And I felt it— the weight that kept me in bed, a heavy stone on my back.
My mom had paid hefty fees for private school, but even that couldn’t make me smile— or, to say it right, help me understand myself.
Worse, my dad loved me, but even with what others yearned for, I was no happier than them.
So, in my bed, I realized— I had to find myself, to accept myself, to love myself first, before the other loves could truly reach me.
And maybe then, I could pursue the happiness I wanted. As hard as it might be, the stars had assured me— it was a hopeful gamble, maybe.
I am losing my religion Only to find God.
i am losing the preacher man's address only to find the scripture's directions.
i am losing all hope only to find my life beautifully wovened from the start to end by God.
Losing and gaining, losing and gaining.
God, the divine architect of justice and fairness.
My prayers, oh God,
seem to be answered
by the devil.
When I prayed to make my momma proud,
she was taken instead.
And when I asked for the voices
inside me to quiet,
they raged,
trying to burn this
little brain of mine,
ordering me to do
things,
things that could drive me insane.
God,
should I pray in an opposite manner now?
We live between
bad choices
and worse ones,
and we choose the bad,
hoping that at least
we shall survive.
Mere survival is what
alot of us sometimes
sleeplessly
struggle for.
I have to realize that
anything I do now
amounts to something greater-
a good sleep,
an understanding that I am human
after all,
a walk through quiet forests.
All these things
are of great help to me,
even when they earn me none
of the dimes
that are often needed
to pull myself out of this abyss.
They wanted me to become a man who fights for his respect. But I became a man who respects himself. And that’s how I became awkward— and I loved
that
kind of awkwardness.
Peonies on caskets. It's all yours. your wait your study. Engulf in your time and if it kills them you can as well send them condolence messages and lovely peonies to be put on there caskets.
Death will find me dead.
Fear is long gone.
Lies Of There gods. Am sorry !? NO, but a god that tells me to do what's real to me differs not from a marriage that encourages me into a threesome or worse a gang bang.
We shall die but not this night.
This night is us on a bed in a rose garden looking at the stars laughing at the odds that had thought we couldn't meet and love and laugh and last.