Honestly, Why Is The Only Language We Have For Sexual Trauma That Of Rape And Assault? There Are So Many

honestly, why is the only language we have for sexual trauma that of rape and assault? there are so many kinds of sexual trauma that are done a genuine disservice by trying to grapple with them using the language of rape.

there's "i consented to this for self-destructive reasons," there's "i didn't know what i was consenting to because i didn't have enough experience to tell that i would be upset by this thing," there's "i initiated something that i now regret," there's dozens, even hundreds, of sexual situations that are traumatic and that need community support and care and some real trauma work to heal from, that just aren't accurately described by the language we have to discuss rape.

and like, trying to shoehorn them in under the umbrella of rape and assault often does a disservice to the victims trying to heal--trying to cast a sexual partner as a malicious perpetrator retroactively is often really psychologically damaging to someone who is experiencing a complex trauma around an experience they consented to, especially when the trauma victim themselves initiated the experience.

More Posts from Lobotohmy and Others

1 year ago

you need to live to be a weird funny old person whos weirdness was not broken by a rigidly formal world and to do that you must be a weird you now and not be broken despite it all

1 year ago

good news i still have nipples

2 years ago

Fun history facts: One of the 31 people arrested at Stonewall on June 28th 1969 was American folk singer Dave Van Ronk, who was not at the Stonewall Inn at the time and was cis & straight as far as I'm aware. He'd been eating dinner at a nearby restaurant when he noticed a riot happening, said "Well I suppose I should go see what the fuss is about," stepped outside, and immediately started throwing bricks at the cops.

5 months ago

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

1 year ago

i love it so much when people consider me the chill one or the one who doesn’t give a fuck because it took a lot of fear and anger to get here

1 year ago

one thing about nick nelson is that boy is gonna be googling something

2 years ago

I saw a post a little while ago that I'll never find again, but it's still bugging me. It was written like a PSA about proper procedure for applying testosterone gel--mainly, how you're not supposed to let it get on anyone else's skin.

And that's correct. But the post went hard on it, like "please, please be aware of the risks of this medication, it can do so much damage to others if you're not careful, I just think we should be honest about the advantages and disadvantages of medications like this."

It could've been sincere, but it gave me concern-trolling vibes real bad and I can't get it out of my head. So here's my PSA:

Don't slap on your T-gel and then immediately rub your bare bicep on anyone.

Once 2 hours have passed, the remaining amount available to be absorbed is negligible. The med guide says to wash your bicep before you rub it on anyone, but even that's being extremely cautious.

Testosterone isn't poison. If you apply a full dose every day, it still takes months before anything noticeable happens. It's not going to kill someone who accidentally touches your skin for .5 milliseconds.

You do not have to handle T-gel like it's drain cleaner. It's not corrosive. Cis women have testosterone. It's a thing that humans have in our bodies. Avoid getting your medication onto anyone else, but holy shit nothing bad is gonna happen if you forget one time and snuggle shirtless.

T-gel is alcohol-based, so it's best to refrain from being on fire until it has dried thoroughly.

Don't put it on your dick. If you've ever accidentally or on purpose gotten IcyHot on your dick, you have an intuitive understanding of how the skin there differs from bicep skin. Also, the effects of testosterone gel don't localize like that and your dick is fine, I promise.

Don't eat it. I don't know why you'd want to, but don't.

Don't leave the bottle out around little kids on account of little kids being the way that they are, i.e., enthusiastic about potions.

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lobotohmy - insert alias here
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internet (and irl) cryptid. 21 — they/he — uk

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