It's No Big Surprise You Turned Out This Way

The gang at a restaurant

remus: HAS to sit next to james otherwise he will fucking combust; doesn't order any food but steals from everyone. literally every single fucking person; always orders sprite as a drink because he has no clue what all other drinks are all about

james: sits next to remus otherwise he (remus) will disintegrate; orders food but 3 quarters of it gets stolen so he ends up sharing lily's food

lily: ALWAYS has to sit between marlene and mary (marlene on her right mary on her left); shares her food with james (rip james); is only able to drink juices at restaurants otherwise she'll explode

marlene: sits on lily's right so she doesn't have any other neighbours; orders the fanciest shit to ever exist; drinks coca-cola because why not

peter: sits next to james because he doesn't really have any other place to sit; orders pasta because pasta is like instant noodles but way fancier; drinks fizzy drinks EXCEPTING fanta (peter hates fanta so fucking much; idk why)

sirius: always sits at the head of the table; orders what a normal person orders; ✨fizzy drinks✨

cas: sits at the other head of the table; always orders things you can find at the corner shop every day; drinks ✨milkshakes✨

mary: sits on lily's left; orders seafood everytime there is seafood in the menu; fancy beer shit like raspberry-flavored beer

regulus: knock knock james: who's there? regulus: when where james: when where who? regulus: at 9, astronomy tower, me and you james: james: please kill me

hey, wanna talk?

i handled what?

i’ve been through a lot 🥺

Let me know what you guys get :D

@sir-sleeve-ripper @dontcallmeashlynn @karlimogenthau @aroseharder @lokis-knives @sherlockisactuallyagaysname @beer-dont-sleep @xximaweirdoxx @wholesome-dragon-lady

Headcanon time!

james died before euphemia and fleamont did

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

"Good fuck, I hate Meadowes!" Marlene growled, throwing her broom in a corner of the locker room.

"Why are you so angry, Marley?" the team's keeper asked. "They even let us beat their asses up, again!" He exclaimed jovially, high-fiving James.

"All she fucking does is try to fucking distract me" Marlene rolled her eyes. "Plus that she's not even hot, so it just makes her look stupider than she is."

"Seems like someone's angry!" the seeker gasped with a smile, trying to mock Marlene's very plausible thoughts. "Or rather jealous."

"Zip it, Erikson" Marlene hissed.

"Yeah, she's batshit." the keeper nodded. "Why so rude, McKinny?"

"Do NOT make me throw a bludger at you, Miles. Also, I am not rude."

"Oh, come on, Marlene!" James groaned. "What's your problem with Cas? She's a nice girl!"

"Oh goodness. Dorcas, Dorcas, Dorcas! James, are you dating her or what?" Marlene asked impatiently, starting to tap her foot.

"No!" James said back defensively (in Marlene's jealous opinion). "Come on, Marls, the fact that you don't like her doesn't mean that anyone that does is making out with her in broom closets."

"Well, Marlene would be in the closet for Meadowes!" one of the chasers laughed and high-fived the rest of the team. "In more than one way!" he finished, making Marlene blush a "bit".

"Haha, very funny. I'll excuse you, Kristen. You fucking stink." Marlene rolled her eyes.

And, oh my god, what was the team's problem with Marlene? They have been bugging her with 'The Meadowes' thing for ages now! How could they ever insinuate that Marlene has a crush on a Slytherin little crap? She did have the most giant and gay crush on Dorcas, but that wasn't their business anymore.

music, books and my mutuals 🌸💕

choose 3 thungs that make happy and put it in your mutuals box for them to get to know you

i hope you saw the post on my alt, @alexsimpss

it is me, indeed

plus, thank you all for almost 90 followers

if yall could go follow my alt up there    👆👆👆 i would be really happy

it indeed is alex here.

charlie does not exist

deal with it

@jamiesimps GET REKT

Remus, as a teacher: you see, Severus, as the brainless immature assholes we were as young people, I do think that we have changed to better. And, for what's worth it, I like having you around. Snape: no, you don't. Remus: Remus: fuck, you're right. Remus: sometimes I have dreams where I castrate you.