The Force Awakens

Don’t scroll past this. Kylie Armstrong was diagnosed with breast cancer and these small dimples were the only signs. She posted the image on Facebook so everyone knows that “that breast cancer is not always a detectable lump.” Here’s how Kylie is doing today.

(If you’re not sure how to do a self breast exam, instructions can be found at BreastCancer.org.)

Carol of the Bells played by basketballs

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

I always thought it was funny that your player character in Pokemon is 10 years old. Like, yeah, they’re “anime ten” where they look at least 18 yadda yadda, but they’re still ten.

Imagine the people in the Pokemon League. These are fully grown adults, right? They’ve trained their entire lives to be the best trainers in their country. They’re the best of the best. And then a ten year old walks in. A high and mighty four foot tall ten year old with a big smile on their face walks in. They’ve never even seen a tity. They don’t know where babies come from. They’re ten.

How did this ten year old get in to your arena? Did they wander in here by mistake? They say they’re here to battle you. Aww, how cute. This kid wants to fight the big league trainers, so they snuck in to fight you. That’s cute and funny. You’ll tell the others about this next lunch break. You decide to humor the kid and accept their challenge. You toss out your level 50 Tyranitar. You and this Pokemon have spent decades together, you trained for ages to get it to Level 50. You’re the best trainer in the country.

The kid reaches on their belt and tosses a Master Ball. Wait, what? A Master Ball? How did that kid get a Master Ball? Out of the master ball pops…

God.

God popped out of the Master Ball. 

The very same God Pokemon that controls the flow of space, that you go to church and pray to every Sunday. 

This ten year old kid just pulled out a Master Ball and threw God at you. God is, in fact, Level 73. 

God shoots Hyper Beam at your life-long partner Tyranitar, causing it to evaporate in to dust. He’s fainted in one hit. The kid yawns.

The kid wipes your entire party of Pokemon, the Pokemon you spent most of your adult life training and caring for. You are stunned. You ask the trainer how long they’ve been doing this. They say “I started a couple of days ago.”

This kid is ten. 

A limerick:

Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score Plus three times the square root of four Divided by seven Plus five times eleven Is nine squared and not a bit more.

*finishes eating a ½ lb burger* wow. that was truly the minecraft of sex.

Hey, D&D players!

A Facebook acquaintance of mine is working on her PhD, which involves studying the experiences of people – and particularly women – who play Dungeons and Dragons. (Yeah, she’s living the dream.) As part of her research, she’s passing around three surveys.

1. Main survey (open to all D&D players; takes about 10 minutes tops)

2. This survey asks people about their characters - very quick

3. Finally, this survey is aimed at non D&D players.

Please pass these around – let’s help this fellow nerd get a robust dataset!  (2/11/20)

@randomitemdrop​, @prokopetz​, @dungeonqueering​, @battlecrazed-axe-mage​, @yourplayersaidwhat​, would you mind signal-boosting?

remember when you used to go over to your friend’s house and you’d go down to the “computer room” to the dad’s old shitty desktop computer and sit on the giant black leather computer chair and your friend would show you charlie the unicorn and epic rap battles of history type of stuff on youtube while their younger siblings bugged you for a turn to use the computer