Er-gege, Look At Me

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

have a gender moment about being divine and human

「…誰だって、ほんとうにいいことをしたら、いちばん幸なんだねえ。」  “…a person creates happiness around them when they do something good.”

- Campanella, from 銀河鉄道の夜 by Miyazawa Kenji

wait why'd the music stop

Rami Kadi Fall/Winter 2019 haute couture

there's something so inherently queer in the way The Eighth Sense is being acted and ESPECIALLY in the way it's being filmed, and the cinematography and editing choices that keep taking my goddamn breath away.

the almost pain in the longing of short, broken glances to avoid being caught staring, the eyes darting over his whole face instead of lingering too long on his eyes or lips, the tentative broaching of conversation and testing of boundaries that only happens with that level of anxiety in a queer relationship

the constant fear of "what if he's not?" "what if i'm mistaken?" "what if i step too far?" which straight people rarely have to worry about, because at worst if you ask another straight person out you'll get meanly turned down, but if you're queer and you ask a straight person out the reaction could be SO bad, so you're scared and you're withholding but you're just WANTING

there are whole scenes where their friendship is clearly blooming and they both forget their sexualities and they're just having fun like they do with other people

and then there's always a moment where it THUDS back home again. the wetsuits. the showers. outside the bar. on the beach. where they're both so clearly HYPERAWARE of themselves and each other and feeling so exposed and so so scared but still desperate to be near each other

jaewon and jihyun are in parallel states of just YEARNING so badly that it makes my heart ache and my breath catch every time one of those scenes appears

Look, there's got to be something sociologically meaningful about the fact that almost every single queer person I know under the age of about 35 daydreams about setting up an extended household--a little town or a house or an apartment building or a few houses or a mansion or a commune--and filling it with all their friends so we can all live near one another and take care of each other.

It is a wildly common fantasy. Every time I met a new group of people it pops wistfully up. As I age, folks get more and more determined to try. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail and those of us with mobile careers, like mine, are at something of a disadvantage, but the wistful notion is everywhere. The dream. Having our friends who love us right here, where we can touch them and help them.

I don't know if it's just that I live on the internet, but it's something, gazing into the flickering screen and knowing we're all daydreaming about a better future for all of us working together to support one another.

LORD HAVE MERCY

just wuxian stretching obnoxiously and wangji struggling to ignore it. i wish they had more time for everything to be harmless fun and low stakes love like this.

The making of a blep