COMING SOON [speakers Blow Out] TO OWN ON DVD [children Scramble For The Remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic

the other day I was taking a walk when I saw this old guy trapped under a cart. people were trying to help him but it was too heavy so I stepped forward and lifted it off him (I work out a lot.) then, this old police inspector told me I had to be a convict because of how strong I was. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “it’s 1815. anyone can be strong, including non felons, women, and gay people. the only person who’s weak here is you.” he started crying and gave me fifty crowns while everyone clapped, even the nuns

PLEASE HOLD STILL, CAT, I AM TRYING TO ASSIST YOU

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Anime Opening (I’m so sorry)

they called them DIY, but they were difficult to do yourself, they called them lifehacks, but they didn't make anyone's life easier, they called them 5 minute crafts, but they took extended periods of time to do

now i propose they call them CTSO videos, which stands for "Check That Shit Out" videos. no expectations. no standards. "this dude just made a windmill out of old dog toys i can't do that!" no one asked you to. just watch him do his thing. Check That Shit Out. "somebody just covered a toothpick with 48 layers of flex seal spray to make it a giant toothpick and i don't have nearly enough time for that." who asked if you had time. you aren't doing it. Check That Shit Out. "why did i just watch a video of somebody line up 30 gummi bears and then melt them with a blowtorch and then dip the congealed mess into maple syrup and then put it inside their air conditioning unit?" oh there was absolutely no reason. they didn't need a reason to do that. Check That Shit Out

In 2018, we up our usage of the word groovy by 500%

of course im familiar with the seven deadly sins!! the munchies, super pissed ,  naps, thinking yr hot shit, thinking your friend is hot shit and being mad about it, capitalism, and big sexy