Sometimes I Need To Remind Myself That I'm Writing Fanfiction For Free And I'm Allowed To Have A Shitty

There’s a theory that early Europeans started saying “brown one” or “honey-eater” instead of “bear” to avoid summoning them, and similarly my friend has started calling Alexa “the faceless woman” because saying her true name awakens her from her slumber

English has an avoidance register used in the presence of certain respected animals, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s spelling out w-a-l-k and t-r-e-a-t in front of the dog.

Mx. Leah Velleman on twitter

A few words to describe Voices

Angelic (Light, soft, calm and considered very beautiful.)

Breathy (Speaking with a lot of audible breathing.)

Brittle (About to cry.)

Croaky (Sounds as if the one speaking has a sore throat.)

Dead (Showing absolutely no emotions.)

Flat (No tone, or in other words, not going up and down.)

Grating (Laughing, but in an annoying/unpleasant way.)

Honeyed (Nice sounding, but untrustworthy.)

Husky (Deep and hoarse in a positive sense.)

Low (Either used to describe quiet or deep voice.)

Monotonous (Boring and unpleasant voice. Changes neither tone, volume nor speed.)

Nasal (Speaking “through the nose”.)

Orotund (Loud and clear.)

Ringing (The same as orotund, loud and clear.)

Rough (Not soft, rasp/hoarse but usually in an unpleasant way compared to husky.)

Shrill (Very high, loud and unpleasant.)

Singsong (Rhythmic, melodic.)

Smoky (Rasp, usually used for a sexy and mysterious sounding voice.)

Thin (Very high, to an uncomfortable degree.)

Throaty (Deep voice and speaking “from the back of your throat” as the word says.)

Wheezy (Speaking while having trouble to breath.)

Wobbly (Nervous, frightened, not confident or about to cry.)

“I’m going to collect 100 of each chem. Psycho. Jet. Hydra. Turbo. Buffout. Mentats. Alcohol. Med-X. Hotkey them all. And try to do all the chems as fast as possible. What’s the worst that could happen?“

Fallout Confessions

the signs as things my dad has said

Aries: i will fight anyone that eats my toast

Taurus: where did i put my glasses, i need them to see

Gemini: i may be asian, but i cant fix your iphone

Cancer: i cried at the end of despicable me two

Leo: it was a very good pun, you should’ve been there

Virgo: whats the English word for “the horses that spin around with music” 

Libra: what is “hella”? 

Scorpio: i want cheese fries, where the hell are my cheese fries

Sagittarius: dont talk to the dog like that

Capricorn: can you reach that for me, i am very small

Aquarius: “anime”?

Pisces: you have to go to bed early because you smell

Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe? 

Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity. 

Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens. 

a pal asked me how i drew teeth so i made this quick lil mini tutorial on how i do it!! this is by no means a professional tutorial and im still learning but i hope this might b helpful to some!

WARNING!!! 

THIS CANDY IS NOT CANDY. IT IS DRUGS DISGUISED AS CANDY. IF ANYONE YOU KNOW CARRIES IT, TAKE THE CANDY AND THE POLICE OR THROW IT AWAY IMMEDIATELY. REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE.

Writing Traumatic Injuries References

So, pretty frequently writers screw up when they write about injuries. People are clonked over the head, pass out for hours, and wake up with just a headache… Eragon breaks his wrist and it’s just fine within days… Wounds heal with nary a scar, ever…

I’m aiming to fix that.

Here are over 100 links covering just about every facet of traumatic injuries (physical, psychological, long-term), focusing mainly on burns, concussions, fractures, and lacerations. Now you can beat up your characters properly!

General resources

WebMD

Mayo Clinic first aid

Mayo Clinic diseases

First Aid

PubMed: The source for biomedical literature

Diagrams: Veins (towards heart), arteries (away from heart) bones, nervous system, brain

Burns

General overview: Includes degrees

Burn severity: Including how to estimate body area affected

Burn treatment: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degrees

Smoke inhalation

Smoke inhalation treatment

Chemical burns

Hot tar burns

Sunburns

Incisions and Lacerations

Essentials of skin laceration repair (including stitching techniques)

When to stitch (Journal article–Doctors apparently usually go by experience on this)

More about when to stitch (Simple guide for moms)

Basic wound treatment

Incision vs. laceration: Most of the time (including in medical literature) they’re used synonymously, but eh.

Types of lacerations: Page has links to some particularly graphic images–beware!

How to stop bleeding: 1, 2, 3

Puncture wounds: Including a bit about what sort of wounds are most likely to become infected

More about puncture wounds

Wound assessment: A huge amount of information, including what the color of the flesh indicates, different kinds of things that ooze from a wound, and so much more.

Home treatment of gunshot wound, also basics More about gunshot wounds, including medical procedures

Tourniquet use: Controversy around it, latest research

Location pain chart: Originally intended for tattoo pain, but pretty accurate for cuts

General note: Deeper=more serious. Elevate wounded limb so that gravity draws blood towards heart. Scalp wounds also bleed a lot but tend to be superficial. If it’s dirty, risk infection. If it hits the digestive system and you don’t die immediately, infection’ll probably kill you. Don’t forget the possibility of tetanus! If a wound is positioned such that movement would cause the wound to gape open (i.e. horizontally across the knee) it’s harder to keep it closed and may take longer for it to heal.

Broken bones

Types of fractures

Setting a broken bone when no doctor is available

Healing time of common fractures

Broken wrists

Broken ankles/feet

Fractured vertebrae: Neck (1, 2), back

Types of casts

Splints

Fracture complications

Broken noses

Broken digits: Fingers and toes

General notes: If it’s a compound fracture (bone poking through) good luck fixing it on your own. If the bone is in multiple pieces, surgery is necessary to fix it–probably can’t reduce (“set”) it from the outside. Older people heal more slowly. It’s possible for bones to “heal” crooked and cause long-term problems and joint pain. Consider damage to nearby nerves, muscle, and blood vessels.

Concussions

General overview

Types of concussions 1, 2

Concussion complications

Mild Brain Injuries: The next step up from most severe type of concussion, Grade 3

Post-concussion syndrome

Second impact syndrome: When a second blow delivered before recovering from the initial concussion has catastrophic effects. Apparently rare.

Recovering from a concussion

Symptoms: Scroll about halfway down the page for the most severe symptoms

Whiplash

General notes: If you pass out, even for a few seconds, it’s serious. If you have multiple concussions over a lifetime, they will be progressively more serious. Symptoms can linger for a long time.

Character reaction:

Shock (general)

Physical shock: 1, 2

Fight-or-flight response: 1, 2

Long-term emotional trauma: 1 (Includes symptoms), 2

First aid for emotional trauma

Treatment (drugs)

WebMD painkiller guide

Treatment (herbs)

1, 2, 3, 4

Miscellany

Snake bites: No, you don’t suck the venom out or apply tourniquettes

Frostbite

Frostbite treatment

Severe frostbite treatment

When frostbite sets in: A handy chart for how long your characters have outside at various temperatures and wind speeds before they get frostbitten

First aid myths: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Includes the ones about buttering burns and putting snow on frostbite.

Poisons: Why inducing vomiting is a bad idea

Poisonous plants

Dislocations: Symptoms 1, 2; treatment. General notes: Repeated dislocations of same joint may lead to permanent tissue damage and may cause or be symptomatic of weakened ligaments. Docs recommend against trying to reduce (put back) dislocated joint on your own, though information about how to do it is easily found online.

Muscular strains

Joint sprain

Resuscitation after near-drowning: 1, 2

Current CPR practices: We don’t do mouth-to-mouth anymore.

The DSM IV, for all your mental illness needs.

Electrical shock

Human response to electrical shock: Includes handy-dandy voltage chart

Length of contact needed at different voltages to cause injury

Evaluation protocol for electric shock injury

Neurological complications

Electrical and lightning injury

Cardiac complications

Delayed effects and a good general summary

Acquired savant syndrome: Brain injuries (including a lightning strike) triggering development of amazing artistic and other abilities

Please don’t repost! You can find the original document (also created by me) here.

Dennis bullshitting his way through mass