Important Reminders: 

Heartbreak is when you’re trying to move on but they keep popping up in your dreams and say the words you’d wish they’d say.

dreaming of you again (via sinfulxo)

“I don’t miss you precisely. I miss having something to do on Friday nights, and someone’s arms to crawl into. I miss being a part of an us. And that’s an awful reason to hold on - being so afraid of being with yourself that you’ll give yourself to anyone else. We always hurt more than we healed and yet, I still find myself missing you. Loneliness takes us places that love doesn’t.”

— L.A.L. || Loneliness takes us places that love doesn’t

You know what? Not liking my body will not stop me from taking care of myself. I will paint my nails regardless of my chubby fingers and I will put on a face mask even if my face is round like a ball.

Maybe I don‘t like what i see in the mirror, maybe I never will, but taking those little baby steps always make me feel better about myself, they feel like I actually use my potential, and I won‘t let my negative body image take that away from me.

stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.

I can’t tell if you’re just treating me like a friend or something more than that and it’s driving me mad

You may have left me physically, but you never left my thoughts. I still ache, waiting for your presence. I would do absolutely anything to have you in my arms, I don’t see you coming by, so I let you live on inside my imagination. The sad truth is that I love someone that I could never be with. That’s what hurts me the most.

“I just want to hold his hand while he’s driving. I want to scream along with him to the words of our favourite songs. I want the early morning kisses, and the goodnight ones, too. I want to wrap my arms around him when he’s sad, and I want to fall asleep on his chest. I want to make him breakfast and bite his lip and ruffle his hair. I want to cuddle up with him on the couch and watch our favourite movies. I want to lay in bed with him after a whole night of pillow talk. I want him when he’s sad, when he’s happy, when he’s angry, when he’s nervous… I want to make this boy the happiest he’s ever been. I just want to be his girl.”

— i want to be with him (np // january 1, 2019)

I really don’t like how society demonizes crying. You’re seen as weak or manipulative if you shed any tears at all about anything. People look down upon you if you cry, or think you’re “faking for attention.” Even in the media, a character learning not to cry is considered good character development, and a character who does frequently cry is portrayed as weak or cowardly. 

The truth is, crying is one of the healthiest coping mechanisms humans have for stress. It’s been scientifically proven that the chemical composition of emotional tears (compared to basal and irritant tears) purges stress hormones from the body and produces a relaxing effect at a biological level. It’s also nonviolent (more than can be said for the more socially acceptable anger response). Humans evolved to cry for a reason. 

If one isn’t allowed to cry (if they would be shamed/abused for it), the stress hormones will build up and cause illness later on. They will have to force themselves to cry because their first instinct will be to repress the tears. They wouldn’t be able to cry in front of people anymore, either. 

Go ahead and cry if you need to, for whatever reason. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. 

Me: I really miss my FP

BPD: your FP hates you.

Me: what? no, that's not true

BPD: you miss them. you keep texting, begging for validation, which they provide. you aren't satisfied, you text again. you text some more. you apologize. you're overbearing, annoying. you ask if you're being annoying, which is, in itself, annoying. they hate you.

Me: holy shit you're right im so sorry

BPD: don't apologize that's manipulative