Just An Everyday Conversation Between The Two Hawkeyes...

Just an everyday conversation between the two Hawkeyes...

On the phone...

Kate, dramatically flings herself onto the couch: You would not believe what happened today, Clint! The most awful horrible thing that I have ever seen in my entire life…and that’s saying something considering that I have lived in the city my entire existence and have actually-unfortunately-witnessed on several occasions people just pull their pants down and take massive dumps in extremely public places…like you’re just sittin’ on the subway and then-bam!-suddenly someone is doing their business and you can’t even leave because you are on the SUBWAY. MOVING. UNDERGROUND. And it’s like really man?—

Clint, exasperated: Kate! Kate! Get to the point, kid. What happened?

Kate: So, I took Lucky and Fanny for a walk today. A long walk, which we haven’t been on in a while because I’ve been soooo busy with the end of the semester and everything and Lena usually takes them out for their long walks. We were strolling down the sidewalk…it’s just starting to warm up here and I was thinking about how Lucky’s fur looks so gold and shiny…and then. IT. HAPPENED. He walked right past a half-eaten piece of pepperoni pizza! I’m not kidding, Clint! RIGHT. PAST. IT. Like it wasn’t even there! His favorite food! His damn namesake! And he walked right past it. Like STRUTTED past it with his nose up! Normally he would run so fast to get to it that he would knock down everyone on the block and myself included—there would be shouting and people flippin’ us off—and today nothing—it was so sad.

Clint: Let me get this straight. You’re upset that people weren’t shouting and flipping you off?

Kate, continues dramatically: No, Clint! I’m upset—no, disturbed, yeah disturbed is the word—that Lucky STRUTTED past a piece of pizza. He didn’t even glance at it. It is so sad what she has done to him. Corrupted him. He is so obedient now.

Clint: Kid, a dog can’t live on pizza. 

Kate, groans and proceeds to attempt at imitating Yelena’s accent: No, Kate Bishop. Do not feed him human food.

Clint:…

The door opens…and Lucky and Fanny bolt to greet Yelena.

Kate, sits up quickly: Lena! Hi! You’re home! Is that my hoodie? Lucky was so good on our walk today! Weren’t you buddy?! So good! I don’t know how you did it! It’s a miracle! He’s so well behaved!

Clint, rubs his hands over his face, exhausted: wOw. Just. wOw.

Yelena, leans down and kisses both Lucky and Fanny on the head, before she takes a seat next to Kate on the couch.

A few seconds pass...

Kate, pouts: Don’t I get a kiss too?

Yelena, turns to her with a frown: No, Kate. That accent was shameful.

Kate:…Shit.

Clint: Kate? Kid, you still there?