Patricia Lockwood Has Officially Completed 6 Years Of Her Full 1000 Year Sentence

Putting all tabletop players into a college level ethics class and forcing them to turn in a paper on moral philosophy before buying a new book

when you go to the gender clinic you can ask about being buried alive left to scream and claw at the lid of your coffin until you emerge into your real body & your real name but idk if it's covered by insurance

*walks out of the homoerotic friendship covered in blood and wounds* you should see the other guy

that was one of the shortest hospital stays of my life, but the highlight of the whole event is that i got the paramedics to read homestuck and listen to lemon demon.

sometimes a family is people dancing like drunken sailors lost at sea out of their minds who finds shelter somewhere in each other. they may be healthy and whole but you'll never guess what they have... poor impulse control

when i grow up i want to be myself

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

this is an attack on me today specially

*girl who wakes up at noon voice* how is it this late already

"childs is the thing!" "no macready is the thing" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER THE CREDITS CLEARLY SAY JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING