New Fandom Level Unlocked: I Officially Have An AO3 Account.

#oh boy #i forgive Ramin for so much based on how he acted out this one moment

Ripped my beating heart out of my body.

A particularly devastating clip of Michael Crawford, featuring not one but FOUR “I love you”s and his voice breaking. Los Angeles, 1990, with Mary D’Arcy and Reece Holland. 

Was completely unprepared for JRox to snatch my entire soul and now I'm just...unsettled. How am I supposed to sleep?!?!

Gifset dedicated to Davis Gaines's legs...and hands...and everything else.

An Essay on ALW's Erik

One of the best insights I got into ALW's Phantom from some random Reddit user is to watch for whether the lead plays Erik from his own POV or from Christine's, especially in MOTN. (I also add a third option because several actors also play him from the perspective of the audience or a more omniscient narrator.)

These approaches result in entirely different, but no less accurate, interpretations of the character. For example, Earl Carpenter's performance from the first lair to the final lair is entrenched in the Phantom's perspective, from the total anxiety he projects in MOTN, to his more hesitant physical engagement with Christine, to his decision to kneel/silently beg Christine to stay with him during the ring return. And I love that there's variety within this perspective as well. Carpenter uses this POV to portray a very earnest and sympathetic (if unscocialized) Erik, but I'd argue that Anthony Warlow also falls within this category even though he leans into the darker aspects of the Phantom's psyche.

I have favorite Phantoms in both categories, but I admit that Christine's POV is actually what hooked me to this musical. I got deep into Phantom boots after losing my dad in my 20s and watching an engagement fall apart under the strain of grief. When Erik is viewed or portrayed (à la Hugh Panaro) through Christine's eyes, you can see the character undergo a pitchy transformation throughout the musical as Christine works through her own relationship to men while grieving and coming of age. Erik initially presents himself to her as a father figure, then as a full-on seducer in the first lair, and then as a total monster. The story is in part about Christine's journey toward reconciling these different ways of perceiving/relating to masculinity in the absence of what had been the only male figure in her life. And the musical approaches resolution when Christine realizes that Erik is neither her dad, her lover, or a total villain--he's just a man. And he's worthy of compassion, but she can also choose to leave him.

Anyway, I hate when people say that it's inaccurate for Erik to be "X" or "Y". Because especially through the lens of Christine's journey, Erik is all the things at one point or another (or even simultaneously). He is a daddy-coded immortal messenger and a genius and sex incarnate and unhinged and broken and, and, and...a literary figure shaped by the internal worlds of the author, the reader, and the viewer/listener. What's the point in trying to make objective claims about him? Resist binary thinking and make literary and media analysis great again.

I went to dinner and when I checked my phone a little later my best friend was live tweeting the Phantom boot I gifted him. Suffice it to say...I think I've converted my first person to the phandom.

I started him out with the 25th anniversary performance and then proceeded to give him comparative highlights of Hugh Panaro, Earl Carpenter, Davis Gaines and Norm Lewis to give him a sense of scope. Then built it out with others. Sprinkled in information about canon and the different Erik/Christine types and ranted a lot about hands and my personal tastes.

And then I gave him a Lucy St. Louis boot bc I suspected he'd like her and I asked him to share his thoughts afterward. Now his takes have me screaming because I've totally indoctrinated him.

"She was good, but I didn't like this Phantom. His ILY was weak! The hands weren't right. DO YOU WANT HER OR NOT BRO??" I warned him about the post-COVID fall off but now he's blaming me for setting him up with high expectations and declaring his allegiance to the 2000s era.

And he's already abbreviating POTO.

I'm so damn proud of myself (and him) lol.

“No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and that I might gaze without being disturbed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily to his face… I looked, and had an acute pleasure in looking - a precious, yet poignant pleasure; pure gold, with a steely point of agony; a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless.”

— Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre (via undergroundoutofsight)

Phantom Acting Choices That Live in My Head Rent Free (Part 3)

Final lair edition because this scene alone has permanent residence in an entire area of my brain.

When Davis Gaines and Stephen Buntrock take "this face which earned a mother's fear and loathing" up an octave. If you got the range, flaunt it I guess.

Hugh Panaro absolutely torments Raoul. Why are you waving at him from the other side of the portcullis? Why are you singing "raise up your hands to the level of your eyes" like that?!

The way Ian Jon Bourg and Kevin Gray scream "I love you."

The way Hugh Panaro whispers "I love you."

The way John Cudia fumbles "I love you. I--" in his performance with Sarah Lawrence.

Honestly there are no less than fifty Phantom I love you's that play in my head at any given moment. I'm obsessed with extra ilys.

But also Earl Carpenter saying "fuck an ily" and just dropping to his knees to offer Christine the ring again like the sad wet cat he is.

David Shannon screaming "No!" when Christine says "you deceived me."

Phantoms who lean their cheek against Christine's hair between kisses (shout out to Ben Crawford, Laird Mackintosh, and Jonathan Roxmouth, this is an underrated 2020s calling card).

Any Christine putting their hand to the Phantom's cheek during the kiss. Common West End staple, but bonus points if a Phantom reacts to it (Ramin, Earl, David Shannon, etc.)

When Sierra Boggess turns back to look at Erik one last time during the 25th anniversary performance and RK gives her that slight nod like, "Go ahead, it's ok." Kill me.

Lucy St. Louis staring down Killian Donnelly's Phantom through the portcullis while she (supposedly) sings "share each day with me" to another man.

It's over now, the music of the night. Laird Mackintosh, April 16, 2023. [X]