“mm, Who Knows. It Would Have Been More Interesting If She Had Thrown The Chocolates In His Face.”

You are lashing out because you’re too sensitive. Yes, I was narrow-minded for a short while. Get over it.

໒꒱ . LGC’S CHARITY CONCERT # 2024  、

in hindsight, if lili knew where she would be assigned to perform — maybe she would have chosen songs that were better suited for the environment. singing about loneliness in front of five year olds in a language they were less than acquainted with was not what lili had pictured when she had submitted her song lists to the coaches all those weeks ago.

if they had been given the heads up, maybe she would have thrown in a few more dance songs rather than singing about a love yearned or a love missed. lili had definitely missed her target audience by a long shot. a part of her wishes she had traded with someone else from day 1 — now, it was too late to wish, much too late to regret.

and without much thought of much else — it wasn’t like she had much choice to do anything other than what she had prepared — she lays her regrets in the back of her head. her confidence shot, her song choices shoddy at best, she was at odds with herself by the time it came for her last time at the mic.

as she’s begun her final song — had watched as the kids’ eyes rolled to the back of their heads at her last song — she could already imagine the chorus of internal groans at how another slow song was ready to leave her lips.

and yet, she carries herself as she’s always done; her confidence had always been something as strong as a mountain’s will; nothing could truly shake her, even if her crowd was less than thrilled at her song choices, she sings as if they’re all dying for an encore ( instead of the other way around ) — the heartache in her voice probably going over their heads — but she learns, as the last of the song departs her; the mist in the eyes of the center’s employees is hard to miss her gaze. and with that, lili is satisfied.

at least, lili could say she touched someone’s heart this holiday season.

so much had changed in the scheme of hosting. rather than the direction of lines being read and executed, not only were they expected to improvise, they were also implored to do so with an ease of a natural — even if the language spoken was far from your native tongue.

even more so, in these cases.

all while being as confident as possible when faced with the barrel of a red-lighted camera, airing live to thousands across the nation. and worse — millions across the world. 

it’s these types of pressures that didn’t bother lili — but the fact that they acted like they were doing a service to them. improvisation of a music show scene was beyond a day’s work — unless your goal was to be a host at the end of the day and well, since lili didn’t like to call herself a all-rounder for nothing.

( truly — lili was just complaining to complain )

but in today’s case, as she sits next to kyoka and looks at the other’s notes once more — unprompted and concerned — she tries to tweak the frown on her face, “how did you feel about the lesson?” she asks, after having looked over the other’s notes, and having seen all the question marks. “it was kind of a lot, right?” 

Kyoka’s not a complainer. She happily does what she’s told unless there’s something else that catches her attention, in which she then gets distracted. But that’s beyond the point. Point is, rarely does she ever feel upset or slighted with what’s expected of her.

What that doesn’t mean though, that she never has any negative emotions. Like now, pure confusion and maybe a teensy bit of frustration creeping in too.

What, a whole script for a music show scene? Wasn’t a music show hosting just a simple who what where when why? Who changed that format? What happened to it? Where did this new expectation come from? When did it become a thing? Why?

Ah… too much thinking, not enough answers. Her brain is turning to mush, she can feel it already.

Kyoka is still staring at her notebook, eyes already glazing over when a voice knocks her out of her trance. “Huh? Oh, ummm yes,” she squints at her notes, which really was just a row of question marks and nothing else, “my notes. Yes, they’re my notes.”

ONLY HOTTIES SHARE A BRAIN CELL. must lili say more? — @lgcmaylin

time flies and once october comes knocking, lili’s favorite holiday is nearly here — second to her birthday, of course. ( and that’s nearly a month and some away )

shocker, lili loves being a scream queen — it was practically her birthright but with the proposed concept for the party, this time, she finds herself struggling to wrack her head for a costume that would fit the bill. it wasn’t like lili spent her time playing games — not when her grandmother practically left no room in her adolescent schedule to actually enjoy her adolescence with adolescent things like, well, video games.

and while she’s at least heard of the games — she can’t say she can recall a character from the top of her head except that weird italian plummer and lili had already deemed that he was decidedly unsexy and well — she wanted to be the opposite of that.

can you say mamma mia!

“i want to dress sexy this year … is that too much to ask?” her eyes scan the halls, halloweek had chanced upon them without so much of a hello. the white rabbits stuck to miscellaneous things were the crumbs to the game — a bit much considering she had more dire, sexy problems to handle. finding one hidden in the crack of a door, lili rolls her eyes as she reads the ‘take me’, letting the card sway back and forth caught between her fingers. “do you have any idea of who you’re going to be for the party?”

໒꒱ . MODELING GIG # 003 _ AURORA REVIEW 、

one would think that lili’s first thought of being selected for a model for a brand would be of course it would be me — but you could not be anymore wrong.

she is surprised, so much so that she doesn’t believe it at first. 

being selected as a brand model is an honor — not a right — truly a privilege bestowed upon her by some higher power — was it jisoo? or had it been pure luck? — that lili had no hand in. and this is what stumps her — the go-getter in her is baffled that such a prestige just lands in her hands. 

( because lili knows —

seen it,

lived it,

had the deepest of traumas to prove it,

nothing is really that easy )

putting her feelings into words had never been easy. even now, she has yet to exclusively apologize to jisoo for things she knows she’s done, and if she were being honest, she probably will never really give him the apology he deserves. so, asking to put her feelings on the matter into words as so under the guise of reviewing the video of the brand’s overall concept as done through the eyes of its creator, lili may be a little less obliged to speak.

but — since it is lili — she has things to say, even if she doesn’t truly wish for them to be said.

“i like it.” she says at first, as if testing out how the compliment tastes on the tongue. it’s not bad — maybe because it’s not ingenuine. “it has an understated elegance that you would usually feel with an older standing brand.” a remark that flatters the brand for understanding its roots and not straying from it. 

“han jisoo-씨 has quite the eye.” would she have utter it to his face? would he hear these words from others? would lili have preferred it if he did? “i’m glad i was given the chance to be a part of this, i don’t know what other brand i could identify more with. i might even buy something for my grandmother.” another keepsake her grandmother would say she cherishes only to be thrown to the back of her wardrobe with the rest of lili’s unnecessary gifts to the matriarch. 

“or maybe i’ll buy one for myself.” a testament to a triumph she'd like to remember for later.

thank god it’s not the ugly burger outfits she had seen during the briefing. it was the least they could do — hitting rock bottom in terms of stage outfits shouldn’t be a given, not when they were already putting their vocal chords on the line with the atrocitious catallena screech.

( honestly the sound alone had begun to haunt her in her sleep )

she steps towards the selections, cycling through the arrangements with a pursed lip — fingers flipping through the outfits with an discerning eye, noticing that the names had, in fact, been hung alongside the attires. oh, it was as bad as she had feared. 

“i hate to be the bearer of bad news.” she didn’t, it was probably one of her favorite things to do — but this was maylin, and lili couldn’t help but have a soft spot for the girl. so, she chooses to ease her into the burn — if one could call it that. “but — alright,” turning away from where she had spotted their name tags alongside the outfits, she takes maylin by the hand and corners her attentions.

“would you rather be a tuna nigiri or a salmon maki?”

 not that it would matter, but wasn’t it more fun to build the suspense?

the silence came rolling in, along with the carts of hats that stared back at the girls. maylin could have sworn she saw sparkles for a split second. while the others were giddy and filled with excitement to wear such clothes and perform on a stage that would be broadcast to the public, maylin could feel her blood temperature drop for a second.

talk about the digital footprint.

the brunette's arms dropped to her side in sudden disbelief. she figured this round of costumes would be a bit more unique and different, though, this was as unique as it got and with how significant it was for the actual song - there was no avoiding her fate. "i truly can't believe i will have to talk about this exact moment when we all debut. we'll never live this down." dramatically, yes, but every word that came out was true.

"do you think we get to pick out which outfit we want? that would at least allow me to not feel so burned."

໒꒱ . WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITY # 002 _ IDOL JAPANESE: THE EVALUATION 、 aka “LILI, CAN YOU TEACH ME JAPANESE?” I SAID 「はい、はい」

the unfortunate thing about all this is that when pushed, lili pushes harder.

and lili wouldn’t call what they did pushing, per say. unless you could call dangling lili over a cliff with nothing but herself and ichika as a safety net below her pushing — then so be it, they pushed her.

because lili did not like to be pushed around.

despite the practices for that nostalgia show the girls were all participating in, she had this on top of it — and lili was no stranger to overachieving and doing too much in order to appear as pristine and as put together as possible. even if it meant, forgoing necessary ailments such as sleep and food, lili was going to prove them why they shouldn’t push lili to do things.

in the grand scheme of things, the evaluation comes in a blur — her prepared speech, ran through and corrected by ichika with alarming quickness is something lili can only warrant from her own neck-breaking determination to get things done right. even if she had gone into this workshop not knowing a lick of the language — she could at least call herself somewhat knowledgable — if not, able to say more than yes. 

she goes through the motions, remembering the sounds of the vowels — trying to not trip over them as she slows her words, carefully, because the more she quickened her pace, the more she stumbled over them. taking a breath, and with another smile, she begins — in a banter with her partner, thank god at least they knew what they were doing, while lili felt like she was still dangling from that tell-tale cliff, searching for a savior. 

the breath helps, it eases the nerves tickling the back of her neck. her smile used like a shield in the midst of a battle against herself and the evils who had put her in such an uncomfortable position. never had lili felt this unprepared — even if she had spent every waking moment of the past three months preparing for just this — she still felt uneasy. 

was this is? 

her fall from grace?

( finally tumbling her from  her overly egotistic, completely arrogant pedestal that no one but she had put herself upon? ugh, the ground would probably hurt from a fall like this, wouldn’t it? )

these are things she keeps in her back pocket for later — for when she’s to complain about her downfalls and her supposed weaknesses to jang insung — a laundry list, really, of her woes and why she still doesn’t quite understand why she was placed for such a workshop. 

sure, she learned japanese — but at the end of the day, lili only did so because she had felt undermined, so really …

who was the winner in all this?

lili wouldn’t think it was she — begrudgingly, least said and never something she’d say out loud, it had put another notch on her otherwise ridiculously overachieving and accomplished belt — at least, she wouldn’t admit to it as so.

the date lottery is far from lili’s reality — if anything, it’s her very own acting reel that she needs to polish up. and lili ain’t no actor — but what she is is competitive. so, she plays the show like how she plays her most precious, most interesting of games.

the more she can make the viewers believe that she’s falling for minkyu and his charistmatic charms — and vice versa — the more rewards she hopes to reap. ( whatever rewards may that be —  it keeps things interesting ) at any rate — from the subtle twinkle she spies in minkyu’s gaze; an unspoken agreement seems to form extended from their previous verbal wager — at least they’re on the same page.

“you’ve never skiied before?” the declaration would have otherwise bothered lili — why else would we be at the slopes if you don’t know how to ski? but she remains patient, calming that irritating little devil in her in favor for the calm and tranquil persona she was trying to portray; her brows furrow in a gentle confusion before her lips form a precious smile, almost amused at the thought.

“well, you’re in luck. my grandma has brought me to the slopes almost every winter without fail,” her grandmother had brought her once and left her to fend for herself with strict russian instructors. “so you could say i got a lifetime of snowledge.” kill her — kill her now. her smile brightening despite the cringy dialogue, trying not to laugh at her own demise as she looks to minkyu.

“i’ve been told i’m a good teacher, too.”

no one has ever — on this earth — told her such a thing.

her surprise is paused — a slow lift of the brow as she watches minkyu descend upon one knee. “thank you.” settling onto the seat, she quickly undoing her moon boots in favor of the ski boots that minkyu helps her into. a hand reaches out gently to hold his shoulder to still her movements as she digs her feet, one after the other, into each boot; making sure they’re properly in and not loose. leaning close to inspect her shoes, she turns her chin to look at minkyu, the hand at his shoulder squeezes it lightly, in kind, as her smile is practically beaming. “they fit perfectly, shall i help you with yours?”

From the very beginning of their fake dating experience, one thing Minkyu has been consistently grateful for how effortlessly Lili aligns with his vision of what to portray: the perfect blend of sweet, romantic gestures designed to set hearts fluttering, both among the fans and the ever-adoring staff.

“Well, well,” he muses, a playful lilt in his voice as he sweeps a hand through the crisp winter air, guiding her past the entrance gate toward the ski rental. “You and I, my dearest Lili, are about to embark on our very own ski adventure, from way up there,” he points toward the towering peak of the slope, “all the way back down here.” The distant echoes of laughter and excited chatter from other skiers weave into the moment, painting a picture of a perfect winter wonderland.

He exhales, a chuckle escaping as he admits, “I have to be honest... coming from Busan, where the sun is king, I’ve never actually been skiing before.” His confession is lighthearted, almost sheepish, as they step into the rental shop, where an employee has conveniently already prepared skis in their sizes.

But rather than simply handing Lili her pair, Minkyu’s expression softens. With an easy grace, he gestures for her to take a seat on the wooden bench before lowering himself onto one knee. His usual bravado gives way to something gentler; his voice quieter now, almost intimate.

“Let me help you put them on.” he says, fingertips brushing against the bindings with care. Because even if this is all for show, he’s determined to make it feel real.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

they say that for every cherry blossom petal that you catch in your hand, you get a wish. were you able to make any wishes? i know what i would wish for 💝

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

request for you to not be a bitch

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