? With the DnD club and all?” he teased. Cole swirled the beer around in the bottle, giving Steve a one-shoulder shrug. “It’s a scary conversation, but maybe what’s scarier is not having it at all.” Jesus, he needed a blunt. If only he could take his own advice. 

where: blue quarry mall 

who: cole + max

@zccming​

Although Cole had thrown himself headfirst into this protest/party/whatever-the-fuck-it-was, he was unsure. Incredibly unsure. He hadn’t been back to Starcourt since before the fire; it was hard enough to see reminders of Adam at the high school and the Music Center and his parents house and every goddamn place he looked. So now, being in the mall, everything felt... surreal. He knew it was illogical, but Cole couldn’t help the guilt creeping into his chest, the feeling that maybe, if he had been here, he could have saved Adam. 

Cole leaned over, his lips pressed into a grim line, and filled up his cup for the... fourth or fifth time. Lifting the plastic to his lips, Cole glanced up to see none other than Max Mayfield coming his way. He quickly pasted on a smile and handed her a fresh cup. “How dare you think I forgot cups,” he scoffed, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Help yourself.” 

backtowheeler​:

— ✎ —

Nancy made room on the blanket by scooting over just a tad more, ensuring that she wasn’t hogging all of the space from Cole. “Not great, huh?” She scrunched her nose, the corners of her mouth turning up as she thought back to the night at the mall. Cole had bravely crashed his car to distract them into getting Max, which didn’t end up helping in the long run since Max had to stay in their jail for a night anyway. “I’m sorry you did that for nothing,” she apologized, as if she had been the one to tell him to wreck it or had caused it herself.

“How did you know?” Nancy asked, bemused that Cole could even clock that. She wasn’t a girl scout for long, but Karen Wheeler had forced her into it for a few years until Nancy ultimately fought her long enough to quit. “Did it until 7th grade,” she admitted, pulling out another sandwich for herself. Although Nancy would chalk up her knowledge of being prepared to her intrepid sense as a journalist or the over preparedness of a girl that got roped into saving the world on multiple occasions. “It’s a Karen Wheeler specialty. I’m surprised she even gave me the recipe,” she explained, taking a bite from the sandwich.

“So, two weeks? I mean, was it even broken?” She asked, suddenly interested by his injury. “I’m pretty sure I just taped mine once and I lived,” granted, it’s harder to go to a doctor if you sustain injuries from an outside force.

xx.

“Let’s just say Maggie Montgomery is not very thrilled with me right now,” Cole laughed. His mom was strange; she wouldn’t come out and say that she was upset with him or even that she didn’t believe the road rage story, but he could tell. Cole shook his head, dismissing Nancy’s comment. “It was my pea-brained idea. Why I was even driving after combining weed and alcohol, I don’t know,” he laughed. There was no sense in being upset about something that had already happened. 

Cole grinned as Nancy confirmed his suspicion. “Guess you’re not the only sleuth in town, Nancy Drew,” he quipped. Part of him had always been jealous of Nancy’s certainty-- the fact that she seemed to know exactly what she was doing and what role she would play in every situation. Cole, on the other hand, was existing almost entirely off of guess work; he picked Literature as his focus because he was good at it, he got a job at the Music Center because it sounded easy, he came back to Hawkins for the summer because he didn’t want to be alone in a college town. No strategy, no certainty. He used to know what he wanted, but with that gone... he pushed the thoughts away and took another bite of the sandwich. “Karen Wheeler can make a damn good sandwich,” he declared.

Shrugging, Cole slipped off the finger brace the doctor had given him. “He said it was fractured. It’s really not even that bad-- it’s just annoying. Honeslty, I keep wearing the brace because I don’t want to fuck it up and have to change the way I play piano.” He set the brace aside, letting his sad little finger breathe for a moment. “But enough about me. What’s going on in the Wheeler household? Any big summer plans?”