Diary.

“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss live.”

— Leo Buscaglia

She's in the rain.

she's in the rain as

she promised him

to stay out of his heart

but in that day

she couldn't stop it

she only fell apart

is she a sinner as

it was heard?

no,she's just

out of her control

she's getting addicted to his art,he's just a mind-blow to her yellow heart. none of her words could be let out like a dangerous poison for her ears,she's the one with issues of fear,regretting the cases earlier that made her feel like her chest hurts and her mind gets loud because the world has this void,stuck on her,and her pulse stopped working because of the nothingness,it's like a rose with a broken neck..wasting it's death..

i've should known back then,i've shouldn't leave her like a relief,i've should take her back in my shell,where my space is free and could it be for her..because her space was touched,her body was damaged...and i could fix that,i'm such a shame. i've could take the hits in my brain,as long as she feels comfortable in my own world,she's not a relief..no. she deserved to see another kind of artistic mind. she's destructed. but open-minded. she's naive. but she's with a heart of glass. she has no money. but still,she has that surprisingly attractive side. she's called "paradise",but in her fears she's paralyzed. she creates like God,but she's not getting higher. she only knows trust on her mind and soul.

that's why he left her as a relief,concentrating on something better than her attractive universe,for him she's called a burden that burns the shadows away,that was kind of extra hit for her peaceful humanity.

she's taken for a disappointment,that's why only the truth is rejected by those who's hearts were the darkest,so as their embrace could be such pathetic way to grab or stab someone's weak place,grab their ATTENTION,grab their POWER,grab their ABILLITY,grab their HEART and stab it,like they stab their own life... (but she could be appreciated by me.) it's heavy. rain is heavy as the place in her heart,now,she's in the rain. and i'm still looking on her wet clothes,her ripped jeans and pale face,her destroyed from the rain make up,her wet hair,her lost smile that made me feel realize my mistakes,but humanity never lose. she never lost,he lost the chances to turn these incredible moments with her back again and again. that's the reason,she's in the rain..powerful aura such as hers,she trapped me inside with her kiss,grabbed my attention till the end of it,i'm loosing myself over her nature.

her smile appeared,

the sun came,

and rain stopped,

she went somewhere

so far,so far away

i knew she ran to

hug the sun..

every time i make this world a little more bearable for those i love, my heart grows. every time they smile because of me,

laugh at me or with me,

tell me about their day,

cry to me about their deepest sorrows,

or tell me they love me, i remember.

to offer comfort, my heart beats on.

no matter what untold horrors the world and my own mind conspire to test me with next, that will not change.

this will not change my heart. (x)

My fears start to chase me when the lights are off. They would never let me stay in my comfort zone,they want to eat me alive and show my weakness,reveal me again and again. The darkness came to embrace my body as the whole world is crashing-splitting in two parts of reality and dreamland. Which world is the one that my heart desires the most? They turnd me as their anchor,i could run,but not reach them either. All alone in mixed space of pain and role play modes,my faces are always changing,i don't know who i should be,or maybe both. If I could find a way to draw my escape in my own chaos,i would believe that my exit is real. To find another piece of me,that's all i want. I want to heal.

-t.f.s.

— "A Kiss on the Forehead", Marina Tsvetaeva   

[ text ID: A kiss on the forehead — erases misery. / I kiss your forehead. / A kiss on the eyes — lifts sleeplessness. / I kiss your eyes. / A kiss on the lips — is a drink of water. / I kiss your lips. / A kiss on the forehead — erases memory. 1917 ]

are user boxes still a thing? no idea. but i made user boxes as my contribution to the community. they're matchy, too!! you're free to use them- just say Aterios made it.

i'm open to making these under request, just send me an ask with the deity you'd like a box for!! please be nice, too.

gods in this post: Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Hestia, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Athena, Hermes & Dionysus.

Part of me dreams to live on the moon, to see a sunset from another world entirely. I’d imagine the most quiet silence possible, if the makes sense. I’d imagine it would be so calming, but maybe lonely.

Part of me dreams to live on the moon, but I would miss the moonlight.

To Be Loved.

Oh, to be loved is not to sit and talk,

It's not drinking each other's blood,

It is a pure magic- to help and learn,

growing does matter, It's how we born,

this is a way of healing of broken hearts,

that's the true feeling when I see your eyes,

when they sparkle like I've never seen before,

and the pain releases, we prepare for inside-war.

Oh, to be loved is to see through darkness,

Through your path showing the unknown,

It is how to set it free, and we'll no longer

be incapable, separated and not enough.

To be loved is to be "you and me",

to feel it as long as you breathe,

as long as you stay to live.

Her gaze exposed the missing piece of a courage. She was the mind killer.