Fml Season Four Is Gonna Kill Me

SHERLOCK CHRISTMAS SPECIAL IS IN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES I AM NOT PREPARED

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

So today, I broke my wrist. How? Well, I was playing Pokémon Go at Sugarhouse Park. After throwing a Pokéball at an elusive Wailmer, I heard a honk noise. So I looked behind me, and running full speed at me was a Canada goose. So naturally, because geese are terrifying, I started to run away. I didn’t get far, because I tripped on uneven ground and fell. In an effort to minimize facial injury, I put my arm out to catch myself. My wrist hit a curb and I heard a crack. At this point I’m thinking I should have stayed in bed. But it got worse. A second later, I heard another honk and the fucking goose BIT MY LEG. So I kicked it in the head, and it ran away. Now, I’m crying, my arm kills, and I’m pretty sure at least three people saw me fall while running away from a goose. So I hauled myself off the ground, looked at my arm, and called my mom, because what else do you do when you get attacked by a goose? She told me to go to the doctor. So I did. An hour later, I left the doctor’s office in a splint, with the news that I broke my wrist. While trying to escape a crazy goose. The only good thing is I caught the Wailmer. PSA: this photo was taken while parked at the doctor’s office. I’m pretty sure I didn’t kick the goose hard enough to really hurt it. I’d like to lodge a complaint to Canada about their geese. #pokemongo #pokemonstory #geeseareevil #iliterallybrokemywrist #fuckgeese #sendhelp #atleastmyhairlookedgood (at Sugar House Park)

who is she

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

#protectmarvinatallcosts

Kristen Arnett

http://amazingphil.tumblr.com/post/106641224020

Hey guys! There’s a rumour going around today that Dan and I are being ‘targeted by hackers’ online and lots of our followers are being sent anon hate in their ask boxes - this is just a rumour someone started, nobody is attacking us in any way (don’t worry) but lots of people are saying they are...

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