Not Me Walking Into Oxfam For Some Fun Secondhand Clothes And Leaving With A Screaming Vase, A Bearskin

not me walking into Oxfam for some fun secondhand clothes and leaving with a screaming vase, a bearskin rug, a chandelier, a massive gramophone, a rocking horse, a leaky grandfather clock, a defaced encyclopedia, several abstract paintings, two soiled crinoline dresses, a chaise longue filled with sand, a taxidermied vulture, a rusty printing press, used medical equipment, some sort of leather kite, a curved brass telescope, a wheelbarrow full of shifting fossils, an armful of swords, a few lengths of rope, a bathtub full of moldy food, a stack of old dental retainers, a brace of half-butchered pheasants, a jar of pickled hands, a diving suit full of sawdust, a broken picnic hamper, a bloodstained china set, a jar of imperial coins, and a gun.