So Could I Have Some Headcannons, (Or Whatever You're Comfortable With) Of Kaeya? Specifically, Reader

⭒ kaeya, xiao, diluc, and albedo: argument repercussions hcs ⭒

request for anon: hello!!! was wondering if i could request kaeya, xiao, and any genshin characters who had a huge argument with y/n just before their mission/quest and they say some really hurtful words to y/n—like ‘burden’ or 'pathetic’ (btw the genshin bois didn’t come with you to the mission)

then y/n gets attacked and gravely injured during the mission; the guards who accompanied them insist they call [genshin character] for help but y/n says no—still hurt from the argument because they don’t wanna be a burden, or be pathetic. y/n tells them to head back home and that they can handle it on their own

the guards left y/n because they were persistent, but reader never came back

[genshin character] is worried that the guards came home without them so after many more hours and they still hadn’t come home, they go back to the mission site only to find y/n on the ground, lying in their pool of blood; unconscious and barely has any pulse

[genshin character] asks why they left them be and the guards tell him that the last words they told them was not wanting to be a burden

this breaks [genshin character]’s heart because y/n is on death’s door just because of them, and now they feel awfully guilty— regretting ever telling them those hurtful words which could lead to their death, and the thought of y/n thinking they’re pathetic and a burden to everyone before dying makes them feel worse—y/n’s pained and hurtful expression during their argument tormenting him

oh god it’s too much–i’m sorryyy :< i hope it’s not too much pressure :’( i’ve been craving for some hardcore angst and prompts like these are my faves:// you don’t have to do it tho! but if you do, thank you so so sooo muchh <33 again, don’t feel pressured to do it and feel free to ignore itt

NOOO DO NOT APOLOGIZE THIS WAS SO GOOD I GOT THIS AND IMMEDIATELY SHOWED ONE OF MY PARTNERS AND OUR FRIEND BECAUSE ITS SO TASTY AND WE ALL THRIVE ON ANGST

i did slightly alter a few things for some parts, but each hc list follows the same main path! i hope this lives up to what you wanted, i had an absolutely blast writing it :)

⭒

NOTE: please no more alternate ending requests! i have both a hurt/comfort follow-up and angst follow-up already, and i’m really satisfied with where this sort of mini series is at. thank you!

⭒

follow-ups:

⋆ kaeya, xiao, albedo, and diluc: repentance (hurt/comfort ending)

⋆ kazuha: argument repercussions + repentance (original prompt + hurt/comfort ending)

⋆ kaeya, xiao, albedo, diluc, and kazuha: remorse (angst ending)

⭒

pairing: kaeya, xiao, diluc, and albedo x reader (separately)

characters: kaeya alberich, xiao, diluc ragnvindr, albedo

genre: angst

word count: 1963

warnings: very brief mentions of injury/blood

⭒

kaeya

⋆ though kaeya rarely means any insults he throws at you, there are times when he’s not thinking and lets something slip—something that stings

⋆ neither of you can really recall what sets off your argument shortly before you leave, but it quickly escalates, and kaeya snaps at you

⋆ “are you so useless that you can’t do anything for yourself?”

Keep reading

Hasbrowns.

hashbrowns

warnings: just a lot of cursing, but like, nothing major, this is just a crackfic!!!

gn!reader x arataki itto

@light679 has the hots for oni leon

"i said id like an order of hashbrowns..."

"what?? i can't hear you?" the man on the other side said.

this is why you never fucking went to mcdonalds.

a sigh left your lips.

"CAN I GET AN ORDER OF FUCKING HASHBROWNS?!"

"yeah yeah okay whatever," he groaned, a frown forming on your face. "that'll be one order of hashbrowns, or something...?"

"yeah. thanks."

"uhhhh...." the man, no, idiot, on the speaker seemed kind of... slow. "can you wait in the... the parking lot? cause your order will be given to ya there..."

"okay. yeah, whatever, thanks. cool. bye."

you eventually pulled into a parking spot there after paying.

not even 5 minutes later, a-

a massive... god damn... oni?? tapped on the glass of your driver's side window.

"hellooo???" he exclaimed with a raised brow as you rolled down the window. "yeah, uh, are these... er..."

he clears his throat.

"FUCKING HASHBROWNS!!!" he shouted, mocking you loudly enough for the entire lot to hear, "yours?"

"um. yes..."

"cool." he dropped the bag into your hand, his number written on the greasy little putrid bag of half-burnt hashbrowns.

"hey dumbass!" you shouted back at the absolute fucking idiot trotting away in his black mcdonalds uniform.

"IS THIS YOUR NUMBER?!?!"

he briefly stopped, shock written on his face.

there is no way you just matched his tone when he mocked you with the "FuCkInG hAsHbRoWnS!!" thing...

"uh, yeah..." his ego washed over him again like a wave on the beach. "the one and- ONI's number, ha ha ha!!"

that... fucking BASTARD!!

"FUCK YOU!!!" you howled, honking your horn at him, while he ran away like his life depended on it giggling as if he was a little schoolgirl, his cheeks more crimson than his own horns.

well, i guess you're never going to mcdonalds ever again...

these hashbrowns suck anyways.

they send gym pics pt. 1

including: ayato, childe, diluc, kinich, thoma

genre: fluff, humor, slightly suggestive

type: smau

────────────────────────────

Ayato:

Childe:

Diluc:

Kinich:

Thoma:

────────────────────────────

a/n: this is lowkey how i envision them to look LMAO. anywho, quick lil post cause i lack motivation (as always). also, i added filters on some pics to slightly adjust skin tone (ayato and childe).

VENTI LMAO

Hi! Can I request a childe x reader streamer au scenario where reader comes home late after work and joins childe in his stream? It would also be funny to see the chat’s reaction 😂

Childe x GN! reader | No worries !! Thanks for requesting , I found this super cute AAAAAAAHHHH

“Fuck it I died again. Oh wait -- I’m not supposed to swear, aren’t I? Anyway... Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! ” 

Childe has lost again. For the fifth time this evening. The room was dark, and the silver light showed only his restless face, aroused in zeal. Pale cornflower hues move to the comment box. 

[Scara666] ... This sucks so bad. I almost threw my phone.

[i<3liyue] ... maybe you should update your h6 gun

[Windywhisper] ... Can you make a separate video on only how to use the power blast without leveling up?

[kaeyaSuperStrong] ... every fucking time i tried to play that game, my screen turns frozen help-

[Diluc_] ... @kaeyaSuperStrong; that’s because you bought your computer from the marketplace and you don’t have enough storage.

“This asshole literally blocked me. Move! Move! Move!” Childe groans, his hands stopping in the air. A hiss came, and then he whined. He would’ve cried right then. 

“Guys, I can’t -- like I can’t keep doing this. Every fucking round, my flag team keeps on getting captured..!” 

[Scara666] ... I‘m glad they’re destroying the shit out of you.

Childe straightens over his seat. “Didn’t I block you already, Scaramouche?”

[Scara666] ... I have other accounts you know.

“Well I’m blocking you again.” 

[Scara666] ... Let me just ask you a question.

The male felt as though his eyes could be trapped in the back of his head forever. “What? What is it?”

[Scara666] ... How does it feel when you’re over there enjoying yourself by playing the game you banned me in? That you, yourself, reported my ass just so you could rub it in my face that you’re just as bad as a kitchen sink.

“That’s it. I’m blocking you,” he then moves the mouse to the three dots and clicked block. His posture loosens and without Scaramouche, his chest becomes suddenly light and he could now focus on the game.

[Scara667] ... joins live

Childe jumps on his seat, this time, his eyes wild. “Just leave me alone!” he clicks block again. For a moment, it was peaceful. He went back to his game after a few minutes, encountering no problems becoming relaxed in the quiet air.

[Scara668] ... joins live

“Stop it, Scaramouche! I’m sorry for banning you, alright? Just leave!”

[Scara668] ... Try as you might, but you’ll never get rid of me.

[kaeyaSuperStrong] ... My keyboard is broken

[Windywhispers] ... I said can you make a separate video only on how to use the power blast without leveling up? You literally just avoided me awhile ago...

[$Zhongli$] ... Childe, will you send me the money so I could finally obtain the death sword?

Childe pays the comments no heed, he averts his gaze to the screen, attempting to make it through the next round without faults. He was close. Just barely actually. But still close. “--What are you doing?” came a voice from behind. 

The male leaps from his chair, tearing away his headphones in a meteorotic way. “So this is the game you’ve been playing all night?” you said. You step towards the screen, swerving away from Childe to see a glimpse of it, a glow fascination appears on your face. He pushes you to a distance and your brows knot.

“Let me see,” you pout and he averts his gaze. “No way,” he tells you bluntly. “Also, you’re home late. You better have a better excuse.”

“Are you filming a video?” you peek behind him. “What? No, wait --”

[kaeyaSuperStrong] ... real eyes realize real lies bro

[Scara668] ... Such a surprise for me. Who would have guess that anyone could withstand the sight of you? Is that your lover?

[Windywhispers] ... @i<3liyue; will you tell me how to do a powerblast?

[i<3liyue] ... @.Windywhispers; you have to level up

“Oooooh! Are you doing those youtube videos where a person sits on a chair and play games? That’s super cool! Hey Everybody!!”

“No!” Childe shouts, patches of red covers his cheeks, pulling you away from his computer. You laugh, shaking your head. “Aha, so mean,” your chuckles echo as you walk to the bathroom. From the moment the door shuts, Childe takes his mouse and ends the stream.

cute

geo dad adopts everyone challenge 

Soulbound

Zhongli x GN!Reader (Soulmate!AU)

Summary: Zhongli hated the mark on his neck, and he hated whoever the mark bounded him to. But fate plays a cruel joke, matching him with you, as he swore he would love no one else but Guizhong.

Tags: Angst/No Comfort, Short Story, Rejection, Hurtful Words, Hatred to Love

Soulmark - A mark that binds two individuals as soulmates.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Morax had always been frustrated by the mark on his neck.

A glowing, permanent part of his body that marks him tied to a soulmate. He thinks its stupid, for the love of his life was already in front of him, a gray-haired inventor that no carving in his body could ever stop him from adoring.

He finds it unbelievable that his neck is claimed by a soulmark yet Guizhong's remain blank, and he curses Celestia above for such a foul joke.

How could he be for anyone else but her?

When her dust settled in the field of glaze lilies he thought were incomparable to her beauty, he was utterly devasted, his clawed hands held onto his neck, wanting to rip the soulmark that had been taunting him for centuries.

How could he be marked for someone else while the love of his life laid lifeless?

He loathed his mark, everything about it, and he will till his last breath.

...

Zhongli deeply dislikes you.

You are a messy, silly, babbling buffoon.

An adventurer from Mondstadt that embodies the nation's will of freedom. Bubbly, carefree, and loud, much like a fellow god he didn't particularly like.

Despite of his disdain of you, your affection towards him never wavered. You filled his somber days with excitement as you joyfully tell him stories about your adventures, share some new recipes you've learned, even ushering him to talk about obscure Liyue historical facts that you've always found interesting.

He was much too proper to shoo you away, and his cold looks and short responses didn't discourage you to try to make friends with the man that peeked your curiosity.

Ever so slowly, you had pried open his caged heart, planting a small seed that was so distinctly you.

He would have accepted you, he would have seen you as a friend... and yet...

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a faint, familiar mark on your neck, revealed when you put your hair up into a ponytail.

Zhongli knew he truly disliked you.

...

"I don't believe in the marks either, Mr. Zhongli..." You reasoned with him, but his gaze still stung you with daggers.

He caged himself back up, ensuring that you could not care for the little seed you planted, no light would be able to reach it again.

His heart would not open...

No matter how many times he catches himself smiling at your antics.

No matter if he displays every gift and trinket you give him from your travels.

No matter how much he preferred your cooking over anyone else's.

No matter how beautiful you look staring up at him with your doe eyes as you confess your affection.

No matter how frustrated he felt at himself when he made you cry as he rejects your feelings.

Because, for him, how could there be anyone else but her?

...

"Do you see why it could never be you?"

You both stood in front of a monument, surrounded by various plants and objects you assume to be from friends of this ancient goddess.

"I bet she was amazing."

"She was perfect. Perhaps that's why I was not worthy to share a mark with her."

At this point, you were used to his words, how they praise her, how they degrade you.

"You're pretty great too, Zhongli..."

Faith places identical marks on the necks of two soulmates, and the rest is a romantic story of the passion that builds up as people pursue their marks of love.

Fate is cruel to you and him.

"That mark is not for you, Y/N." The Geo Archon says to you, tearing you apart silently, as you stand and take his words.

His heart quivers despite the harsh words coming from his own mouth. Even after millennia of having the mark engraved on his neck, after concluding that maybe he would allow your little seed to prosper even just for a bit, he still chooses to cling onto his hopeless past.

Tears fall down from your eyes, but you remain quiet, only nodding in agreement.

You loathed the mark on your neck.

...

Zhongli opens the cage of his heart a little, allowing him to peak at the small sprout from the seed you planted.

So distinctly you, it was the only thing he has of you.

After letting you leave him at Guizhong's monument with tears still staining your face, he couldn't help but miss you.

He couldn't help but let you finally take your place in his heart, after so long of hating his soulmark, hating whoever the mark tied him to, he fears he has finally accepted faith.

...

"Where is it?" He grips your arm harshly, his hold not faltering as you try to shake him off. His gaze was cold, yet you could still catch the hint of alarm in his eyes. "What have you done?"

After weeks... you return to him... missing something.

You winced at the stress of his words, feeling frightened under his tense hold. "I..." His bruising grip didn't falter, urging you to explain yourself. "S-Surprise...?"

"You..." Zhongli looks at you in disbelief. "How stupid could you be?"

"M-Mr. Zhongli... it's a blessing of the Anemo Archon... I prayed for him set us free from fate."

"Y/N... I..." He was at a loss for words, his heart ached as his eyes searched your neck in vain. "Fate... going against it is painful. It must've been excruciating."

"It was... but this if for you, Zhongli..." You smiled, feeling him loosen his grip. "Because I love... loved you." You fully free yourself from him, rubbing at where he previously held you.

The wind around him picked up, and he hears the faint whispers of an old friend along with it. Whispers of comfort, as he clearly ruined what would have been the light of the rest of his days.

Your soulmark fades, but his remains...

Zhongli loathed his mark, for it bears no meaning, no one but him bears that mark.

As you leave, trying to fade away in the background of his life, you remain under a spotlight in his eyes, for you will always be the one that shares his mark, no matter if it is visible.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

What y'all think of this one? :3

I bet y'all's feelings were hurt hehe

they’re still brothers to me also yuuji is a fall out boy stan i rest my case

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐄 .ᐣ (reupload!)

a husband's call.

ᯓ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 .ᐟ neuvillette, jing yuan, ayato, sunday x fem!reader (separate), feat. fu xuan, ayaka, thoma.

ᯓ 𝐜𝐰 .ᐟ GUESS WHO'S BAAAAACK, im so sorry for reuploading this even months after i returned, but hey guys look yet another fic that's prob been done before 😻, mentions of suicide, mentions of 'cheating' (literally nothing tho), mentions of torture and death (sunday is just a girl🎀), banter, fluff, crack, SFW, i am not very proud of this one (like wow my writing fell off here 💀), 2.7k words (yay a short one!!), god i love this trope, can y'all tell i really like sunday? 😔 rbs are appreciated!! <3

ᯓ NEUVILLETTE .ᐟ

𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 the residential wing of the Palais, swinging open the doors, marching in through the threshold and right for the parlour area.

The butler scrambled after him, frantic. “Monsieur Neuvillette, please, take a moment to calm do—”

“Where is my wife?” The Chief Justice’s voice thundered, and he continued storming through the halls. “I wish to see her. Now.”

“She’s—the Madame is in her study, Monsieur. She doesn’t wish to be distur—”

“No one is to interrupt us while I speak with my wife.” Finally, the Iudex stopped in his tracks and faced the butler. The usually calm, soft-spoken judge was icy and severe as he glared down at the frazzled attendant. “In the meantime, prepare the carriage.”

“Of course, Monsieur—but, may I ask why?”

Neuvillette heaved a sigh, and fatigue washed over his sharp features. “For the moment, please just do as I’ve ordered.”

“Oh, yes, of course…” The butler bowed three times before turning rushing off. “I shall have the coachman prepare it right away!”

The Chief Justice wasted no time in turning and heading down the hall for his wife’s study, and immediately entered without knocking.

You jumped in alarm at the abrupt slam of the door, and your book tumbled off your lap as you rushed to stand. “Neuvillette, what on ear—”

You hastily backed up as he charged toward you, startled and frightened. Oh no, what did I do? He looks furious!

“Do you know,” he began, extending a hand in a flash and grabbing your arm, pulling you toward him. Even though Neuvillette appeared utterly incensed, his grip was not bruising. It was gentle, and he swiftly curled an arm around your waist as he pressed you closely to him. “How utterly terrified I was when I received your letter?”

“What letter?” You placed a hand on chest, trying to calm him down. Those violet, slitted eyes of his were dark with untold emotions—fury, fear, and terror. You couldn’t fathom what had flustered the calm, gentle Chief Justice into such a raging state. What has happened to scare him so? You could feel his hands shaking as he gripped you tightly.

“This letter.” Neuvillette wrenched out a scrunched piece of paper from his coat pocket. “It is addressed to me from you. In your handwriting. Do you hate me so much, that you wish to torture me with such…such—”

“I never wrote this.” The contents of the letter was, yes, penned in your handwriting—at least, a very accurate forging of it—and it spoke of your apparent intentions to throw yourself off one of the cliff faces of Mount Esus. “What is this? A suicide note?” You continued reading, and you were supposedly expressing how discontent you were with being married to such an ‘exalted, unreachable’ man like Neuvillette and it had driven you into great depression.

Shaking your head, you looked up into the distressed face of your husband. “Neuvillette, I assure you, I would never write such a horrible thing as this. I’m not suicidal in the least. Not with you. You make me very happy.”

“I was scared. So scared.” The Chief Justice buried his face into the dip between your neck and shoulder, clinging to you like a frightened child would its mother. Rain lashed against the windows. One of his hands cupped the back of your head, fingers entangled in your hair. “I’ve never felt such terror in all my life. Who could be so cruel as to do this? What if they had kidnapped you, thrown you off the cliff, made it seem as if you really were miserable with me—"

You kissed the top of his head. “That won’t happen. How could you ever make me miserable? Do you know how long I prayed for a husband like you? You treat me like a queen.”

You could feel his erratic heartbeat drumming against your chest, and you threaded your fingers through his silvery locks gently. “Shall we spend the evening together? Just you and me? How about a weekend getaway?”

Butterfly kisses ghosted the skin of your nape and shoulders, and Neuvillette’s right hand dropped to clutch at your left hip. “Just as long as you’re at my side the entire time.”

“I’ll stick to you like glue,” you chuckled into his ear, and you wound your arms around his neck. “A little holiday in Liyue sounds nice. You need a break. How about it?”

“Mm,” The Iudex hummed appreciatively, emerging from your neck and he pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. His unfairly long and curly lashes cast shadows across the apples of his cheeks. “Somewhere isolated?”

You tilted your head and pressed up into him further, eyes on his mouth. “Of course. I’ve been craving some real Crystal Shrimp. And proper Liyuean tea.”

“Oh, yes,” he chuckled lowly, and he leaned in, whispering against your lips. “…It’s stopped raining.”

“I should hope so,” you smiled up at him. “You’ve got nothing to worry about now.”

ᯓ JING YUAN .ᐟ

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑-𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 had been looking all over for you, and he was starting to get worried. He’d checked all your favourite places—garden, lounge, his office, your office, library, even places downtown—but you were nowhere to be seen.

I want to play chess with her. Jing Yuan always had to be around you. That was the fact of the matter. If you weren’t around, he was down in the dumps. He was so besotted with his wife, even after centuries of marriage.

After going around in circles for a little while, the General finally came across Yanqing. “Yanqing, do you know where my wife is?”

His retainer blinked up at his master. “Uh, yes, general. She’s with Fu Xuan, in the garden. Playing chess.”

“Without me?” Jing Yuan couldn’t keep the inflection of a whine out of his tone. I’ve already checked the garden, and she wasn’t there! But, that was a few hours ago now. Aheming, Jing Yuan righted himself. “Ehem, that is to say—thank you, Yanqing. Go take a break.”

Yanqing eyed his mentor warily. “…Yes, general.”

Ignoring his novice’s look, Jing Yuan immediately made his way back to the estate gardens and searched through the hedges for you. Soon, your lovely form came into view, and the General picked up the pace.

“—Thrashing Jing Yuan,” Fu Xuan was saying, casually moving one of her chess pieces across the board. “He’s probably wandering around looking for yo—oh, General. Here you are.”

Two strong arms encircled your waist, and you were abruptly tugged into the warm chest of your husband. His shock of ivory hair brushed over your left cheek. “You promised you’d verse me later.”

“Oh, I don’t recall.” You grinned at Fu Xuan, who rolled her eyes at the General’s blatant affection as he nuzzled into your nape. “Did I? My goodness, must’ve slipped my mind.”

“Do you like Fu Xuan better than me?” he lamented, clutching you tighter. “You do, don’t you? Well, why not marry her, then?”

“I have your blessing?” You bit back your laughter, waggling your eyebrows at the huffing Diviner sitting across from you. “Well, then, don’t mind if I do.”

“Verse me in chess first,” your husband murmured, nibbling at your neck. “Then you can wed her.”

“No, I think I’ll see myself out,” Fu Xuan sighed, gathering up her things. She looked like she was about to throw up. “You two make me nauseous. Have fun, I guess.”

You bid her a chipper farewell while Jing Yuan petulantly ignored her, too occupied with you to bother paying respects to the Master Diviner of the Divination Commission. Patting his arm, you leaned your head against his comfortingly. “Alright, my future wife is gone now. We can play chess.”

Instead of letting you go and taking a seat across from you, Jing Yuan picked you up, sat down in your spot, and situated you nicely on his lap, before burying his face back into your chest. “You’re a tease. I practically turned the entire Luofu upside down looking around for you. For hours. Hours, you hear? Only to find you cheating on me with that pink-haired Diviner.”

“Cheating’s a bit of an overstatement, my dear. You want to play chess, or are you going to fall asleep on me again?”

“Chess, of course.” He made no move to follow through with it. The man was practically purring into your chest. “I won’t go easy on you.”

“Like you ever do.” You lightly massaged his scalp with your nails, running your fingers through his lovely hair, making him preen at your attention. If this man was a cat, he’d be purring like an engine right about now. “Sure you’re not going to take a quick nap first?”

“Absolutely.” Jing Yuan’s cheek was laid on your right breast, a fully innocent gesture. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” You continued gently massaging his head, feeling quite content yourself. You gave the man one minute before he fell asleep. And you were right.

You let him sleep. It was bliss—peaceful, sitting together like this. Something that, even after centuries of marriage, you could never grow used to.

ᯓ AYATO .ᐟ

“𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 my wife, Thoma?” The Yashiro Commissioner rummaged about his coat sleeves and pulled out two bobas, striding through the halls of the Kamisato Clan’s estate with purpose. “I have some bubble tea to share with her.”

Thoma smiled to himself, following behind Kamisato Ayato. “She is with Lady Ayaka at present, my lord, in your chambers. I do believe your wife will be overjoyed at your return.”

“I’ve missed her dearly.” Ayato hurried along, taking a turn and making his way toward your shared bedroom. “If you would accompany Ayaka for the rest of the afternoon while I spend time with my wife, it would be much appreciated, Thoma. I’ll get you some boba another time.”

“Don’t worry about it, my lord.” The head housekeeper tried not to grin too much at his boss’ unending antics around his beloved wife. “All that matters is you having a relaxing time with Her Ladyship.”

“Absolutely right. See? This is why you’re so reliable, Thoma. You always know exactly what to say.” Lord Ayato is in a particularly good mood today. No wonder. He just arrived home from a long trip overseas and the first thing out of his mouth once he set foot in Inazuma again was his wife’s name.

The duo stopped before a door and Ayato swiftly lifted a hand to knock. There was a shuffle, quiet words from the two women behind the door, and the patting of socked feet upon wood. The door slid open, and there you were—still in your jinbei.

“Ayato!” you exclaimed, flinging your arms around him. “It’s been months! You’re finally home! Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

“Are you alright, my dear?” Ayato didn’t get a chance to thank Thoma for quickly plucking the two bubble teas from his hands so he could hug you back. “You sound stuffy, like you’ve got an awful cold.”

You sniffled, and then coughed. Then you snivelled again. “Yes. I caught the flu two days ago. Ayaka’s been keeping me company.”

There was a soft flash of grey-blue and there his sister was behind you, beaming up at her brother. “Welcome home, brother. I trust you are well?”

“Quite well. I did not expect to come home and see you sick as a dog! Have you been taking the appropriate medicine?”

“Ayaka almost throttled me trying to get the horrid stuff down my neck.” You turned and waddled back to your and Ayato’s comfortable futon, sitting up against the pillows. He followed after you like a lovesick puppy, accepting the two bobas from Thoma. Sighing, you put your face into your elbow and coughed. “It’s…” You wheezed again. “Working.”

“We’ll leave you two to it.” Ayaka placed a hand on Thoma’s shoulder and they turned to leave. They both smiled back at both of you. “Rest up. Both of you. Brother, make sure she drinks that tonic.”

“Will do,” he said, ignoring your aggravated groan. He brushed back your hair from your forehead, and the door clicked shut. “Want some boba?”

“I love you,” you immediately said upon him handing you your bubble tea. “Marrying you was the best decision ever.”

“As long as I have boba on me, huh?”

“I can make a few exceptions.”

Ayato smiled, poking your cheek, before leaning in, heading right for your mouth. “Can I have a ki—”

A hand smacked him away. “No! You’ll catch my cold. And I’m all snotty at the moment. Drink your boba.”

“I can just get sick with you.” He shrugged. But he yielded to your request and crawled in under the covers next to you, chewing away at some tapioca pearls. “Now, tell me. What have you been up to while I was away?”

“Keeping the entire Commission afloat,” you snarked, no bite behind your words. “It was so boring without you. I didn’t have anyone to go horseback riding with in Chinju Forest.” You had a sip of your bubble tea, wiping your nose with a tissue. You relished the caramelly taste. “Anyway, how did the meeting go? Since you acted as Ambassador to the Dawn Winery, was it?”

“I did, and the relations went exceptionally well, if I do say so myself. Inazuma is bound to have an onslaught of dandelion wine within the next month.”

“Wonderful. I could use a good glass of wine.” You sighed and relaxed against your husband’s shoulder. “…I’m glad you’re home.”

“I am, too.” Ayato nuzzled you. “Are you warm?”

“Very.” You closed your eyes. You had another sip of boba. He laced your fingers together, and you smiled. Even bedridden, you were content as could be.

ᯓ SUNDAY .ᐟ

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 Head had his icy moments, but nothing compared to this. Every staff member was scared witless, shaking as they were dismissed from his presence, leaving him and his victim alone. The poor soul on the receiving end of Mr. Sunday’s placid wrath was visibly shaking.

“Now.” The Head of the Oak Family stood with his hands held tightly behind his back, staring frostily down at his target, halo glowing, having just recited his incantation for the light of the Harmony, calling on THEM. “I will ask you once more, and you will have no choice but to answer honestly. Question: where is my wife?”

“I—I don’t know! I swear—argh!” An expensive shoe pressed down on the sobbing man’s hand harshly, Sunday’s golden eyes frozen to a murderous amber. The man clutched at his head in agony. “It hurts! It hurts! Please, stop!”

“It won’t hurt if you tell the truth.” The Family Head’s voice remained as calm as an arctic sea. “Yet, you continue to refuse. Must I bloody my hands to extract my wife’s true whereabouts from you?”

“N-No, just—please…” THEIR light was shredding at the man’s thoughts. “I really don’t know!”

“Question: is your hirer a lackey of the IPC?”

“Argh—yes…” Sunday’s victim fought for breath. 

“Is my wife alive?”

“…Yes…ugh…”

“Is she unharmed?”

“…I don’t…know.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“…I don’t—hngh! Yes…”

“Where is my wife?”

“I can’t tell you!”

And then the man let out a wail, mental state driven to the brink. Sunday’s fists tightened into two white-knuckled balls. “Oh, yes, you can, and you will. The Harmony rejects you. THEY reject you. Tell the truth.”

“Sh—She is…your wife is…”

“Where?”

“She’s on Penacony. Hidden in a…ugh—warehouse. Guarded. Not in the Dreamscape.”

“Where is this warehouse?”

“That…I honestly don’t know. That’s all they told me.”

Sunday narrowed his eyes, glacial, before whirling around and marching for the doors. He flung them open, and called his men in. 

They stood to attention. Sunday coldly regarded each of them. “Send this man back in pieces to the IPC. Warn them that if they do not reveal my wife’s whereabouts within the next twelve hours, they will have a very big problem on their hands.” He threw a repulsed look back at the screaming man. “Shut him up for good. Make sure that all IPC delegations and influences in the Dreamscape…” The Family Head approached his desk. “Are cut off, imprisoned—or, better yet, killed.”

“Yes, sir!” One man back knocked the IPC thug out, dragging him away. 

Sunday coolly clicked his pen. “Send a clear message that consequences for any inaction on their part will be dire. I want my wife back, and I want her back by tomorrow.”

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Hey I want to request a husband!gojo getting his wisdom teeth pulled out and he is high af from the anesthesia. I just imagine him forgetting everything and starts acting dumb. This would be huge blackmail material for nobara and megumi lol

peacock — gojo satoru x f!reader

as soon as you step into the recovery room, the sight of him almost makes you burst out laughing. satoru is slouched in the chair, limbs draped over the sides, his usual composed demeanor replaced with utter disarray.

his eyes, free of his blindfold, are dazed and unfocused, those brilliant blue irises practically swimming in confusion.

his cheeks are puffed out comically with gauze, and he’s staring up at the ceiling like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.

when his eyes eventually find you, they widen dramatically, his entire face lighting up like he’s just seen a miracle.

"oh. my. god," he gasps, his voice muffled by the cotton stuffed in his mouth, but his tone is thick with awe and disbelief. “you’re... you're an angel. a real one.”

you bite your lip, barely managing to stifle the laughter bubbling up. “satoru, it’s me,” you say, moving closer to him.

he squints at you, leaning forward so far that he nearly tips over, his eyes narrowing as he’s trying to make sense of what he’s seeing. “wait... we know each other?”

you fight back a smile. “I’m your wife.”

there’s a beat of silence before his eyes widen again, and he jerks back so dramatically that the chair creaks beneath him.

“wife? no way!” he grips the armrests with exaggerated strength, staring at you like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you. “are you serious? we’re married? to each other?”

you giggle as you nod, “for a while now.”

he slumps back, his head rolling to the side with a long, exaggerated groan. his entire body sinks into the chair.

“wow. I did it. I really did it,” he says, staring up at the ceiling again, his eyes unfocused and dazed. “I married the hottest person in the universe. I win at life.”

your lips twitch into a grin, watching him bask in his drugged-out epiphany. “you sure did,” you say, unable to stop yourself from laughing softly.

you move to help him up, sliding your arm around his waist as he wobbles to his feet, legs unsteady like a baby giraffe taking its first steps.

but as you start guiding him toward the door, he plants his feet firmly on the ground, stopping you with a wild-eyed, serious expression. “wait, wait, wait,” he says, his hand reaching out to grab yours with surprising urgency.

his fingers are warm, clumsy in their grip, but there’s an intensity in his gaze that, even through the haze of anesthesia, is so satoru.

his face is scrunched up in deep thought, brows furrowed as though he’s wrestling with the most critical question of his life. “I need to know something... something important.”

you raise an eyebrow, watching him try to focus, his blue eyes narrowing. “okay, what is it?”

“do we... do we kiss?”

you can’t help it—this time, you let out a snort of laughter. “yes, satoru, we kiss. all the time.”

he blinks slowly, his mouth hanging open in awe, eyes sparkling with newfound wonder.

“no way! I knew it. I’m so good at kissing, aren’t I?” he beams, his prideful grin exaggerated by the swollen cheeks, making him look utterly ridiculous. “I knew I was a natural.”

you chuckle, shaking your head as you tighten your hold on him, guiding him toward the exit. “you’re definitely something,” you mutter under your breath.

but, of course, satoru has no intention of walking in a straight line, let alone staying quiet. he stops again, turning his head to you with a deeply perplexed look, like he’s trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe.

“wait… wait… there’s these kids,” he says, gesturing wildly, nearly knocking the clipboard off the counter.

“they’re always hanging around. the loud pink-haired one, the grumpy one, and the one who keeps yelling. who are they? why are they always following me?”

you sigh through a laugh, shaking your head as you guide him forward. “those are your students, satoru. yuuji, megumi, and nobara.”

his face lights up with recognition—or something close to it. “yuuji! yeah, yeah, the kid who talks to everything. I like him. he’s my pokemon.”

you snicker, struggling to keep him upright as he sways like he’s on a boat in the middle of a storm. “he is your student, not a pokemon,” you remind him gently.

he waves his hand dismissively. “nah, nah, he’s my pokemon.”

you shake your head, unable to stop smiling. “sure, satoru. whatever you say.”

“and megumi!” satoru perks up again, his eyes sparkling. “my little emo sunshine. I keep trying to make him smile, but it’s, like, so hard. do you think he’s broken?”

his voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper, leaning closer to you. “should we fix him?”

you let out a small laugh, trying to keep him from stumbling as you approach the door. “I think megumi’s just fine, satoru.”

satoru gasps, clutching at your arm. “don’t tell me... he’s also your best friend? is he my rival?”

before you can respond, the door to the recovery room swings open, and standing in the hallway are yuuji, nobara, and megumi.

nobara is the first to spot satoru, her eyes widening before she bursts into uncontrollable laughter, clutching her stomach as she doubles over.

“oh my god, this is amazing!” nobara cackles, already pulling out her phone and aiming the camera at satoru. “I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life.”

yuuji grins widely, waving enthusiastically. “sensei! you okay?”

satoru beams at the sight of yuuji, grinning so wide that his swollen cheeks puff out even more.

“yuuji! my pokemon!” he tries to wave but nearly tips over, forcing you to steady him with both hands. “I missed you, man! when did you get here?”

yuuji looks bewildered for a moment. “pokemon?”

nobara is still laughing uncontrollably, already typing on her phone with one hand while recording with the other. “fushiguro, please tell me you’re getting this. this is gold!”

megumi, for his part, just stands there with his arms crossed, a sigh escaping his lips. but you can see the faintest twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth, a rare sign of amusement.

meanwhile, satoru is now waving his arms around excitedly, turning back to yuuji. “we should totally start a band! you play drums, and I’ll sing. we’ll call it...gojo and the gojos!”

yuuji blinks in surprise, his jaw dropping slightly. “uh, what?”

nobara howls with laughter, her camera still rolling. “oh my god, this is going in the group chat. no, actually, this is going everywhere.”

megumi shakes his head, his expression caught between amusement and exasperation. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he mutters.

you sigh, shaking your head fondly at the absolute circus unfolding around you. “alright, superstar,” you say, gently pulling satoru toward the exit, “let’s get you home before you say anything else you’ll regret.”

satoru grins, his eyes half-lidded but still full of wonder, like he’s just discovered something miraculous. “home? with my wife? yes, please. best. day. ever.”

as you manage to pull satoru a few steps closer to the door, his weight leaning heavily against you, he suddenly halts.

you glance at him, bracing yourself for another round of his ridiculous, anesthesia-fueled revelations, but nothing—nothing—could prepare you for what comes next.

“wait,” he says, his voice low and serious, as if he's about to share the most critical, world-altering secret.

his glassy eyes look at you intensely, filled with wild determination. “I need to do something important before we leave.”

you blink at him, confused. “satoru, what could you possibly—”

before you can finish your sentence, he dramatically pulls away from you, somehow managing to stand on his own. with the grace of a baby giraffe on ice, he wobbles toward the center of the room, ignoring your protests.

“satoru—”

he shushes you loudly, a single finger pressed to his lips as he glances over his shoulder, his expression way too serious for someone who can’t walk straight.

“shhh. this is between me and the universe.”

you exchange a bewildered look with yuuji, who’s still watching in awe, nobara recording every second, and megumi now sighing deeply, clearly bracing himself for whatever absurdity satoru is about to unleash.

then, with absolutely no warning, satoru starts unbuttoning his shirt.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" you yelp, rushing forward to stop him, but you’re too late.

he rips his shirt open dramatically, buttons flying everywhere, revealing his bandaged, puffy cheeks, along with his very confused, bare chest.

“satoru—oh my god—”

but he’s not done. no, of course he’s not. he thrusts his arms out to the side, chest puffed out proudly, and yells at the top of his lungs:

“I AM A PEACOCK, WATCH ME SOAR!”

the room falls into stunned silence for a moment. nobara freezes mid-recording, mouth hanging open in disbelief, while yuuji’s jaw drops, eyes wide with sheer awe.

megumi, however, just buries his face in his hands.

“I cannot believe I know this man,” megumi mutters under his breath, his tone one of deep regret.

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