In Case Anyone Is Having A Bad Night:

Reblog if you believe trans rights are human rights.

another bunch of incorrect ducktales quotes

Gosalyn: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Dewey: This is a lie.

Dewey: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Dewey: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

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Louie: Huey said its my turn with the brain cell.

Dewey: Square up.

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Honkers: And what do I get out of this?

Gosalyn : I will give you a dollar.

Honkers: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gosalyn : How bout two dollars?

Honkers: You got yourself a deal.

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Gosalyn : I'm very scary.

Drake: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Gosalyn : Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Drake: And small.

Gosalyn :

Gosalyn : ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

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Lena: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Honkers: How did you find us?

Lena: I saw your ad on craigslist.

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May, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

June: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later*

June: Here you go.

May:

June:

Dewey: Why am I here?

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*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Boyd: Would never stab anyone.

May: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dewey: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Webby: Would stab without warning.

Gosalyn : Would stab as a warning.

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Gosalyn : There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dewey way.

Honkers: Isn't that the wrong way?

Gosalyn : Yes, but it's faster.

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Dewey: Are you reading fan fiction?

Honkers, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.

Dewey: Oh, is it on AO3?

Honkers: This is CNN.

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Lena: What are you in the mood for?

Webby: World domination.

Lena: That's a bit ambitious.

Webby: You are my world.

Lena: Aww...

Webby:

Lena:

Webby:

Lena: OH.

=================================Violet: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

May: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Violet: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

June: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

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Doofus: Count me in!

Violet: Who the hell are you?! Doofus: Oh, you know my sibling! They worked at Wendy's.

Violet: Oh yeah, Boyd! How are they doing?

Doofus: Oh yeah, not too good. They've been dead for the past month.

Dewey: What the hell, they didn't tell us!

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Huey, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

June: But Huey, we don't smoke.

Huey: Cut the crap, June. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Huey: *points at Dewey* One! *points at Louie* Two! *points at Webby* Three! *points at Gosalyn * Four! *points at June* Five!

Huey: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Gosalyn : *puts a cigarrette in Huey's hand*

Huey: Thank you. ...Light? The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

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Doofus: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Webby: Get two more chairs.

Dewey: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Violet: Make them FIGHT for their seats!

Gosalyn : I would never be near children.

Lena: Get rid of two kids.

=================================Webby: *yawns*

Lena: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Webby: Then you must be exhuasted.

May: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

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Lena: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Webby: I saw you.

Lena: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of June in a turkey costume.

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Lena: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!

Gosalyn : Allergies are also a problem, y'know.

Lena: But pink.

May: And it's hot.

Lena: PINK! =================================

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Lena: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad... =================================

Jason: I love that babies ball their hands up into fists all the time.

Jason: Mar'i, you can't even sit up yet, who are you gonna fight? I support it completely, but who are you going after? Who's trying you??

Kangham with the words revealed and sorry

“I’m sorry,” Randy whispered as Debbie ignored his previous protests and slipped her fingers under his mask. “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“You didn’t want me to find out at all,” Debbie snapped back, but then the mask was off his face, and she saw him, saw her boyfriend instead of the Ninja, and he watched as the truth of that registered on her face.

-|-

see more fics | more RC9GN fics

Dewey , very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Gosalyn : *half asleep* Dewey , this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.

Uncle scrooge im gonna take the plane for a ride with gosalyn we'll be back by dinner

(Ps this is dewey im on an alt account

Ok lad but don't be late and don't get into trouble like last time!

If you crash the plane your out of the will :)

The Virtues of Stanford Pines

Summary: I've seen people accuse Ford of doing horrible things on one side, and people defending his actions on the other side. But how about we turn the tables and talk about all of the good Ford has done. (At least, that was the plan.)

Word Count: 2813.

Spoilers: Gravity Falls series, Journal 3, The Book of Bill, Lost Legends, thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

1. He's incredibly hard-working:

Just because someone is smart doesn't mean they don't put a lot of effort into studying and Ford definitely did. It's mentioned twice just in "A Tale of Two Stans," when he tries to convince the college board to give him another chance and when he describes his years at Backupsmore.

And it doesn't stop at intellectual pursuits. In Journal 3 Ford says he exercises daily, despite having always hated physical activity.

Anyway, I don't think anyone is going to argue this point, so let's leave it at that.

2. He's supportive of his friend:

There are going to be a few controversial takes, but I truly believe that Ford was trying to be a good friend to Fiddleford. Now, there were fights between them, and Ford did say quite a few insensitive things both to his face and in the Journal. But overall, I don't think he ever intended to hurt Fiddleford, and he definitely appreciated his friend's company.

When Ford invited Fiddleford to work on the portal, he wrote in the journal: "He (Fiddleford) has sacrificed so much to come to my aid. He has temporarily left his bride and their young son... he has abandoned his own professional aspirations... I must do my best to make him feel at home.... I am off to the store for some banjo strings and microchips!" (quote shortened, because I'm lazy) Clearly, Ford cared about his friend and wanted to make him feel welcome.

He also compliments Fiddleford's "brilliant mind," "amusing quirks" and scrupulous work ethic, by saying "I double-check my equations. He quintuple-checks!"

And I hear you, didn't he claim the complete opposite in the series? According to him, Fiddleford "was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers", right? Well, if we ignore the fact that the creators weren't 100% consistent in their writing, here's how I would reconcile those two statements. Ford thought (erroneously) that his friend's research wasn't important in the grand scheme of things, but it was important to Fiddleford personally. And can you really blame Ford? He was about to demostrate the existence of other dimensions and create a gateway that would allow us to visit them. If something like that happened irl, it would've been a groundbreaking discovery, altering our very understanding of the natural world and how it works. Meanwhile, laptops, at least in Ford's opinion, were just "heavy, slow journals." Still, he knew this work was important to Fiddleford, and he wanted to accommodate that. Hence, his trip to buy microchips (and banjo strings.)

Ford tried (and unfortunately, failed) to help Fiddleford deal with his anxiety. In Journal 3, he mentions teaching Fiddleford some meditation techniques and going to the Carnival, so that Fiddleford would enjoy "a day of relaxation." In the Book of Bill, Ford feels guilty about not getting his friend a gift and decides to throw a surprise Christmas party instead. This was also an attempt to cheer Fiddleford up after his fight with his wife.

"But Ford didn't take Fiddleford's anxiety seriously, and it ruined his life." Okay, let's say you're right. Remember, Ford was raised in the 60s. A time when mental illness or just mental distress were looked down on. What was he supposed to do? Suggest Fiddleford goes to the therapist? I mean, they were studying paranormal creatures, if Fiddleford told those stories to a therapist who didn't believe in these things, there would've been a really high chance of misdiagnosis. Should Ford have simply fired Fiddleford? Well, that wouldn't have been very nice. Also, there is no need to infantilize Fiddleford in the first place, he's a grown-up person capable of makind his own decisions. If the job is too stressful, if the relationship doesn't work out, he has every right to leave, because his life and mental well-being are his responsibility. Instead, he ignored Ford's warnings and decided to use the Memory Gun and start a cult. It was, by the end of the day, Fiddleford's decision. And it's tragic. It really is. No one deserves to lose their family, their mind and their sense of self. It's something Ford feels guilty about, because whether it was intentional or not, he did indirectly contribute to Fiddleford's downfall. That's why, when they finally reunited after 30 years, Ford apologized to Fiddleford. And according to Journal 3, Fiddleford dissmised his apology, leading Ford to say that "Not only is this man's mind superior to mine, but he has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen."

3. He has no reservations about helping others out:

There's a reason why Ford's the first person people turn to, when there's a problem. He has both the desire and the skills to help people out. Using Dipper's idea, he stops agents from investigating his family. He goes above and beyond just to change a lightbulb in the kitchen. Though morally questionable, he did give the kids a mind control tie with the intent of helping Stan win the elections. In the comics, Stan turns to Ford when Mabel's face is stolen and when Stan himself is cursed by an old chest.

And that's how things were in the past too. In "The Pines Boys in: The Jersey Devil's in the Details", Ford defends his brother, twice. First, when Filbrick accuses Stan of stealing the gold chain from his pawn shop. And then, when the Sibling Brothers offered Ford to let him keep the monster and become famous in exchange for photos that would prove Stan's guilt. And just to add an incentive, they threatened to frame both twins, if Ford didn't comply. Obviously, it didn't work.

According to thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com, that's also how he became friends with Fiddleford: on the very first day, he spent nine hours helping his new friend prove his theory. And in the Book of Bill, when Ford learns that Bill's home dimension was destroyed by a monster, his immediate reaction is to offer help with hunting it down.

Whenever someone's in distress, Ford really wants to help them out, and I don't know about you, but to me that doesn't sound like someone lacking empathy.

4. He's got no qualms questioning the status quo:

In Journal 3, Ford mentions traveling to Northwest Manor to confront Old Man Northwest with evidence of his family's deceit. Instead, he was met by young Preston, who wasn't impressed with his speech and forcibly escorted Ford from the premises.

Also in Journal 3, Ford wanted to debate politics with Reagan. Make of that what you will.

Now this one is more of a conjecture, but in the Book of Bill, this is how Bill compliments him: "Guys as smart as you come along once every century, and they scare the pants off of authority figures!" This lie wouldn't have worked, if it wasn't what Ford actually wanted.

And of course, learning that his former "muse" is one of the most feared beings in the entire multiverse, didn't stop Ford from going on a quest to defeat Bill. Even after witnessing other creatures shriek and cover their ears at the mere mention of Bill's name. Which leads me to my next point.

5. Calling him determined would be a massive understatement:

Forget his sleepless nights at college, forget his extensive research in Gravity Falls, Ford has spent 30 years, let me repeat that again, 30 years traveling across dimensions and looking for a way to destroy Bill Cipher. I haven't even been alive for that long! From the little we know about those years, they were anything but easy. In fact, Ford describes them as "frightening, exciting, cruel, and strange." (And of course, the guy actually does use the Oxford comma in his writing. Who would've thought?) Let me stress that Ford was under no obligation to continue his quest, maybe he could've found a quiet dimension to settle down and live peacefully, in fact, that's something he contemplates while visiting A Better World in Journal 3. But he decides against it. Not because he didn't want to, he literally says that he wanted to revel in his parallel self's success. Not because defeating Bill would get him recognition. It wouldn't, at least not in his home dimension, where no one is even aware of the danger. No, he didn't stay, because his own conscience wouldn't allow it. Ford just couldn't break his vow from 30 years ago, it's as simple as that.

And what does he do, when his plans fall apart? Does he even consider giving up? Of course not! In fact, he ends his tale of interdimensional travel with the following sentence: "My resolve to defeat Bill has never been stronger." It's almost comical, watching him throw anything he can think of at Bill and see what might stick. His battle in the Nightmare Realm was interrupted? He jumps through the portal to stop Bill's forces from entering his dimension. The portal created an interdimensional rift? He tries to contain it. Bill threatens to get his hands on the rift? This time Ford has two ideas: he tries to encrypt Dipper's thoughts and creates a mystical barrier around the house. The worst happens and the world is about to end? Well, get in loser, we're going to shoot Bill with Quantum Destabilizer. Ford misses and is captured? Not to worry, there's a Zodiac prophecy, we can give that a try. It doesn't work, because two grown men can't put aside their grievances for just a few seconds, gosh that scene is so frustrating to watch. Well, here is another idea: one can erase Bill with a memory gun as long as he's in someone's mind. I don't know what else to say, Ford really did his homework, when he set out to destroy Bill.

6. He has the patience of a saint:

Wow, now here's a controversial take. Remember Stan's "Beep boop. I am a nerd robot. That's you. That's what you sound like," which Ford just laughs off. Yes, that's what siblings do all the time. And yes, this teasing does come from a place of hurt. Stan was feeling like "the stupid twin," "a dumb idiot who screws everything up," so Ford felt like he just had to put up with this. But it's still hurtful to be mocked for your interests. It really feels like their relationship was already a little strained even before the Science Fair Project Incident.

What about the fact that he was the first to stop the fight in "Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons" and suggesting Stan might actually have fun, if he joined their game?

Or all the snide comments Stan made, when they reunited during Weirdmageddon, including "Well, he's lost his mind" and "You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?" All of which Ford simply ignored. Yes, he did correct Stan's grammar under the worst of circumstances, I agree, but you know, everyone has their pet peeves.

What people often forget is just how difficult it is to be a kind person, when you're stressed. It is much easier to treat people with respect and understanding, when you yourself are doing fine. So is it that big of a surprise, that someone who's under pressure, sleep-deprived and/or in pain might be more prone to outbursts? And we know how traumatic Ford's experience of being bullied as a kid was, how much suffering Bill put him through, how difficult his years on the other side of the portal were and how much pressure he was under, trying to prevent a literal end of the world. It's ironic that the people who blame Ford for his lack of empathy, really don't show him any empathy themselves.

7. Even under torture, he didn't reveal the equation that would've allowed Bill to take over the world:

Do I really have to spell it out? Look, as someone who was on the verge of mental breakdown from a simple toothache, I have nothing else to say other than: This is admirable. And he did it to protect the world that, need I remind you, wasn't particularly kind to him. On the same note, he just never joined Bill in the first place: not in the 80s, and not during Weirdmageddon.

"Oh, but he's the one who started the Apocalypse, so he kind of deserved it." Seriously? No, I mean it, are you being serious? Is that something you would say to a person suffering from diabetes type 2, that it's their fault for eating too many sweets; or to someone with liver cirrhosis that they deserve to suffer because of their alcohol addiction? Because this is neither appropriate, nor helpful. Talk about kicking someone when they're down...

8. He's fiercely loyal to his family:

I think the way Ford compliments his grandniece in "The Last Mabelcorn" is very revealing: "You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel." His very definition of a "good person" is "someone who supports and protects their family." Which is... interesting to say the least, considering that Ford has spent a very long time away from his family and completely alone. But it does sound like something he aspires to. That's why he goes out of his way to help his family out, whenever they're in trouble. (See point 3 for more on this.)

When Bill threatens the kids, Ford is willing to risk the entire universe for a slim chance that they might be spared. It's a cruel Trolley Problem, which once again proves just how much he values his family. Still, this is some Fate/Zero level angst and I don't want to talk about it more than I absolutely have to. Let's finish this up with something more lighthearted.

9. He's never lost curiosity and childlike wonder:

This! This is what made me fall in love with the man and why I'm wasting my time writing this nonsense in the first place. This allconsuming excitement, when he finds a new anomaly to study; this seemingly endless energy, when he explores new places; this pure joy, when he gets to play DD&MD with Dipper! I don't know how to talk about it without gushing.

Ford obviously loves games, and not just DD&MD. He plays chess with Bill. He mentions being great at charades in the comics. And what cracks me up the most: during Weirdmageddon, when Pacifica compared the Zodiac to a game of hopscotch, not only did not Ford get offended, but he replied: "It would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch." Ford, darling, the world is about to end, is this really the best time to contemplate a hypothetical game of hopscotch? Also, you've just been through something traumatic... Forget it, you've been through 3 decades of traumatic experiences, can you at least have the decency to become a tad more cynical as you age, like the rest of us. I guess, mirth really is the mail of anguish. (It's from Emily Dickinson's poem and the quote means that some people act cheerful to hide their suffering.)

Also, something Ford doesn't get enough credit for, mostly because people usually focus on his academic achievements, but he is quite creative. He draws incredibly detailed sketches not only depicting various anomalies he encounters, but also whatever happens in his life. (Probably off-topic, but I find the implications of that karaoke page so funny. Think about it: the guy sobered up, looked at the incomprehensible nonsense he had written the previous night and thought: "You know what? This could really use an illustration.") Also don't forget that he canonically plays piano. Yeah, if I were Stan, I'd be jealous too.

And of course, that's why he's so passionate about science. Sure, part of him wants the fame and recognition that would come, if he makes a big discovery, but you can't deny that he genuinely enjoys learning new things. And that he enjoys sharing them with whoever is willing to listen.

In conclusion, I'm not trying to say that Ford is perfect in every way and has never done a single wrong thing in his life. To be honest, that would've made him a really boring character. So, yes, he is flawed, and misguided, and sometimes insensitive. He's made a lot of missteps because of his upbringing, personality and, as many have speculated, neurodivergence. But I really take issue with people saying Ford's a bad person, when he clearly isn't. Ford is and always was a good person, and by the end of all the trials he became a better person. One who understands that the only way to success is cooperation, not being a lone vigilante. That it's not a weakness to ask for help or to need help in the first place. And that a sea otter shared is a sea otter halved.

That's strange... why did I write that?

oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

bunch of incorrect ducktales quotes

June, throwing their head into Doofus's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Doofus, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

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Huey: Your smile? It makes my day.

Violet: Your happiness? I live for that.

June: A room? Get one.

Dewey: Hotel? Trivago.

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Doofus: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Dewey: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

May: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Dewey: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Lena: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Dewey: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

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Gosalyn : Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Violet: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

Gosalyn : Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

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Louie: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Webby: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!