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“you don’t seem like you have adhd” well damn, should have brought my squirrel costume with me, what a shame

Parent: so what did you do in *class* today honey?

my ADHD ass:

So today, I broke my wrist. How? Well, I was playing Pokémon Go at Sugarhouse Park. After throwing a Pokéball at an elusive Wailmer, I heard a honk noise. So I looked behind me, and running full speed at me was a Canada goose. So naturally, because geese are terrifying, I started to run away. I didn’t get far, because I tripped on uneven ground and fell. In an effort to minimize facial injury, I put my arm out to catch myself. My wrist hit a curb and I heard a crack. At this point I’m thinking I should have stayed in bed. But it got worse. A second later, I heard another honk and the fucking goose BIT MY LEG. So I kicked it in the head, and it ran away. Now, I’m crying, my arm kills, and I’m pretty sure at least three people saw me fall while running away from a goose. So I hauled myself off the ground, looked at my arm, and called my mom, because what else do you do when you get attacked by a goose? She told me to go to the doctor. So I did. An hour later, I left the doctor’s office in a splint, with the news that I broke my wrist. While trying to escape a crazy goose. The only good thing is I caught the Wailmer. PSA: this photo was taken while parked at the doctor’s office. I’m pretty sure I didn’t kick the goose hard enough to really hurt it. I’d like to lodge a complaint to Canada about their geese. #pokemongo #pokemonstory #geeseareevil #iliterallybrokemywrist #fuckgeese #sendhelp #atleastmyhairlookedgood (at Sugar House Park)

so i have two little cousins one is 10 and the other is 7 and my aunt told them they could each say one cuss word and not get in trouble so the older one very politely says “damn” but the younger one stands up on the kitchen table, rips his shirt off and screams “FUUUUUUCCCKKKK” while dive bombing to the floor and my aunt just stood there and stared at him because she couldn’t get mad at him

Someone: you know things would be a lot easier for you if you would just stay organized and focus :/

Me: oh wow...its almost as though what I'm missing...is focus...as though something were out of order...disorded, if you will...and I was unable to be attentive...a lack of attention...a deficit, perhaps............fascinating....

Dats me