Dwarf: What The Heck Is Lightning?

Dwarf: what the heck is lightning?

Elf: enormous bolts of electricity from the sky that sometimes kill people or set forests on fire

Dwarf: ....

Elf: after they happen the sky roars at you

Dwarf: you're not selling me on this whole "living above ground" thing

Elf: ooh, let me tell you about tornadoes

More Posts from Kyodd-the-bard and Others

1 year ago
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.
Some Of The Beautiful Illustrations By S.D. Schindler From Brother Hugo And The Bear By Katy Beebe.

Some of the beautiful illustrations by S.D. Schindler from Brother Hugo and the Bear by Katy Beebe.

The book is based on two real medieval figures: Hugo, a scribe who added a self-portrait (pictured above) to the end of his copy of Jerome's Commentaries on Isaiah, and a bear who appears in a letter from the abbot of Cluny Abbey to a neighboring abbot asking to borrow a copy of The Letters of St. Augustine, "for a large part of ours has been accidentally eaten by a bear."

1 year ago
ID: a thread of two tweets by Suzannah Rowntree 🌻 @/suzannahtweets

“Medieval gender inequality in the movies: you are forbidden from training with weapons or stepping into the library

Medieval gender inequality in real life: Salic law forbids you inheriting land. Instead you send your husband to the Holy Land and terrorise his vassals while he's gone

After your death, your pet archbishop writes your biography in which he calls you great ruler, "singularly free of female levity". He agitates to have you canonized.”

End ID.

Best thanks to @holyfunnyhistoryherring for providing the ID <3

all RIGHT:

Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT

(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)

This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.

If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.

By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).

Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)

So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies

FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.

What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.

Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.

Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.

So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.

SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life

When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.

For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.

So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.

Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.

I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!

6 years ago

Can you help me find some fics where Peter gets tortured and Tony comes and saves him?

Here are some fics that look to have Peter being tortured and then rescued by Tony. (Please note that these can be very heavy fics and read all tags before proceeding)

Five Times Peter Said “Sorry” to Tony Stark by AgentNerd …and the one time he didn’t have to. 

Accepting the Tides by Emma_Anacortes Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May’s death. It was normal that he’d grown to care a little about him, right? Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid. So naturally, he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter’s life. Naturally, he’d feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter? All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony’s gonna give him hell.

standing in the gallows by parkrstark An enemy from Tony’s past comes back to get him. But he does something more painful than hurting him. He takes the most important person to Tony. Tony just doesn’t know it yet. (Or the one where Peter is kidnapped and tortured and Tony realizes just how much this kid means to him.)

To Kill a Songbird by TheQueenOfWhump (wip) Peter Parker died six months ago in a fire after a horrible chemical accident….or did he? At least, that’s what Tony believes when an unemployed Ross illegally imprisons the Avengers on the Raft, which was supposed to have been destroyed.

Hindsight by elephreak The one where Peter is being abused in the worst way.

It Wasn’t You by losingmymindtonight They grab Peter right out from under Tony’s nose.

Revenge is a dish best served cold and afraid by wolfypuppypiles Peter was walking home when the news broke out, and his phone had died half-way through fifth period so, he couldn’t pick up when Tony tried to call. He had no idea what was coming for him, and no clue as to what was playing on every news announcement on tv. Toomes had broken out of prison.

take me back by jaybaybay (wip)  Peter and Shuri are kidnapped by a gang of bandits who demand ransom money for the princess of Wakanda. They’ll soon find out that they have more then one prize in their grasp. 

Heed my senses, I can’t do it alone by DoctorsBadWolf Peter thought things were going his way, he really did. His relationship with Tony was going great, his grades were steady, May was supporting his heroic debuts and his friendship with Ned had never been stronger. But when the man lurking in the shadows, whose all-consuming addiction to the senses affiliated with the red and blue vigilante kidnaps him, things quickly go south. In the meantime, Tony’s fearful he’ll never find the boy he’s come to see as his son. Will Peter ever be alright? Tony’s not sure, but he’ll do everything and anything to ensure that boy’s well-being. He just hopes the world isn’t too much. It’s Tony against the world, and for Peter, he’d win every time. 

The World Is Wide (But I Feel So Small) by Buckets_Of_Stars When Peter is abruptly taken from Tony by a mysterious criminal, the teen has to fight tooth and nail to make it out of the man’s clutches, testing him every step of the way as he tries desperately to get back to his Dad. Tony just wants to find his child and make the bastard responsible pay for his actions. By any means necessary. 

I’m not gone yet by DoctorsBadWolf When the media finds out that Peter Parker is the closest thing to Tony Stark’s son. Hyrda takes it as an opportunity to make him do his bidding, but they weren’t expecting the old team to get back together to save the boy. 

To Hope Is To Expect by madasthesea “I dreamed about how you would come rescue me,” Peter confesses, voice hoarse.Tony doesn’t want to hear this. He doesn’t want to know how he’d failed this kid even worse than he thought.

6 years ago

plance x kallura week prompts

image

Prompts for Plance x Kallura Week 2018 (11/01/18 - 11/07/18)

Since so many great suggestions were given, each day will have two prompts to choose from (or you can combine the prompts if you’re able to to)!

Day 1 (November 1st): Secrets // Surprises

Day 2 (November 2nd): Youth // Parenthood

Day 3 (November 3rd): Sunset // Moonlight

Day 4 (November 4th): Body Swap // Role Swap

Day 5 (November 5th): Cooperation // Competition

Day 6 (November 6th): Garden // Desert

Day 7 (November 7th): Sleepover // Double Date

REMINDER: This week is for both couples so make sure your works reflect them as equally as possible. For instance if you’re writing a fic we don’t want to see Kallura ft. Plance or Plance with background Kallura. Give both of them lots of love!

ALSO: If you don’t think you’re good with fics or art (or simply don’t have the time) but want to contribute we will absolutely accept your headcanons, metas, playlists or anything else as they relate to the prompts!

BE SURE TO TAG YOUR POSTS #plancekalluraweek2018

1 year ago

reasons i would make a great medieval monk:

• aroace - no problem with a vow of celibacy and the idea of not being able to marry isn’t a concern for me personally

• autistic - a segmented day? separated by hour? with specific things to do in those times? excellent!

• big lover of bread and cheese

• do love a little sing-song and chanting in a rhythm soothes me

• love scribing shit

• love doing those silly ass looking flouncy letters

• one of my special interests is medieval religion. so. bonus.

• oh i need to be silent for bit? i already go non-verbal sometimes babygirl that's not a problem

• monk robes provide 0% body shape. it’s all rectangle. excellent.

6 years ago

@camp-hufflepuff-313   March 13th! My sib from another crib! 

Comment your Birthday and see if you can find your Twin! 🦄

February 21st

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kyodd-the-bard - Why are you here?
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