“I Wish I Knew The Right Words To Say When It Came Down To Writing About Someone Who Makes You Feel

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this is for all of you feeling guilt or regret

every single person has said and done things they regret or feel guilty about

and we think about it a lot and beat ourselves up over it

but what does that accomplish?

we can’t just pull a time machine out of our ass and go back in time and change the past

what’s said is said and what’s done is done

the fact that you are feeling guilty about it shows that you are a truly good person that knows right from wrong

there is nothing you can do to change the past, so you just have to move on

everybody makes mistakes, and then we learn from them

that’s just how life goes

live in the present. because that’s all you can do for the time being

now stop feeling regret and guilt, and go live your life

you’re doing amazing, and you are doing the best you can. stop being so hard on yourself all the time

we’re all just human after all.

Old people can"t understand when younger people are willing to cut a whole relative off. They have lived their entire lives in guilt or based on some sense of loyalty to someone based on blood. People will abuse you betting on that fact, just because ya’ll are blood that means you have to accept it. No, you don’t.

“I thought I was over you, but my walls slowly crumbled to the ground the moment I saw your face for the first time in a while.”

-Anonymous

“Nothing is harder than trying to find a reasonable answer to why my grades are falling. Nothing has been harder to me than trying to find a way to explain why I have no motivation. Don’t talk to me about challenging until you can sit in your room with everything you need to succeed but not feel the motivation to do any of it. I feel nothing and I don’t know how to stop it. Nothing has been harder for me than trying to force myself to care. I don’t know how to be what you want. I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. I can’t just change how I feel. I can’t just make it go away. It’s always going to be there. So I’m sorry I’m not succeeding. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. But you know what? I don’t think i ever will be. Because what you want is someone without scars and without pain. You want a daughter who doesn’t struggle and just does the right thing. That’s not me. I can’t just be perfect. I’m fighting this battle everyday to not put a blade to my skin, to not crash the car, to keep on living. But it’s not getting better and I dont know how to tell you in a way that you will understand”

— A second letter to my mom for the reasons why

Me: are you okay?

FP: Yeah! I'm good!

Me: no, are you sure?

FP: I just said yes

Me, internally: they're lying to me because they hate me.

anyone else get in that place where you kinda feel like crying but no tears are coming out, and your sad but your not really sure why, and you just really want someone to hold you and tell you everything is gonna be alright cause you feel really lonely, but you don’t want to bother anyone with you problems so you just kinda sit there holding yourself in the dark.

abandonment issues are fucking painful. i hate that the dumbest shit makes me feel like a small, helpless, confused and abandoned kid. it makes me feel like i’m all alone in this universe. it just fucking sucks.

Something people don’t understand about child abuse

One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.