To Be Honest, I Don't Remember Who I Was Before You. You Consumed Me So Much I Made You The Reason For

The conversation I wish we would have

His chest was slick with sweat as I shifted against his side to pull the covers up around myself and finally ask the question that had been burning inside me since we had started sleeping together again.

Afraid to possibly face the rejection in his eyes, I pressed a kiss to his cheek before tucking my face into his neck.

“Who are we to each other?”

The hand that had been lazily trailing up and down my spine faltered. I wished I hadn't asked.

We had been strangers, friends with benefits, lovers, each other’s, estranged for a while, friends again, and now- now I didn't know how to label us. Didn't know if he wanted to label us.

To label us would make things real and complicated and messy.

Another moment is stillness and his hand resumed its path on my back.

“You tell me.”

His answer was a non- answer. An avoidance. A turn around.

“You know what I would like is to be. What I want us to be again.”

I shifted again to lean against his chest so I could meet his eyes now.

“What feels like forever ago, we stood in the kitchen, and I told you I had to say the words at least once.”

His hand tightened around my waist as I ran my hand up his neck to hold his cheek.

“I have to say it again. I need to say it again.”

“Then say it.”

“I love you. I am in love with you.”

“I know.”

sorry i unpacked all my trauma do you still wanna kiss

““Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.” - Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild”

—

She was just a mere photograph

In black and white

Only 17 and not a clue in life

He two years older

He showed her colours like gold and white

So she explored them with him

But she was gullible and blind

Trouble tied to his name

Little did she know he was just in it for the game

She had beauty and grace

But this wasn’t his first rodeo race

Lacking in self love

She thought she’d find in him

Ignoring flags of red

Because love isn’t a sin

Soon to learn the cold hard truth

That love is not always as it seems

He had a plan all along

To leave her crying on her knees

Asleep in the night

Oblivious he was gone

One shot from a gun

One cruel hit and run

He took all the money he could possibly carry from the store

Before placing the gun next to her

He wiped his fingerprints off

She wakes with fear in her eyes

To sounds of sirens and flashing lights

She wasn’t the first to pay for his mistakes

Because after all

This wasn’t his first rodeo race

-tamara-catherine

“I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say “I see you.” I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye. I don’t push it away. I own it. And because I own it, I let it go.”

— Carolina Zacaria

not really praying

talking to god in vowels but its too soft to make a difference

most prayers are shaped as consonants sharp-edged, crowded or out of place

I’m not really praying though, more like hoping ( I don’t like to throw things at intangible notions )

innocent wishes fluttering in the air, soft ducklings swimming in a deep black lake

most of these will be blown away or drowned

for the rest of them I provide my own securities

“Wild women are an unexplainable spark of life. They ooze freedom and seek awareness, they belong to nobody but themselves yet give a piece of who they are to everyone they meet. If you have met one, hold on to her, she’ll allow you into her chaos but she’ll also show you her magic.”

— Nikki Rowe, Fragile but Fierce: A Quote Collection (Balboa Press AU, May 28, 2020) (via Make Believe Boutique)

More about the TRAPPIST-1 planetary system

TRAPPIST-1 is an ultra-cold red dwarf star in the constellation Aquarius.

It has:

a mass of about 9% that of the Sun

a radius slightly larger than the planet Jupiter

surface temperature of about 2,560 K (2,290 °C).

It is about 39 light years (12 parsecs) from the Sun and is estimated to be about 7.6 billion years old, making it older than the Solar System.

TRAPPIST-1 is a planetary system. The main object of this system is a dwarf star much colder than the Sun named also TRAPPIST-1 and which I told you about above.

Comparison between the characteristics of the terrestrial planets in the solar system and those of the planets in the planetary system TRAPPIST-1.

Distance comparison between the planets in the solar system and the planets in the planetary system TRAPPIST-1.

At least seven solid planets, similar in size or smaller than Earth's orbit (about three-quarters of the Earth's radius) orbit this star.

FACTS

The planets may appear like moons in each other's skies

The TRAPPIST-1 planets are so close together that if you could stand on the surface of one, you might see some of the neighboring planets hovering above.

This artist's concept by Tim Pyle allows us to imagine what it would be like to stand on the surface of the exoplanet TRAPPIST-1f, located in the TRAPPIST-1 system

“Whoever invented smoothies is literally a god to me like thanks bich for enabling me to drink like 5 bananas this is what i live for.”

—