"No, No You Cannot Keep Her With You 24/7 Or Not Expect Her To Do Things Of Her Own. My Wife Isn't With

You mean THE BEST ANALOGIES EVER.

Never mind, full regrets, someone brought a bedazzled jug of milk.

Ah, time for my most least favourite thing: a party. Don't you love standing in a crowd and yet feeling entirely isolated? Stay tuned for more incurable introvert and socially anxious thoughts.

(Just gonna put this here, hope you don't mind the addition)

The next human Danny comes across is an old man in the kitchen. He had scurried away from the random office or whatever it was when he heard the whirring of an elevator (enhanced hearing for the win. Except for when it was overwhelming) and had followed the next source of noise. The old man seemed to be cooking dinner or a late night meal depending on whatever time it was. Danny was currently just a Little Guy, he really couldn't care less after having his nap.

The old man looked down at him. He looked up. They maintained eye contact. The old man raised an eyebrow. Danny flicked his tail. The other eyebrow rose up to join the first. "I see Master Damian has a new... companion," the, apparently British, man said. He also didn't get called a pet, good. He may just be a little guy who enjoys cardboard boxes and avoids higher thinking skills, but he wasn't a pet. "And when's the last time you've been fed, little one?"

Fed? Food? Danny wagged his little tail and gave his cutest expression. Widen the eyes, furrow his little brows just so, "Mrrp?" He asked, trying to convey his utter starvation and how he was just a little guy, had never ever been fed, he mostly ceartinly didn't eat before starting his vacation. British Guy simply nodded and turned to whatever heavenly smelling thing he had in his pot.

Danny pawed at British Guy. He wanted some! British Guy gave him another raised eyebrow. "I may be unfamiliar with your species, but the general rule is no hot chocolate before allergies are ascertained,"

Danny whined pathetically. He was just a little guy! And if it wasn't for him, then who was it for?

Traffic light kid, out of his traffic light uniform, came skidding into the kitchen.

"Pennyworth! Have you seen-" Green eyes locked onto him. "You!" Yes, him, who still wasn't being fed! The rest of the family(?) chose to burst in at that moment. Danny wanted a vacation, not whatever this is!

Danny had been planning this vacation for months, and Ancients did he plan to make the most of it. His friends and parents all agreed to keep Amity safe while he’s gone for the summer, and he had Clockwork to tell him when it was time to portal back home. As he floated towards a natural portal in the ghost zone (because it’s far more fun when the destination is a surprise), he began shifting his form. He had been dealing with so much both as a human and as a ghost. School, fights, teen drama, hunters— but not this summer! This summer, it’s going to be different! He won’t have to worry about human or ghost problems, because this summer, he’s not going to be either! He’s going to be…

A Little Creature™️.

He doesn’t use his “compact” form very often, since it dampens his powers and takes away his ability to talk. But, on this vacation, he won’t need his powers. He can just wander around an unknown dimension, steal some food, sleep in a cardboard box. If he actually needs to be human for something, he can switch back no problem. But honestly? It’s fun being a little guy, even if being a little guy does make him kinda stupid. (He got stuck in a cardboard tube the first time he went into his little form. He was stuck for half an hour. Didn’t even think to phase out of it. As soon as he was pulled out of the tube, he went right back in and got stuck again). Plus, he can stay in this form for an incredibly long time— he doesn’t even switch back when he’s hurt! (Which no, it was not fun to learn that, but good to know)

Shifting into his compact form, Danny slips through the portal and finds himself wading through a big pool of stuff that seems like ectoplasm, but slightly to the left. Like yeah, it’s technically ectoplasm, the same way a carton of milk set out in the sun for three days is technically milk. Not fun to play in, horrible to eat.

As Danny pulls himself out of the gross, bubbling “ectoplasm” pool, shaking himself off, he sees some sort of big fight going down. Bunch of people with swords, some big guy dressed as a bat, some kid dressed as a traffic light. He considers stepping in for a moment, but… no. This is his vacation. Not his dimension, not his problem. Just be a Little Creature™️. He sees a bat-shaped piece of metal at his feet. He knows exactly what a Little Creature™️ would do in this scenario.

He hits it.

Then he hits it again.

Then he hits it again, and again, and again and again and again and he grabs it and bites it and rolls around with it and tail slaps it and bites it and bites it and bites it and bites it and then he almost gets stepped on.

Danny looks up from his toy to see the kid dressed as a traffic light staring down at him. The kid tries to grab the toy away from Danny only to be met by the fierce batting of his little paws. The kid moves his hand close a couple more times, and each time he’s fought off valiantly by Danny’s little paw smacks. He’s not sure why the kid looks like he’s smiling when he’s so clearly losing this battle. The kid gets distracted by the guy in the bat costume calling out to him, and Danny takes this opportunity to continue biting the bat toy, rolling with it and biting it and batting it and biting it and why is he being carried away by the kid.

Danny looks around and sees that the kid is carrying him into a big plane being piloted by the guy in the bat suit. Then he’s shoved under the kid’s cape, and he doesn’t really see too much for a few minutes. He chirps at the kid, and is met with a soft yet quick “shhh!” He waits until he can feel the plane they’re in take off to peek out of the cape and look out the window.

He can see the large pool— though it’s more of a pit, now that he sees the whole thing— that he arrived through, as well as a bunch of people running away from it. Not sure why though, it’s just a bubbling—

Ah.

It blew up.

… Danny hides a bit further in the cape, clutching his bat toy a little tighter. He wound up in a very comfortable position, which made him just… a little sleepy…

Danny woke up wrapped in the cape, held by the kid, surrounded by a shocking number of people all yelling something about a “tiny pet pit demon.”

i hate how you get desensitized to the cool stuff in your WIP if you've been writing it for a long time so when you read back over it you're like "this isn't as cool as i thought :(" but it still is! you just read it too many times

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!

Jason is kind of in shock. The kid makes puns and nerdy little references and seems to take joy in being Robin. Is this the ghostly personification of his childhood dreams and innocence?

Tim was four days into a sleep deficit so he felt that to say that this predicament was his fault was a bit of a reach.

For it to be his fault he would have had to cognizant of the last 16 hours.

All he wanted to do was take a power nap in the nearest closest durring the Waynetech gala but nooo Bruce had to be taken hostage by the Joker.

So he did what he thought would work best and shoved uncle Clark into the nearest emergency bat storage and told him to suit up.

Maybe he looked a bit more confused than normal but they didn’t need a reporter they needed Batman!

That being said wasn’t uncle Clark supposed to be off-world?

Oh no.

———————

Jack honestly had no clue what was happening for the last six months so when he was told to be Batman he merely just shrugged as the frankly exhausted teen left him to his own.

With his son turning out to be part ghost to the government hunting down his said son and having to move shop halfway across the continent.

This might as well happen.

Grinning like a kid on Christmas, Jack plopped on the finishing touch.

“Oh Danno is not going to believe this!”

Raising a cloaked arm with a flourish Jack struck a pose.

“Alrighty Jack enough messing around! Time to save the party, Fenton style!

Shifting his feet, Jack took a deep breath before smoothing his face the best he could. After all, couldn’t have a smiling Batman! Before walking out the room and taking running leap through the wall to the streets of Gotham before grappling to the nearest building.