"The Only Person Who Sees Jude For Exactly Who He Is, Is Malcolm..." "..and Jude Hates Him For It, Jude

hanya yanagihara lives in my head. she just gets it, and people don't like what she says because she doesn't sugarcoat things, she tell stories of tragic lives and unspeakable lives. People want and need to have an optimistic sight of life when that's not always the case. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you work on yourself and how much you hope and how much you try, things that happened to you can't be heal or forget and the best you can do it's trying to live with it the best way you can, to accommodate the life that's left.

Things don't magically get better.

i work in a bakery now… hate it and love it when there’s another parallel to jude in my life😍

[ 𝐈 ] 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞.

[ 𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧

𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝: 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞; 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

[ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲? 𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤).

𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞, 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐦.

[ 𝐈𝐕 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

𝐱=𝐱, 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬. 𝐱=𝐱, 𝐱=𝐱.

[ 𝐕 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

'𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬.'

[ 𝐕𝐈 ] 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞?

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲?

[ 𝐕𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

'𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲', 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. '𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮.'

'𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞', 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝.

i just went to see a little life recorded for the cinema and i’m actually so heartbroken!

jude:

i am a BPD jude truther idc

yeah there’s no way

your card declines at therapy and they bring jude and willem during the happy years in (you can’t save them)

Your card declines at therapy and they bring out Harold’s “in everything I see, I see him” monologue from Lispenard Street II

jude’s childhood and trauma was not unrealistic OR outlandish, i suffered it daily and millions of others did too. you are so lucky to be able to think that, and to have never come across some of these people, but monsters like that really do exist

quote that blasted me across the room first time I read it