Hey, It’s Okay To Be Bitter.

Me: I really miss my FP

BPD: your FP hates you.

Me: what? no, that's not true

BPD: you miss them. you keep texting, begging for validation, which they provide. you aren't satisfied, you text again. you text some more. you apologize. you're overbearing, annoying. you ask if you're being annoying, which is, in itself, annoying. they hate you.

Me: holy shit you're right im so sorry

BPD: don't apologize that's manipulative

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life.”

—

“Now I know I’ve got a heart because it is breaking.”

—

L. Frank Baum

Even in the same town, the same house, the same bed- we were always going to be in different places.

Poetry At Most

“His eyes are beautiful, captivating. It’s incredible how much eyes can tell you. They can show the pain that they’ve been through and the joy that they feel. They can be glazed over like glass or shine like stars. His now shine, even more beautiful than they did before. And they always captivate me, every single time. They always surprise me with how beautifully they glow. They make me feel comfortable, I can look into them for hours on end and try to watch the stories of his mind unravel. I like to listen to him talk, I like the way that he says things differently than I. I love how with every word he says he has me begging for the next one. Every time he speaks it’s as if all the gloomyness of the room around us has faded, and we have entered a land of paradise. His words are so gentle, planned out quickly in his mind. Oh how I wish that I could talk as calmly as he. I love his body, I love how his hips fit between mine. I love holding him in my arms because I know he’s safe from the world’s harms. It’s nice to stroke his sides, I like to glide my hands along the soft surface. His body is homely and when I am connected with it I feel calm. His hands fit perfectly with mine as if he were a missing bolt in my creation. And the way his nose will wrinkle when he frowns. His laugh is gorgeous, not the little chuckle he makes when I pull a silly face but his real laugh. His heart felt laugh, it’s truly something spectacular, it’s as if it is a melody and it has surly become my favourite song. To see him cry with laughter is a moment I am content, knowing that he his happy. He makes me feel safe, when with him I feel at home. It doesn’t matter where I am, as long as he stays by my side through the morning and the night everything will be alright. I want to travel with this man. I want him to see my favourite places, the little nooks and crannies all around the world that I have fallen in love with, I want him to fall in love with too. I want to share my secret places and I want them to become his secret place too. I want take him to the palace of my mind, I want him to be able to see the beauty that I do when I see him, I want him to understand the feeling of wholeness I get when he is near. I want to share everything I love with the one I love.”

— Home 03.08.16

+20lbs and no relapses in 11 months. Bye bye anorexia, you’re canceled. 💅❤

you know when youre on the edge of an emotional breakdown and your throat feels tight so its hard to swallow , to breathe - and your chest feels like its being crushed by an enormous weight? yeah i hate that

I still believe we’ll get our second chance…

emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.