Who: Cole & @dvstybuns

joycefm​:

    “cole!!”  a  smile  rests  on  her  face  as  she  greets  the  other,  hiding  anything  that  resembled  surprise.  she  definitely  hadn’t  been  expecting  the  other  but  there  had  always  been  something  about  cole  that  felt  so  familiar.  maybe  because  they  simply  fit  into  hawkins  so  well  -  or  because  he  simply  got  along  with  her  boys  so  well..  she  wasn’t  exactly  sure.  but  she  extended  her  kindness  to  everyone  across  town  unless  they  gave  her  reason  not  to.  

    brows  raise  at  his  words  but  yet  she  doesn’t  hesitate  to  open  her  door  further,  welcoming  him  in.  “i  have  all  the  time  in  the  world  -  i  bought  some  fresh  fruit  so  come  on  in.”  she’s  already  moving  to  grab  the  other  a  bowl,  placing  it  on  the  kitchen  table  and  moving  immediately  to  the  refrigerator  to  grab  some  grapes.  "talk  to  me  -  what’s  on  your  mind?”

If Joyce was surprised, she certainly didn’t show it, which put Cole at ease. He supposed she was relatively used to all the youth of Hawkins showing up unannounced, but for Cole this was a first. Following Joyce to the kitchen, Cole tapped his fingers nervously on his legs. He smiled at her as she handed him a bowl and plopped grapes into it. “Thank you, you didn’t have to,” he said, though he bit down on a grape.

What’s on your mind? 

A lot, actually, but in the moment Cole was focused on his timing. Was this the right time? Was there ever a right time to say what he was going to say? He decided to just be honest. Five years late, maybe, but nonetheless. “I don’t really have like... a tactful way to say this?” Cole explained, with an apologetic smile. “Lonnie Byers was my dad. Or, is. But we don’t talk or anything. I’ve never met him.” Realizing that his sentences were running into each other, Cole took a breath, popped another grape into his mouth. “Um. My mom... Maggie, you might know her from school... she told me a few years back and I just didn’t know if I wanted to say anything? I don’t want to complicate your life, or Will’s or Jonathan’s, but...” He didn’t know how exactly to express what he’d been feeling for his whole life: the desire for a family, to come home to a house teeming with life, to not be so... alone in the world. 

stevehharringtcns​:

.

everything had been such a blur and happened so fast that steve wasn’t sure what had happened anymore. he thought if some parts of it had been his imagination, but… he had definitely gotten into a fight with both jack and adam, but only he had come out injured. which was weird to think about, because he had definitely thrown around a couple of punches and he remembered quite well hitting jack in the face and then immediately feeling the pain in his face. he wasn’t sure how that had worked, but he wouldn’t be the one to figure out either. not while he was recovering, he thought to himself.

he looked over at adam for a couple of moments, pursing his lips as he did. he knew that he wouldn’t do anything like he had done at the carnival, he was hoping that whatever had happened had been a one time thing, which he doubted. but he wasn’t about to go around doubting everything that adam did. it just wouldn’t be cool of him to do so, and adam was a good friend to him when he wasn’t puking out some black goo and attacking him.

letting out yet another chuckle, immediately wincing at the pain that it caused, steve shook his head. “listen, i’ll ask the nurses to bring some more for you.” he said, nodding his head slowly when he heard cole talking about eddie. sighing, steve nodded again. “yeah, they… they arrested him. which was stupid because eddie would never do anything to hurt anyone. they were just trying to find a way to get him arrested for… the shit that happened two years ago.” he said, shaking his head, clearly still angry that someone would just do that for fun. he hated everyone who had been part of arresting eddie. “we’ll all be okay… eventually.” he nodded, letting out a sigh. at least he hoped that they would be.

at the question, steve just shrugged his shoulders. he hoped that he would have all of the answers to give to cole. he hated that he had been dragged into this, just like everyone he knew had been dragged. he hated that something was back and that they couldn’t do anything about it. “i don’t know… i really don’t know. i would try asking nancy, she’s… she’s the whole brains of the group. i’m sure she knows something by now.” he said, not knowing if it was true or not, but considering their last encounters with something supernatural, nancy was always the one to figure it out.

xx.

Cole tried, desperately, to read Steve’s expression when the others’ eyes fell on  Adam. Right now, in the hospital room, Adam was the least threatening presence-- his arm snaked around Cole’s fingers, intertwined, dirty blond hair rising and falling with his breaths. But Cole and Steve both knew what he was capable of when he wasn’t in control, and it was something Cole had begun to fear. What would others say or do to Adam now? And could Cole protect him? From others, from whatever was causing the blackouts? 

He trusted Steve to be fair and kind, he had no reason not to. Since Steve had stopped hanging out with Tommy H and Carol, Cole had seen another side of him-- from afar-- a more sensitive and caring Steve Harrington. And after everything that had happened between the two of them, Cole hoped that Steve’s goodwill could extend to Adam, too. 

Cole smiled, relieved that Steve’s comment pulled him out of his head, at least for the time being. “Yeah, bat your pretty eyes at them and get them to bring extra, while you’re at it,” he joked. It felt nice, even normal for a minute, until Steve told him about Eddie. Cole’s frown pulled his eyebrows together. “No, he wouldn’t. That’s bullshit,” his voice raised, which hurt his throat. “I can’t believe they’re holding onto that, with... Chrissy back.” Steve’s sigh seemed more hopeful than it was convincing, but Cole decided to let it slide. Positivity, however forced, wasn’t bad for them at the moment.

He nodded, then frowned when he remembered that Nancy was in the hospital, too. He wasn’t surprised, really, that she was the brains. It made him feel even a little confident that whatever this was could be stopped, with Nancy at the helm. “Is she doing okay? Have you heard?” Cole asked, worry creasing his brow. He leaned back in his bed for a minute and studied his and Adam’s hands, how they’d always fit together so naturally. Cautiously, he glanced back up at Steve. “You know that that wasn’t him, right? He would never... he doesn’t hurt people.” Cole’s eyes betrayed his desperation for someone to believe it, for someone to be on their side.

eddiemcnson​:

+++

shit. shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. he should’ve known, should’ve known that this was a bad idea, should’ve known better than to ask a current resident of hicksville, indiana if he was flagging. stupid, stupid, god, what had he been thinking? nothing, apparently, and now his mind was wiped empty once more as he stared at cole blinking at him in confusion - and, what was that, curiosity? - as eddie scrambled for something to say. he cleared his throat. 

“never….mind.”, he said slowly, cautiously, tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth. shit. eddie shook his head. “nothing, nothing. i just thought -” oh my god, munson, shut the fuck up. “i just - “ no matter how hard he tried to stop himself the words now fell freely from his lips. “well, i wondered if you…well, do you know someone named - “ if he didn’t stop talking right then and there he was going to explode. well, spontaneous human combustion it was, as he simply carried on. “are you…perhaps a friend of, uh. of dorothy’s ? “ a beat passed, eddie sucked on his bottem lip nerverously. he waved it off. “you know what….nevermind. nothing. it was stupid.”

he flashed him a pained grin, nodded, ‘right, then’,  and turned on his heel. already squeezing his eyes shut because oh, the embarassment now creeped up on him, made his cheeks flush. at the last minute he decided to turn back, walk back to cole. “can i bum a cig off you?” please, please, heaven, god, if there is one - eddie thought to himself as he stared at cole expectantly -  please just don’t let him bring it up again.

xx.

Cole’s eyes sparkled with amusement and curiosity as he searched his brain. Dorothy? Flagging? What was Eddie trying to ask him? And why was he speaking in this obscure code? At first, Cole wondered if it was a DnD thing, but then realization hit when Cole spotted a bandana in Eddie’s back pocket. He instinctively reached for the bandana he’d tucked in his own pocket and the amusement on his face morphed to something akin to wonder. 

At Eddie’s question, Cole nodded and held out the pack, though his eyes were still glazed over. As Eddie plucked out a cigarette, Cole offered his lighter. He wanted to say something, at least to put Eddie at ease, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to say it out loud. No one knew yet... well, that wasn’t true, because there was Steve and then there was Max. What the hell?

“I am, too,” Cole said, abruptly. He lowered the cigarette from his lips and looked at Eddie, motioning to the flag. For some reason, he felt the urge to prove it. God forbid Eddie thought he was playing a mean prank. “Do you remember Adam Richards? Tall, broad, blonde? He was my... well, you know,” Cole stumbled through his words, feeling his cheeks heat up. He was never this awkward. 

joycefm​:

    hand  freezes  on  the  refrigerator  handle  at  cole’s  words.  again,  she’s  not  surprised  at  all.  lonnie  had  always  tested  joyce’s  trust  -  she  wasn’t  stupid  nor  was  she  blind.  she  saw  how  people  looked  at  him  in  high  school  and  she  chose  to  ignore  it..  simply  because  she  thought  she  was  head  over  heels  in  love.  and  well…  she  definitely  was  at  the  time.  there  was  a  lot  of  love  there  at  one  point  but  the  idea  of  happily  ever  after  with  lonnie  didn’t  last  long  when  she  started  catching  him  out  on  lies,  multiple  fights..  she  could  go  on  and  on.  “i  mean..”  she  started,  a  small  shrugging  following  as  she  moved  back  towards  cole  to  take  a  seat  next  to  the  other.  “i  thought  there’d  be  more  of  you,  honestly.”  there  probably  was.  joyce  knew  well  that  lonnie  was  up  to  no  good  —  it  was  more  surprising  to  her  that  lonnie  had  been  cheating  on  her  way  before  she  picked  up  on  it.

    “it’s  fine,  cole.  you’re  fine.”  it  wasn’t  like  you  could  chose  your  parents  -  lonnie  byers  certainly  shouldn’t  have  been  anyone’s  first  choice.  “he  sucks  even  more  for  not  being  in  your  life..  you’re  a  good  kid.”  it  just  reminded  her  of  will  -  it  wasn’t  like  lonnie  was  around  much  for  him  either.  not  to  mention  the  name  calling  and  the  fights  that  came  along  with  all  that.  “either  way..  i’m  not  surprised  at  all  and  i  promise  you  that  you  aren’t  missing  out  on  anything  with  him.”  hand  reaches  out  towards  his  shoulder,  giving  it  a  small  squeeze.  “but  that  also  means  you’re  family  now.”  joyce  smiles  wide,  looking  for  the  positive  in  the  whole  situation.  “have  you  told  jonathan  and  will?”

Cole kept his eyes trained on Joyce, watching her hand freeze and looking for any indication of what was going on in her head. He’d imagined this moment dozens of time in the last hour, many more in the last five years. He knew he couldn’t expect her to welcome him with open arms; even if she didn’t love Lonnie anymore, Cole’s existence was evidence that Lonnie had been running out on her for a long time. That was enough of a reason to resent someone, in Cole’s mind. When she finally spoke, Cole let out an involuntary sigh of relief. If it weren’t so fucked up, Cole would’ve laughed at her comment-- I thought there’d be more of you. What a fucking asshole. “I know it wasn’t me, but... for what it’s worth, I’m sorry he was such an ass. Sorry that you all had to deal with him.” 

And then, Joyce offered the thing Cole hadn’t dared ask for: acceptance, permission to exist without guilt. He felt pressure behind his eyes and tried to blink it away; he so desperately didn’t want to make this a thing. “Thank you,” he breathed, glistening eyes meeting yours. Cole laughed at himself, swiping at his face, “I don’t know why I’m crying.” But he knew; he had never, in a million years, expected that he’d be welcomed into a family that, for all intents and purposes, wasn’t his. Should have never been his. He never even thought that anyone other than his mother would consider him family or look out for him, and in one single moment he was offered an entire family unit. 

Joyce’s remark shook Cole out of his thoughts. He nodded, readily agreeing that he wasn’t missing out on dad of the year. Eyes dropping to his hands, Cole shook his head. Then, lifting his gaze to meet Joyce’s eyes, he explained: “No.. I wanted to make sure you knew first. And, I guess, ask for your permission?” That sounded weird. “Like... if you didn’t want me to tell them, I don’t have to,” he shrugged. Cole didn’t want to give more detail if he didn’t have to; he knew he had a certain reputation around town, not a bad one, but one that everyone wouldn’t appreciate... and he wasn’t sure how Joyce would feel if he got close to Will and Jonathan and started bringing his ‘best friend’ around. But that felt like a conversation for another day; there was no need to spill every one of his secrets today. 

zccming​:

.

“a shrink.” max echoed with a laugh, “boys are so dramatic.” and it was true, not about his feelings, but for believing there was something wrong with them. big hypocrite thing of her to say, but the rules were different when placed on his shoulders. she didn’t think cole needed a shrink, not for what he had with adam, and not for missing it. sometimes, max felt like grief was her best friend in place of el, so she couldn’t judge how it’s cruelty made anyone feel. but she was high, and she was curious, and it was cole. stuck in her head, max remained laying on her back even when he flipped over, but she still eyed him closely when she spoke, “moving here really sucked for me…” she opened up, something must have been in the air. “and mike and lucas and dustin and will are all really awesome, but it hasn’t always been like that. you know i mean, they’re guys, it’s different. i had to weasel my way into their circle. but then el came along and everything clicked and just like that she was gone again and now she’s back and–” max started feeling like she had never said so many words at once, so she stopped her stoned ramblings, closed her eyes tightly, and forced herself to reset. 

max thought back to the conversation her and cole had at blue quarry mall, how he’d come clean on accident, and how relieved he looked when he had. max wondered what that felt like, to let it all go and free fall for a moment into the arms of someone she trusted. she opened her eyes, then slowly turned onto her side to face cole, “i’ve been really confused about my feelings lately.” she admitted, sure he was familiar with the feeling. “and you’re a shithead but not about this stuff.” max added, then revealed, “i think i’ve always known i’ve liked girls.” the air left her lungs as she waited for a response. thanks to the weed, this revelation didn’t feel so world ending, in fact, max felt calm, ready for cole’s reaction. she was so mellowed in fact, she added, “but with el it’s different…what you said about missing adam… when she was gone, that’s how i felt.” max couldn’t really explain to cole how she spent half the time speculating eleven was dead, but she hoped he could feel her sincerity. stupidly, she concluded, “but i don’t know what that means.” 

xx.

Cole laughed, allowing himself to flop onto his back and stare at the ceiling. Max had a point, but he found that it was easier to joke about the pain than to sit with it. He remembered right after Adam died, when he went to visit Adam’s sisters. He’d snuck into Adam’s room and stolen a few shirts, a photo, random artifacts that proved to him that what they had was real. He thought about that now, wondered if Max felt the same way when El was gone. Cole offered a sad smile, he knew completely how that felt... well, up to the him coming back part. “Honestly? I think some connections are like that. There’s a distinct before and after... people you’ll never be the same after meeting and loving them,” he mused, blowing smoke into the stale air. 

He couldn’t help the smile that took over his face; he was glad Max felt safe enough to tell him the truth. He reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing it to show that he understood. “What’s there to be confused about, then?” he asked, not in a prodding way, but gently. Cole took another drag and passed the joint back. “What do you want it to mean?” he asked, figuring she already knew the answer. Cole tucked a hand behind his head, lost in thought for a moment. “Did I tell you that Adam broke up with me before he died?” He’d been thinking about that a lot lately, about how Adam was completely different the days before the fire; how his eyes were even different, darker somehow. He knew he would never get answers, but he had never shared it with anyone and figured now was as good a time as any.

zccming​:

“yeah, and you were only able to fracture it because i saved your ass first.” max huffed. now she understood how dustin felt all the time, no credit paid where credit was due. it wasn’t like she was expecting to be met with high praises or anything, but she had been anticipating a few more thank yous and a few less lectures. cole, at least, wasn’t going to lecture her. he was only going to be whiny, like always. “i’m surprised it isn’t already healed.” max snickered, then condescendingly sympathized, “must be real bad.” then as he made fun of her request for him quiet down, she smiled mockingly at him, “it’ll be quiet enough when you shut the fuck up.” 

despite the hostile words tossed around, max shuffled over to her dresser, grabbed her baggie, and got to rolling. following the mall, she was relieved to find that things seemed to remain normal between them. there wouldn’t be anything weird from her end, but it made her quietly pleased to see cole stand by his choice to share his truth with her. in time, she’d produced a joint for them. moving mostly in silence, max laid staring at her ceiling as they passed the j back and forth until she was lost in her thoughts, the sounds of the radio, and the bugs chittering outside of her thin walls.

cole had shared with her about adam, and all max could think about was how she couldn’t stop relating it to her feelings about eleven. of course, they had skimmed the surface over the billy of it all, but this was a new, equally difficult, perspective. it was horrible of her, but that didn’t mean anything weird, did it? maybe cole would know… thoroughly baked, max distantly asked, “do you ever think about how el has like, the perfect face?” did he even know what she looked like? “or how she’s like, the perfect girl. or perfect person even. it’s… crazy.” it wasn’t exactly explicitly emotional, but in her altered state, max was holding out hope that cole might just read her mind about what she was trying to convey. “i really missed her.” with even less tact than usual thanks to the weed, max somehow brutal and awkward, prodded at cole, “how does it feel when you think about adam? like …what does missing someone…like that…feel like…to you?” then she rasped, “it’s different from…my experiences.”

xx.

“It is real bad, thanks for your sympathy,” Cole retorted sarcastically, cradling his finger in his other hand. “I can’t play the piano with this shit. What else am I supposed to do at work?” he sighed, though his eyes twinkling with laughter. Cole blew Max a kiss with his good hand, playing along. “What, did you invite me over here to sit quietly in the corner? You got a dunce cap I can wear while I’m at it?” he teased, though he wouldn’t put it past her to actually sit him in the corner with a dunce cap, for the bit.

Cole gratefully took the joint and lifted it to his lips. “Cheers,” he breathed out, releasing a cloud of smoke. He still couldn’t believe he’d come out to Max. He hadn’t regretted it-- the opposite, he felt an ongoing sense of relief-- but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad on edge, waiting for any sign that Max treated him differently. He passed the joint to her and turned onto his side, studying her face. She acted like something was on her mind.

The mystery only lasted a few seconds more, until she started going on about El. Chuckling, Cole took the joint back from her, “I hadn’t really thought about her face. She’s nice enough, but not really my type.” The two grew quiet and Cole dared not vocalize his thoughts, his suspicion that Max maybe liked El as more than a friend. Maybe he was projecting, hoping that she could relate to him in that way. Then, to his surprise, her questions all but confirmed it. He took a drag of the joint, and then another, turning his response over in his head. “Not to be dramatic, but I think it felt like... I was missing part of myself. The part that only he knew, you know?” he looked down at his hands. “It still feels like that. Like I’m a fraud, like everything I do without him is just pretending.” Cole looked back up at Max, wondering, but not wanting to pressure her. “Maybe I need a shrink.”

goldenboyrichards​:

Adam wouldn’t have blamed him if Cole had told him to leave. Because Adam didn’t know what he had or hadn’t done - especially to Cole - but he knew it couldn’t be pretty. He was just so fucking worried that his nightmare really was a memory, that he’d said those things and shoved Cole up against a wall and nearly choked him. He wouldn’t be mad at Cole if he was scared of him, because until Adam got some answers, he was pretty scared of himself.

But his chest ached when Cole called him Sweetheart, voice rough but so Cole. That alone made him want to cry and hold him and tell him that he’d never ever ever want to do something to upset Cole again. And when Cole asked him to sit with him? Adam had no choice but to walk closer, sitting down gently on the edge of the bed, farther away from Cole than he would normally. As much as Adam wanted to seek comfort from his boyfriend, he didn’t want to jostle any of his injuries.

“Are you sure?” Adam asked urgently, blue eyes studying Cole closely. He knew he wasn’t physically okay - he had broken a rib. But how was he handling all of this emotionally? Cole had a tendency to be in denial of things, to want them to be perfect even when everything was falling apart around them. And Adam needed to know that he wasn’t doing that right now. “Baby, you have to tell me if you’re not okay. Please. I can’t,” He took a deep breath, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I can’t handle it if you’re not honest.”

He reflexively tried to reach for the water for Cole, to take care of him without even being asked. But Cole could do it himself. He didn’t need Adam to smother him right now, no matter how much Adam wanted to. He slowly lowered his hands back to his lap, clasping his knees tightly. “Not from the carnival,” Adam admitted sadly, biting his lip. “Just riding the Tunnel of Love, and then I woke up to you being put into an ambulance.” He finally let himself lean a little closer, needing physical contact to ground himself. His hand slipped into Cole’s, squeezing it gently.

Adam hated seeing Cole cry. If he could do something to make it better, to shield him from whatever pain he was facing, he would. Adam would shoulder any burden if it meant keeping Cole happy and healthy and safe. He would do anything in the world that Cole Montgomery asked him to do - something that had been true since they met in early high school. Gently, he leaned forward and wiped away Cole’s tears with his free hand, touch feather light against his skin.

And then Adam’s world collapsed.

“I…what?” He asked, confusion lacing his voice. That didn’t make any sense. He had been possessed? By…by a demon, or something like that? For one gut wrenching moment, Adam worried that maybe this was God’s way of punishing him for being who he was. For who he loved. But Cole called it the Mindflayer, and that didn’t sound like any demon he’d ever heard about in church on Sunday. “So I really died?” Adam begged Cole to lie, to tell him that he was kidding. But something in his eyes said that this was true. He didn’t even try to stop the tears that were flowing down his cheeks now, letting them hit the starched sheets of Cole’s hospital bed.

“What if I am?” He asked, lip trembling at the thought. Adam didn’t want to die. He was still so young - there was so much of the world he wanted to see. He wanted to live with and love Cole for as many years as possible, not die before he’d even turned 25. Right now, he needed to comfort Cole though, and he leaned forward to sob on his shoulder, free hand wrapping around his neck as gently as possible. In the nightmare he’d wanted to do that out of anger, but now the only thing Adam felt for Cole was love. Love and guilt for putting him through this.

“I do remember… something from before. Or maybe it isn’t a memory, maybe it was a - a nightmare, or something,” He rambled, tears continuing to fall as his thumb rubbed over the back of Cole’s neck from the uncomfortable position he was committing to. “I…or, it wasn’t me but it was me. It was my body. I was so mean to you, and I shoved you against a wall and told you to leave me alone. I thought I was going to kill you, Cole. But I…I stopped it. I don’t know what I did, but I stopped it.” Adam told him, sobbing into the space between Cole’s neck and shoulder. Maybe this wasn’t fair - maybe he shouldn’t be acting like this when it was Cole in the hospital, not him. But fuck, Adam needed comfort. Adam needed to know Cole was alive and that they could get through it together. That Cole didn’t hate him or blame him. “I love you.” He whispered when his tears felt like they might begin to subside. “I love you more than anything, Walden.”

xx.

Of course Cole wasn’t okay. How could he be? His broken rib was nothing compared to the way his heart was splintering and cracking with every tear Adam shed. Losing him had been the worst pain Cole had ever felt, but sitting next to him and watching him break was a close second. The confusion and fear in Adam’s eyes, while expected and completely understandable, made Cole want to take it all back-- say it was just a joke-- beg for forgiveness. 

But now, Cole couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t avoid the truth, and Adam wasn’t going to let him avoid his feelings. Since Adam came back, Cole felt like he was walking around with a bomb strapped to his chest-- like it was only a matter of time before he’d be destroyed again. As if he hadn’t cried enough, Cole’s eyes welled up in response to Adam’s urgent tone, the way he was peering into his soul.

“No,” he choked out, wrapping Adam’s hand into both of his. “I thought I was going to lose you again.” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper, and his hot tears fell onto their hands. Saying it out loud took Cole back to that place-- the moment at the carnival when Adam started acting different. The terror in his chest at the thought of attending another funeral for the love of his life. Cole didn’t realize he was having trouble breathing until he felt Adam’s hands on his shoulders, willing Cole’s chest to stop constricting. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life. I can’t do this-- life-- without you... that’s the truth,” he lifted his gaze to Adam’s face and squeezed Adam’s hand tight, as if a tight enough grip would save him.

They shared a contemplative silence, and Adam finally moved closer to Cole. Relieved, he shifted his legs over to give Adam space to occupy, a way to feel his closeness. Cole’s chest felt heavy in an entirely different way than his head; he knew loving someone this completely was the greatest risk he could take. He always knew it would hurt somehow, but never anticipated this-- the way his entire life lost meaning when Adam died. The way he didn’t feel like himself, much less like a person, without Adam Richards to look at him with a knowing smile or wrap him up in a hug or laugh at jokes that went over his head. 

As Adam wiped away Cole’s tears, Cole leaned his head against the other’s hand, held him there for a second. He knew with more certainty than he knew anything else that if, when he met Adam Richards for the first time, he could see the future-- all the love and all the pain-- he would choose him again. 

When Adam started crying, processing the information Cole had dumped on him, Cole instinctively pulled him closer and rubbed circles in his back. He hated that there was nothing he could say to make this better; he hated feeling powerless to help. At Adam’s question, Cole met his eyes and nodded once, confirming Adam’s fears. Cole carded his fingers through Adam’s hair as the other cried into his shoulder. “You won’t. I won’t let anything bad happen,” Cole whispered into his boyfriend’s hair. 

Cole’s stomach dropped; the one thing he wanted to keep from Adam, the moment he wanted to take to the grave, had somehow resurfaced in his memory. For a beat, he considered denying it, but he’d never been able to lie to Adam. Adam always knew. Cole’s hold on Adam tensed and he pressed his lips to Adam’s temple a few times. “I know, baby,” he murmured, “That was before. Right before you died... I know it wasn’t you.” Cole’s eyes welled up at what Adam was saying. “You stopped it from hurting me. You stopped it.”

Gently, Cole cupped Adam’s face and angled him up, so Cole could see him. He couldn’t stop the smile pushing up his lips when Adam called him Walden. In Adam’s eyes, all of Cole’s fear melted into tenderness and he felt his body relax. It was going to be okay. They would get through it together. “I know you do. And I love you more than anything, Adam Richards. I’ll love you forever.” 

mmuscles​:

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thad hadn’t come to cole for some bullshit heart to heart, he came to level with him. considering what a pain in the ass he had been for the duration of their prior interactions, he was kicked off guard when cole was so…cool about it. he didn’t understand. and most definitely thought it was a trick. “i’m not bribing you, man.” thad ran a contemplative hand through his hair. there was no way he was trusting a guy he just met with a secret this big. “let me fix the car.” it obviously wasn’t out of kindness, but he didn’t have the words to explain what he was trying to do here. the way his brain worked though, was if he actually did something for cole, he’d feel less inclined to spill. thad merely hoped if he pushed enough, rather than articulate, cole would surrender. other than through his parents, that was how thad got most things he wanted in life, through brute force. 

for the record, it’s okay to feel that way. 

thad’s tongue got stuck at the front of his mouth and he gulped down his initial thoughts. how dare he? he didn’t feel any way. not him, not towards cole. “what way?” he asked, aggressively jutting his chin out towards cole. he wasn’t going to hit him or anything, but scaring him wasn’t out of the question. the last thing he needed was some…pretty boy telling him how to feel. 

xx.

It was a good deal... a $3,000 worth of a repair for his silence. But Cole felt weird blatantly accepting it as a bribe, as if what had happened was gross or wrong. It was unexpected, sure, but... Cole had asked for it, hadn’t he? He assumed Thad was just very confused. Either that or Thad had a major lapse in judgement and now thinks Cole is wrong, sinful, a freak, even. With a tentative shrug, Cole gave in. “Okay, fine. Guess I won’t get a better deal than that.”

Cole was torn. He wanted to push the issue, to prove to Thad that there really is nothing wrong with liking guys... but that put him, and by association, Adam, in an extremely vulnerable position. At least with he kiss, the two were on equal footing. Leaning away from the discomfort, Cole decided to lighten the mood. “I guess I have to hope you’re good with your hands, guy,” he smirked. The usual back-and-forth of their interactions was a welcome reprieve from the temporary heaviness. 

The only thing worse than the residual pounding in Cole’s head is the haunting thought of what he’d seen in the cemetery. Or what he thought he’d seen. He had desperately tried to convince himself it wasn’t real-- but to no avail. How could it not be, when it was so tangible? If it was a mind trick, he should be institutionalized. But something felt... off, like so many other things in Hawkins did. So, Cole smoked until he finally passed out, and woke up to his alarm two hours later.

All day at work, he’d kept his headphones around his neck, playing music loud enough to distract from thinking about what had happened. Maybe it was immature, but he didn’t know how to deal with it so he just avoided it. That is, until Cassie walked through his door. He knew from her expression what she wanted to talk about, and he dutifully paused the music. Dragging his fingers through his unruly curls, Cole shrugged. “Not feeling my best, to be honest. I didn’t sleep much,” he admitted. “What about you?” He vaguely remembered her being at the cemetery, but the more time passed, the less clear the memories became.

WHO: cassie & @colemontgomeryx​ WHERE: the music store

To say that Cassie didn’t sleep well the night after being at the cemetery was an understatement. She was up the entirety of the night, replaying the same scene in her head until she finally began to count sheep instead. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling of being lifted up in the air and the sound of her bones cracking, followed by the voice … the one that was telling her it would all be over soon. The most peculiar part was that she wasn’t herself, she was the cheerleader, whoever she was. Though she could’ve sworn that Lucas had mentioned her name when Cassie told the story, the details of the night before were so hazy that she couldn’t remember. Had they really drank that much?

Nancy had warned her about this, and she didn’t want to tell her first thing in the morning what had happened. Instead, she thought to see someone who had been there in the cemetery with her, someone who might have answers to the running list of questions that had been growing in her head since she left the graveyard. Cassie found herself at the music store, remembering from their first meeting that Cole worked there. She greeted him with a pained smile, approaching the counter. “Is it me, or was something weird in that beer last night, because I feel like I’m having the worst blackout of my life. But you … you hit your head, right? I just wanted to see how you were feeling.”

mmuscles​:

.

thad watched the grass crunch below his feet as he walked off with cole. the fact he even had to say anything about this at all was stressing him out and the one feeling he kept coming back was wishing he simply hadn’t done it. maybe the thoughts of cole couldn’t haunt his mind and maybe he wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable with having to use some tact. as easy as it was to intimidate with fists and words, he didn’t want to do that with cole. with what little he knew about the guy, it didn’t seem like it would work. they spent a long time wandering around the field, thad unspeaking despite pulling cole aside.

finally, he shoved his fists into the pockets of his shorts and looked down at cole, “look, i like, really don’t want anyone finding out about….” he trailed off, nervously licking his lips. he was too embarrassed to even say what had happened, speaking about the incident made it more real, and that made thad more nervous. trying to keep up a tough exterior for cole, he continued, “i’ll fix your car if you keep that big mouth shut, deal?” he asked, sticking out his hand for cole to shake. would this be a business deal that thad’s father would be proud of? probably not. as he waited for cole to take it, thad added, “like, as collateral or whatever.” 

xx.

Wordlessly, Cole followed Thad around the field. Maybe Thad wanted to be further from people to say what he wanted to say. Cole had a foggy idea of what this conversation would be about; he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it too. Mostly, he’d thought up about a dozen questions, all that he couldn’t imagine Thad wanted to hear. Cole knew from personal experience that things as big as this couldn’t be forced; Thad had to be ready on his own.

He could tell Thad was nervous, ashamed even, and that made Cole sad. God, he was getting soft. Cole ventured to look into Thad’s eyes and decided, for once, to be earnest. “You don’t have to bribe me. I won’t say anything.”  Deciding to be the bigger person, Cole let the ‘big mouth’ comment slide. Besides, he knew how Thad really felt about his mouth. “For the record... it’s okay to feel that way,” he said, though his muscles were tense. He was ready to duck out of the way if Thad swung on him, just in case.