I’m sorry I was talking with someone about the AP lit prompt for the third essay today and said that I used the Dracula novel and the character of Jonathan to write the essay, Yknow, cuz it fit. And they straight up said “Are you kidding me, isn’t that a movie?”
Bro.
Everyone wish my good friend Jonathan luck, he's studying to pass the bar rn and apparently has a big work trip/promotion thingy coming up 🥺
in dracula there is a cowboy and the female lead lives. in nosferatu there is no cowboy and the female lead dies. ergo, the existence of a cowboy is highly important for the survival of the female lead in a gothic vampire story.
in catsle dracula. straight up "jorking it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. a shovel in draculas face
"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."
Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.
Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.
No Dracula Daily today. Guess he's dead already.
the offseason’s coming to a close, dracula be upon ye
Herr Englishman turn back you are full of das deathflagsten
dracula lying on the couch flipping through tourist guides to england is so funny. every dracula adaptation should include that scene
Jonathan on the 12th: This thing isn't human, I just watched him scale the bloody walls like a fucking lizard, what sort of beast am I forced to be in contact with????
Jonathan on the 15th: Saw the old bastard scaling the fucking wall again and honestly fuck this shit I am so over it hope he falls actually.
i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.