Do You Ever Get Mad At Yourself Because Youre Not Even Good At The Things You Thought You Were Good At

For the record, I will never reblog “judging you so hard if you scroll past this” posts because that’s a sign extremely manipulative behavior and is reminiscent of abuse. I don’t care how good the post is. I don’t care if I agree with it 110%. I’m not reblogging it.

The more adventuring a knight does, the more banged up his armor gets. So if you get rescued by a knight in shining armor, you probably got rescued by a really shitty knight.

Cashier the other day: “have a nice night!”

Me failing to load one correct response from multiple possibilities: …….“YOUP!”

life goal? glad you asked. i take up jogging. eventually i start running. day and night. nonstop grind until i hardly break a sweat. i train a little more each day until my stamina is at its maximum possible limit. i start uploading videos of myself running to youtube. people all over the world are mesmerized by my speed and talent. i catch the attention of usain bolt, the fastest runner in the world. he offers to train me, to unlock my full potential as a runner as i lack professional experience. once he starts training me, i learn the ropes of competitive professional running. under his guidance, i am unstoppable. i start entering in local tournaments and leave my competitors in the dust. i win tournament after tournament until i make it into the olympics. here’s where the twist comes in. i throw the race on purpose. i take dead last. after the olympics, i go back to running in regional and eventually national tournaments. i win again and again. finally, i make i to the olympics again. i throw the race again. i build up a reputation as a runner who thrives until she makes it to the olympics. i repeat this cycle of tournament > olympics several times. finally, once more, i make my way to the olympics. i’ve built up my reputation to the point that everyone knows who i am. all eyes are on me. finally, it’s my time to shine. as the gun goes off and the race begins, i naruto run to the finish line and take gold. this was all a lot funnier in my head.

tfw the lord of the fiefdom you are a serf under calls you a stinkard and you come up with a clever retort a day later but he would have you executed and it doesnt matter anyway because youre not literate in latin and traveling to his keep would take at least a fortnight so you just keep working the fields like you do every day

I’ve never been so satisfied watching a bearded dragon eat blueberries. 12/10 must watch!

bong joon-ho after winning an oscar for best screenplay

Don’t play with my emotions

Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass