My Problem Is That I Live Inside My Head Too Much. I Drag My Life Around Like A Raging Demigod Dragging

My problem is that I live inside my head too much. I drag my life around like a raging demigod dragging a corpse, only no one will come at my door in the dead of the night to ease my fire. I bear a kind of weariness and discontent no sleep can satisfy because the world I wake up to is painfully dull in comparison to the ones I created in my head. I let my thoughts drift to far-off places, to unfamiliar landscapes I'll probably never set foot on just to shun the tedious sameness of days. I escape because I can't bear the vague nausea of being paper skin and hollow bones. I turn in on myself  because people and their expectations bruise me. There is no method in this madness but I will lie straight through my teeth if someone ever asks.

I don't know how long my body will tolerate this somnambulist life I live. There are predators in every world, and sometimes they are made of whispers from the void. What if one day I wake up standing on the edge of  a precipice? I'm scared I'll choose to meet my demons below instead of walking back home. You think you know all about it because I always write about the disquiet in me but my words don't conjure it the way it really is. The suffocation, the paralysis of the soul, the horror of the depths— all are lost in translation. But as long as I never let the dust get to my teeth I can swim back up. I let it gather on my tongue instead, and I use it to taunt  the bony hands in the abyss reaching for my throat.

It's not fair to feel like fading while remaining perfectly solid in everyone's eyes, to be as lifeless as a statue in a dark room while the party goes on just outside the door. That's why in this life there will always be trains I will run after, misty woods I'll dream of running into, and birds I'll stare longingly at until the clouds consume them. I scream these all in papers with a maddening frustration until my temples ache. I hope you know I don't wish to play god, I just want to stop burning.

— artemis, "Sleepwalking"

More Posts from Lemonsunshower and Others

2 years ago

reblog this post to remind the person you reblogged it from that they're valued and loved and seen

2 years ago
I’m Just Gonna Leave This Here.

I’m just gonna leave this here.

2 years ago
This Poem Was Inspired By Two Suggestions People Sent Me, "bottled Up Emotions" And "process To Healing".
This Poem Was Inspired By Two Suggestions People Sent Me, "bottled Up Emotions" And "process To Healing".

This poem was inspired by two suggestions people sent me, "bottled up emotions" and "process to healing". I decided to write just one for both. I see it as a little story of redemption.

2 years ago

anyone else want to learn a sign language so you wouldn't need to talk when you don't want to talk?

2 years ago

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts


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2 years ago
Hydrangeas (*¯︶¯*)

hydrangeas (*¯︶¯*)

2 years ago

uk those books you read because they have a certain atmosphere.

Well, my favourite type of books have this one.

Usually something or someplace abandoned, decaying and the atmosphere indicates something is wrong, but you can't place it quite yet.

while reading through such stories, you feel a shiver run down your spine, not the ghost jumpscare kind. The sad, loneliness that haunts something or someone or someplace.

For some reason you picture the colour dark green, the rotten mossy kind, the damp forest floor kind or a blue, a blue so inky and dark, it almost feels like night, almost.

It's cold to the bone, it either rains too much or snows a lot. Secrets are unearthed or buried with it and you just can't wait for more.

2 years ago

Maybe if I lay in the grass long enough the dandelions will overtake me and I don't have to do human things anymore.

2 years ago

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

2 years ago

ty for the tag @darcymariaphoster love the antlers xd

anyway here's me-

Ty For The Tag @darcymariaphoster Love The Antlers Xd

new reblog game!!

so i’m kinda curious what my moots actually look like, so rb this, make a picrew of yourself, and tag your mutuals!

here’s mine :) (maker used: aloha sushicore)

New Reblog Game!!

np tags: @spidervee @iheardarumorthings @thewritingbabe @scandalous-chaos @ddejavvu @winterwisteria

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