Lost-coffedemon - Lost

wanna bury my face in a man’s neck and smell his hair and skin while we cuddle up under the covers while it rains outside. basically, i’m gay

mlm & nblm

Me: *throws rocks at gods window*

God: *opens window* "what do you want?"

Me: "my gender is broken I don't want it anymore"

God: "what's wrong with your gender?"

Me: "it has dysphoria"

God: "what the f**k is wrong with you?" *closes window*

Hamilton: I like to think water is very powerful

Lafayette: yes, continue

Hamilton: want to lose weight? Drink water

Hamilton: want clear skin? Drink water

Hamilton: don’t like someone? Drown them

A spaceship landed in the park. Two aliens - one twice the size of the other - emerged. They walked up to a jogger, and the larger alien pushed the smaller forward. "Go on. Ask." The small alien bowed to the jogger. "Are- are we there yet?" "Er… No?" "See?" said the large one.

saying your names, richard siken

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

Some of my best friends are musicians and everytime they release something new I can't go to sleep until I've listened to it. I think that's love

i really felt it when Oli said “why am i this way, stupid medicine not doing anything”

I really hate being alone because sometimes I get stuck in my head. I get lost in my mind. 'cause up there it's like a wicked maze with moving walls built out of my screaming and racing thoughts.

And I don't know if it's too quiet or too loud, if I feel a lot of emotions or nothing at all. Am I in pain or is everything just numb?

So I'm just falling down this downward spiral. And I want to scream. Want to ask for help. But every time I try and open my mouth no sound comes out. All I can do is reach out my hand, hoping you see it and catch me before I arrive at the end.

Down at the bottom, broken, shattered in pieces, dying inside. 'cause honestly I don't know if I can build myself all up again.

Dysphoria.

It's a hard thing to describe. You can't really explain it to people who don't experience gender dysphoria. And everyone is experiencing dysphoria in a different way. Some people can put in words how they feel, but I'm not sure if I can. Dysphoria is the worst kind of pain I've known. There are some days I don't feel so dysphoric about myself but the most time my dysphoria is really bad. Sometimes I break down because I can't handle the dysphoria attacks. It makes me want to rip my skin off. It makes me stay in bed all day because I just don't have enough energy to get up. It makes me feel like shit and that I never want to talk again because I can't handle my voice. It's the reason why I sometimes can't talk in class because I feel too dysphoric about my voice. It's the reason I sometimes can't wear what I want because I'm scared not to pass so I rather wear a baggy hoodie. On some days it makes me want to kill myself because it doesn't seem worth it. And there are people out there who think it's fun to be Transgender. They think it's all pride parades and adorable. But it's not. Being Trans is the reason why I can't do the things I wanted to do in the future. Being Trans is a pain in the ass and I have to struggle every day. Every day is a fight. And I don't need people to understand how I feel. I just need them to stop making fun of Trans people. Because it's already hard enough to be Trans. And I know I'm not the only one who has to struggle with all of this but sometimes I feel like I'm alone.