Yeah Sex Can Be Good With The Right Person But It’s Usually Not Worth All The Bullshit That Goes On

i just burned 1200 calories (i forgot the pizza in the oven)

I was really expecting to get rickrolled

Scientists discover most relaxing tune ever

Sound therapists and Manchester band Marconi Union compiled the song. Scientists played it to 40 women and found it to be more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay. Weightless works by using specific rhythms, tones, frequencies and intervals to relax the listener. A continuous rhythm of 60 BPM causes the brainwaves and heart rate to synchronise with the rhythm: a process known as ‘entrainment’. Low underlying bass tones relax the listener and a low whooshing sound with a trance-like quality takes the listener into an even deeper state of calm.

Cashier the other day: “have a nice night!”

Me failing to load one correct response from multiple possibilities: …….“YOUP!”

White boy: what are you doing now haha

Me: shower

White boy's inner monologue: you fool! You've activated my trap card, "Without me? ;)" it will send your patience card to the graveyard and dock you 1000 life points!

Photographed by Natalie Boog

I wanna take a moment to talk about an awesome, unsung badass: Doug Jones.

Doug Jones. The name doesn’t ring a bell, does it? Probably not. But I’m here to tell you that this bitch is fabulous.

He started out as a mime and a professional contortionist. He got into acting and has acted in over 25 movies and numerous television shows. Still doesn’t ring any bells? Probably because Doug’s gig is characters and crazy ass costumes and shit. 

Here’s a picture of him:

Still not look too familiar? Well, maybe you saw Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer?

Doug Jones.

Or, are you a Buffy fan? Remember the episode “Hush”?

Look familiar now? He’s the one in the front.

Did you like the movie Pan’s Labyrinth?

Doug Jones.

Doug Jones.

Did you like the Hellboy movies?

Doug Jones.

Doug Jones.

Doug Mother Fucking Jones.

Or, hey! Were you born in the 90’s? Remember the movie Hocus Pocus that would play on Disney Channel every halloween? Remember this guy?:

Yup. Doug Jones.

Still not convinced of how badass this guy is? Here’s some awesome for you.

It took him 5 hours to get into the Pale Man costume in Pan’s Labyrinth, and, once in it, he could only just slightly see out of the nose holes, but he was mostly blind.

And the costume for Fauno himself? Well, he could only just barely see out of the nose holes in that one, too. The actual head part was filled with mechanics that made the eyebrows and ears move. And those mechanics were so loud that he couldn’t hear while inside of it, so he had to memorize Ofelia’s lines as well as his own so that he could say them in his head to know when to talk. Oh, and he doesn’t actually speak any Spanish at all, so he was memorizing both his, and someone else’s lines in a language he couldn’t speak.

Doug Mother Fucking Jones.

Werk. 

me: LMFAO!! B Y E

friend: oh ok! see you later…

me: