There’s Like. There’s Probably More This Is Just Off The Top Of My Head.

we need to stop doing litterary analysis....... like maybe kafka just litteraly turned into an insect who are we to tell him that he didnt

i’m losing my mind

I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.

I’m not intersex and I’m not deaf and I don’t have a TBI or a learning disability or schizophrenia but I still care very deeply about issues that affect these people because nobody deserves othering and social ostracization just for being born and being alive and having a body or neurology that is different from others

me saying I can’t control my volume bc I’m autistic and ppl being like “okay well no matter what some people might view your loudness as aggression especially if they have triggers.”

babes I’m well aware that being autistic affects the way people perceive me in ways that are detrimental & socially isolating LMAO you don’t need to explain that to me. i say that with empathy & understanding to people who can’t be around loudness genuinely but it’s so funny to be like “I have an autistic trait I cannot control that doesn’t align with social politeness” and ppl saying “okay well I hope you know some people won’t like you.”

YEAH!!!!

count dracula? um, okay. 1. now what

As a kid, I wasn't taught any concept that there's a difference between wanting to do something, and enjoying it. I was a largely unsupervised kid with undiagnosed ADHD and parents who expected their kids to just raise themselves on their own. So when I was capable of spending hours drawing or reading a fun book, but couldn't even remember that I had homework, ever, I was told that I simply didn't want to do well in school. And who was I to question that, I'm eight years old.

Enjoyment and passion were the only forms of motivation I knew, and if I couldn't make myself either love doing boring math homework as much as I loved my hobbies, or force myself to push through things I hated with sheer willpower alone because I want to succeed so bad, then clearly I was simply not as good as all the other kids, who could do that. And that attitude carried onto adulthood. Every time I struggled to muster genuine love and passion into something, I thought that I just don't want it badly enough. Not to enough to love it, or to suffer through it.

Being medicated for the first time was a game changer. Like holy shit, so this is your brain on dopamine. And suddenly I wanted to do things, turned my life around, took up the passion career I had never dared to try. And when the first "honeymoon phase" of the meds wore down, the same fear came back - I don't like this anymore, do I not want it bad enough? What else could I possibly want?

And I shit you not I was literally 30 years old when I understood that life isn't just either loving every minute of pursuing a passion that you love, or joylessly dragging yourself through things that you don't even want to do. I can just tell myself "just because I don't like doing this doesn't mean I don't want to be doing it." It's not a mark of failure, weakness or lack of motivation, if sometimes the career you want to be doing just feels like having a job.