You Know What I Want? A Temporary, Heartbreaking Damien Return. Dark’s About To Kill Us But Is Stopped

Made a Darkiplier Playlist, if anyone’s interested.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXTbogGI5MFHsOLVc8ECZ5FS8MSeU_Uu9

A/N: I smell a fandom fire! What a good time for some nicely roasted angst!

Dark knew what this feeling was. He was all too familiar with it, wasn’t he? All the same, the familiar panic began to rise in his throat, and he stood suddenly at his desk, before grunting and hunching over it, one hand slamming down into the surface, cracking it in an attempt to steady himself, but it felt like the world was spinning.

It was very fast this time.

“Dark?”

Oh, no. No, Wil, you don’t need to see...

But Wilford was leaning heavily on the door frame, bubblegum-smile missing and face pale, eyes wide and deathly scared. Dark knew that look.

“It would seem it isn’t just me,” he said softly, trying to come around the desk to join him, but this caused the room to turn sickeningly on its side. He slid to the ground with a groan. Wilford made an effort to come to him at the same time, and collapsed to his knees halfway there.

“What’s happening? What’s...?”

“We’re dying, Wilford.”

The tears that had already been forming leaked out and onto his cheeks as he whispered, not even strong enough to summon his usual smile, “It’s...but it’s all a joke, isn’t it? It’s always been a joke, hasn’t it?”

“A cruel joke,” Dark agreed, slumping further onto the ground. He vaguely made out Wilford collapsing fully, heard him wheezing. “It’s not fair...it’s never been fair.”

They were quiet for a moment.

Suddenly, Wilford chuckled, and the sound of it brought real tears to Dark’s long-dried eyes. He didn’t know he could still do that. How interesting.

“Not quite the blaze of glory I had planned, is it, Dames?”

“So you do remember.”

He’d have nodded if he still could have. He couldn’t even see anymore, really. Vague, grey and blue and red shapes. He didn’t know if Wil could still hear him.

“Thank you, William.”

“It’s been my honor. Damien. Celine.”

There were no other words. Everything went black.

“Dark? I have some new concepts to go over with you, and we need to discuss this week’s schedule.” Bim knocked on his door, and was surprised when it gave way under his hands. Frowning, he stepped into the office.

It was oddly empty. The fire was still burning in the white marble fireplace on the far end of the room, and there were papers sitting on the desk, as if someone had been halfway through them and been interrupted. The chair was pushed back carelessly, and the thick rug was wrinkled in one corner.

Bim walked slowly over to the desk and picked up one of the papers. For a moment, it looked as if he were reading and old article, the tabloid headline stating “MURDERS AT MARKIPLIER MANOR REMAIN UNSOLVED”.

And then, the page was blank.

Bim wondered why the egos never used this office. It was nice, save for the broken desk and mirror, very stately. Fit for a politician.

Perhaps Google would like it. Always best to offer the boss the best spot in the building, and his current room wasn’t nearly enough. Why had they stuck him in that little side room again? Why had he let them? Maybe he liked the privacy.

He wandered off to find him, feeling vaguely as if he’d forgotten something important. But he was sure it was nothing.

Thanks for the recent love on my Anti theories, and on my Schneep story. You guys are so sweet. :)

Do You Trust Me? Epilogue.

“And I will see all you dudes...IN THE NEXT VIDEO!”

You laughed as the outro music started playing, dropping your arms and rubbing your throat. How does Jack do that every day? God, his vocal cords must hate him. Flicking through the comments, it made you grin to see so many people chatting about the game, a few people yelling the catchphrases. There were even a few good puns this time, that was nice. You were staying for the outro clip again, lately having gotten into the habit of staying just a little longer, out of some slightly silly hope. You commented on every video now, sliding subtle references to your adventures into every one, hoping that Jack would see it. Even if you knew you couldn’t reply, it was nice to think that Jack was in his room, seeing your words in the code and thinking of you fondly. “That was another good one, Jack. Though I must say, that shark’s getting the better of you. Your raft’s gonna need to step it up, man,” you rambled absently as you flicked to another tab to finish a fanfic you were writing. After all, that adventure was too good not to be told, wasn’t it? And you thought it might entertain Jack to see it written up. You wondered if he’d show Mark.

“Really now? Three stories of raft isn’t good enough for you?! It’s fantastic!”

You flicked back to the video so fast you almost closed it out by mistake. “Jack?” He grinned in surprise, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “Hey!” You couldn’t help but smile back.

thanks for the mention, my dudes!

Hey! You help run the WKM theory blog right? Do you have the old summaries of the episodes bookmarked somewhere? I've been trying to find them

Well, there are a few from a few different people, and I can’t seem to find any of the Chapter one things, but I hope this list is helpful! 

Chapter 2:Ironwoman’s theorySong’s theory

Chapter 3: Em’s theory Ironwoman’s theory@likepuppetsonastring’s theory, with links to their previous theories at the end.

Chapter 4:Em’s theoryIronwoman’s theorySong’s theory

@wkm-theories archive is here if you want to dig around through the other posts and theories not tied to specific chapters. Most of those above were written before the explanation livestream, and when the livestream did come, Song kept track of all the answers given in these posts:Pt. 1Pt. 2Pt. 3

I hope this was helpful! 

Song = @thedundundunnnsongEm = @valleyofroguesIronwoman = @ironwoman359 (aka, me)

wilford: i have made robot me: you fucked up a perfectly good wilford is what you did. look at it. it’s got overwhelming guilt and remorse for its actions

Could you maybe pretty please write even like a short idea on how you think corroded crank would realise they like somebody romantically and how they would deal with finding out their feelings were reciprocated?

Ohhh, interesting! I haven’t thought about CC in ages, I’m glad you brought him up. :)

(I’m going with him IDing as male because he’s modeled after Ethan, in the same way that Google IDs as male because he’s modeled after Mark, just so you get my reasoning there.)

I think Corroded Crank would be confused at first, because he doesn’t think he’s capable of attraction. He’d probably go to Google to ask about it, and Google would explain that androids are generally programmed to replicate and imitate human emotion in order to blend in to society more fully.

He’d probably be attracted to someone who’s kind to him, because he’s so unused to that, being under Dark’s control. He’d like someone who’s clever and witty, and doesn’t mind that he’s broken. Someone who isn’t scared of him when he breaks further or his programming malfunctions and he becomes dangerous. But I think he’d be terrified, because he wouldn’t want to hurt them. He’d probably end up pushing them away, trying to protect them.

When he found out that they liked him back, I think he’d be shocked. He’d ask them why they liked something like him, he wouldn’t understand. He would think that because he’s not human, no human should like him in that way, or in any way at all. But that person would probably tell him that he’s close enough to human, and just as nice as any human could be. He’s a person in all the ways that count.

I think that would be the day he discovers that not only can he feel, but he can cry, oil leaking from his eyes in a slightly disturbing but overall endearing display.

This is giving me one shot ideas hmmmmm.

          Let Gallifrey Go             

The mountains glow dark crimson tonight, Not a Time Lord to be seen. Just me and Koschei left now, While our friends are caught between…

My head is spinning

with these choices in my mind… Do I leave and run, do I stay and die?

What can I do, What can I say? Push the button,  Run and save the day?

Condemn them all,  All them but me? Why is it me?

Allons-y! Allons-y! I’ll just run away, I’ll be free!

Allons-y!  Allons-y! I’m not Rassilon’s devotee!

This Time War has to end… I can’t save them all…

We’re all just stories in the end.

I’d never thought I’d see the day It came to this… The Daleks and the Time Lords wiping one from existence…

I need to find a way to do What no one else is willing to, The Moment’s come, it’s down to me! Why me?

Gallifrey! Gallifrey! In the Time Lock where you’ll stay!

Gallifrey! Gallifrey! Where your crimson peaks are stained!

I’m the last of a doomed race Cursed for all of time…

I tried so hard to find a way to stop it all To be a hero and to save them from the burning fall… But now that’s over, now it’s done, now it’s all through! I’ve locked it all away, they’ll never come back through!

I’m alone!  I’m alone! I’ve locked away Gallifrey!

I’m alone! I’m alone! Was it worth the price I paid?!

I did what I had to do! Couldn’t save them all…!

I’ve said my goodbyes to Gallifrey…

So I just created an AO3 page (Kittenbedtimestories) and it’s only been up for a day with my old fic on it, and people are being so nice?? Like I’m 100% about to cry with how sweet people are being about these random old stories I don’t think much about. I wrote them for fun, just because, and I’m so happy that people like them. :)

hello @space-pot8o​! amateur fan historian here, and i just wanted to say that while authors of the original work aren’t necessarily keen to read fanfiction for legal reasons, there’s a big community of us writers who are more than happy to read your work!

that includes me, i love Crowley/Aziraphale!

Hi Mr. Gaiman,

Recently I’ve been trying to change how I interact with the world and take a more active role instead of just watching and waiting for things happen. I’ve realized that if I never ask the answer will always be no, and I feel like knowing that I tried is better than wondering “what if” for the rest of my life. So here goes: Not long ago I wrote my first ever piece of fan-fiction. It’s short, only around 3k words, and it’s about Crowley and Aziraphale feeding the ducks. Would you be willing to read it and give me your opinion? I understand that you probably get requests like this all the time, but like I said, at least I know I tried. I hope you are doing well.

Well done! I'm the wrong audience for your fan fiction, though. You should put it in front of people who read fan fiction and enjoy hearing what they say about it.