Toes, At Only 14 Ran Away From Home After Hearing His Parents Speaking Of Abandoning Him In The Woods

‪Podcast idea: a D&D campaign with same characters, same story, same everything, but different comedians picking it up each week and trying to deal with what the players of the past week put their characters through

I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

I dont wanna get a job or have real life responsibilities I wanna be an overpowered gay x-men character

Alternative explanations for why your fantasy setting has powerful magic items just lying around where any random schmuck can pick them up:

Up until a couple hundred years ago, the world’s magical background radiation level was much lower than it is today. Most of magic items were once minor lucky charms and simple household conveniences; being designed to function in what’s now considered a low-magic environment, their effects have not only increased considerably in power, but have also become warped in unexpected and frequently ironic ways.

It’s impossible to create a magic item on purpose. Random objects just become magical, and nobody really knows why. Living things are never affected, and the phenomenon seems to favour manufactured objects over natural ones, though it’s unknown whether this is a real trend, or a reflection of the fact that people rarely “use” natural objects in ways that are likely to trigger any powers they might possess.

Magic items are actually the larval form of monsters. They spend the first part of their life cycle sessile, feeding off of the heroic destinies of the adventurers who carry them. When those adventurers eventually TPK, it triggers the next stage of the items’ development; shortly thereafter, the items “hatch” into a new colony of monsters and spawn the next generation of magic items, continuing the cycle.

There exists a possible future where the forces of Order and Chaos fuck up so badly that the world is torn apart and smeared across its own past. The wreckage of that future are/have been/will be raining down over the entire span of history leading up to it. Being indestructible, magic items comprise the bulk of the debris, but sometimes creatures, buildings or chunks of terrain make it through, which is where dungeons come from.

The world’s supply of magic items is actually very limited, but is constantly being manipulated by the gods to place them in the paths of people who will make best use of them – where “best use” is defined roughly as “hey, you know what would be hilarious?”. The random magic item tables the GM rolls on aren’t a game-mechanical conceit, but a completely literal modelling of the gods’ decision-making process.

There are no such thing as magic items. Sometimes ordinary objects just do things when adventurers pick them up. Almost no-one knows this.

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

Hades v1.0 Launch Trailer (animation by @studiograckle)

me: dress how you want!! gender is fake!!! nothing matters!!!!!!

trans person: i like gender tho

me: hell yeah i respect that!!!! i apologize and don’t mean to dismiss your identity with my optimistic nihilism!!!!!!!

I love literally everything about @toastyhat’s church animatic world and characters and story and then I saw the dragon concepts and I just thought to myself how beautiful and friend shaped they were and then whoops here’s an unnamed intseh oc and a dragon (don’t know how big they can get so this is a headcannon!)

they share a bond somehow,, working on the details but ty toasty for giving me life with your dragons

Spent the morning listening to MCDM’s campaign premiere! It was really intense!!!!

My thanks to Anna for gifting us with this Sassy Evil Boi. 10/10, would praise Asmodeus under his intimidating gaze.

Caitlin Soliman  -  http://salamispots.tumblr.com  -  https://www.instagram.com/salamispots  -  https://salamispots.deviantart.com  -  https://gumroad.com/salamispots  -  https://society6.com/caitsol  -  https://www.redbubble.com/es/people/salami-spots  -  https://www.linkedin.com/in/caitlin-soliman-03597071  -  https://www.facebook.com/salamispots  -  https://twitter.com/salamispots  -  https://www.pinterest.es/salamispots  -  https://www.facebook.com/caitlin.soliman