The Start Of A New Adventure

Dewey , very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Gosalyn : *half asleep* Dewey , this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

Marcy’s corrupted name is Darcy right?

Cool.

So when do Sasha and Anne get corrupted and get called Stormy and Icy?

i respect any opinion but unfollow if you are biphobic transphobi queerphobic or any phobic

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

amab yet possibly genderfluid confused on how i feel about this

plz guys im begging i need my tits to be bigger 🥺

Dewey duck headcanons

● Dewey knows how to cook not gourmet level cooking bucomfortjng homecooked meals he learned from Donald

● in highschool dewey basically pulls a troy bolton and joins both the basketball team and the musical and glee club

● Dewey builds his own plane to fly

● During one of their adventures dewey gains a sword and just becomes something he brings along everywhere and becomes a fairly decent swordfighter

● Dewey got to keep the sandals of hermes from Storkules and fight with it during adventures

Thats all for now

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

Reblog if you’d attend!!

Hey, yall. I read this fic before in Fanfiction.com or AO3, I'm not sure, and the plot is basically Bill tasking Mabel and the rest of the crew to retrieve objects, I think they're crystals? And he entrusted with them his fav/best soldier/assassin which is my fav boi Dipper, but the Pines don't know that and hate him on sight.

The Pines all assumed he was dead but actually Dipper was kidnapped along with other kids like Gideon and another girl Dipper befriended who had the ability to cast magic. Gideon has his own area that he's entrusted with cuz he betrayed Dipper and the girl who was attempting to escape.

Its a lot of angst and Pines bonding and I'm pretty sure Dipper dies in the end but there's an alternate ending where he doesn't. Also I think Dipper had magical tattoos that were significant to Bill?? But I can't remember since it's been a year since I've read it. I hope I gave enough details. I would be really grateful if anyone could help me out^^ Thank you!!