Hi I’m Mad Again. 

Hi! What would a traditional bride from Śląsk wear on her wedding day?

Hello! Answering your question might be a bit complicated, because Śląsk is quite a large area divided into two main subregions [Górny Śląsk - Upper Silesia and Dolny Śląsk - Lower Silesia], each having several types of costumes. However, there are some common elements that I might show you below.

Most of Silesian brides would wear: a jacket/blouse called jakla [often in black colour seen as the most elegant/dignifying - but it was changing with time and fashion trends], a skirt painted or embroidered with floral motifs [common in most of Silesian festive clothing] and a so-called “turkish shawl” [chusta turecka with decorative patterns and fringe] worn over the shoulders. One of characteristic elements is also a wreath/crown made usually from green myrtle - and the flower crowns were reserved for the bridesmaids during the wedding that [in general, flower wreaths would be worn only by unmarried women].

Here’s example from Bytom - clothing called strój rozbarski after Rozbark that is nowadays district of the Bytom city [source]:

Another shot of the Bytom wedding costume [source]:

Here you have a presentation of wedding clothing from Mysłowice city [source]:

Couple from modern-day Katowice, beginning of 20th century [source]:

Two examples from Siemianowice Śląskie, 1930s and beginning of 20th century [source]:

Two photographs from the beginning of 20th century showing couples from Racibórz on their wedding day [sources: 1,2]:

Another example from Racibórz, second picture shows the act of changing the wreath to a married woman’s head covering [source]:

And the same custom of changing the wreath to a headwear on the example of Bytom costume [source]:

In general, the myrtle wreaths were so important, that most of the brides would later keep them in a flat showcase on the wall as a memorial of the wedding [image below is a printscreen from the Silesian Museum’s virtual tour]:

The black jakla jacket might look a bit boring at the first sight [as I’ve heard before] - but it’s only an effect on badly balanced photographs… just look at these details [source]:

This is just a quick reply that focuses on the Upper Silesia region, but I hope it gives you a good picture.

[note to self: I should post more examples from Silesia]

The day I died but Somehow Stayed

23th of February was so normal it hurts. It was the 23th day since my 26th birthday and 24th day since I’d finally started treating my MDD.

I don’t remember what it was that I ate. I don’t remember what song on Spotify was the soundtrack of that day. I have physical memory though - my whole body feels sore and hard to move because of the hiit exercises I started doing. It was painful to breathe, let alone walk or sit or even laugh. 

I have a mental memory - I was scrolling through concerts’ ads hoping to see some rad bands performing in Kyiv in late April. My sister will have turned sweet 16 on the 28th, so I wanted to make that day a memory she could go back to every time she feels upset or broken or unable to keep pace. Be careful what you wish for, they say. Now I wish I did. As my little angel will never forget her sour 16 she met under russian occupation in Mariupol, dreaming not of Black Pink or Maneskin singing to her in the flesh, but of taking hot shower after 2 months of living in the basement of the Culture Palace she once used to go to dance classes. Once. How unfair this “once” was just 90 days ago. An eternity. 

I have a memory that makes me angry and sick - an echo of a conversation me and my partner had that day. With my taking antidepressants I was also trying to finally try living again, first time after 6 years of isolation and self-destruction. We were planning to go to the Philharmonia and I was thrilled - it felt like I was going to meet the Queen, no less. Social anxiety will do it with you, beware.

I remember myself whining about the new Batman movie and how we’d rather go to the cinema if only there was any decent title. You see, I love Batman. The me from the 23th did, at least. The me who was complaining about going out to listen to some music live. 

And that’s where I feel like throwing up. That’s where I get angry with my past-self.

How easy life was for her. How she took for granted the possibility to wake up to cars honking and birds tweeting outside along with a bunch of I-don’t-know-who-but-they-are-hilarious users on Twitter doing the same.

I want to scream at myself, say “why am I suffering now so much, why do I cry every night and beg the gods to take me in my sleep and not with a GRAD fragment splitting my throat open or cutting off my limbs or burning me alive in my own bed, why my concern is not that about how to find the money to finally get my mom to Prague on her birthday - cause she always wanted to visit Europe - but how to find a way to fucking just hear her voice and know she is still alive there, in Mariupol, for now she is still breathing, why am I supposed to live through this hell same way dozens of my Ukrainian ancestors did just because there’s a MONSTER neighboring my country, why am I to be exterminated just because I’m Ukrainian wanting to live in MY country and speak MY language, why the people I used to call relatives and friends who live in russia are telling me I just have to “bear with it” and “get denazificated” and “be corrected and thus saved”, why they deny every missile that hits my street or say I deserved it because I live in Ukraine, WHY?”

WHY DO I STILL REMEMBER HOW IT FEELS LIVING IN THE EVENING OF THE 23TH OF FEBRUARY?

I went to sleep at about 3 am. My body was sore and I was annoyed thinking that tomorrow I had a training scheduled. It’s a YouTube hiit marathon so I’d better not skip it.

It was about 4 am I fell asleep at last thinking about the fanfic I was writing to unwind. My personal lullaby. 

And it was 5 something when my partner startled me into the reality. Fully dressed, in his Bershka parka and winter Martins. It was dark in the room and I couldn’t make out the features of his face, all covered in shadows. He was silent, probably waiting for me to fully wake up. But it suddenly felt like I’d never closed my eyes at all. The alertness was overwhelming. 

When he opened his mouth to explain himself, I already knew what happened. That moment is still the one I’m trapped in. The one I died at and got myself buried in bomb shelter with kids crying and the old praying all around while the constant bombing laughs at them, knocking at our doors to let the “russian world” they brought us in. 

My love opened his mouth and I think I will never be able to escape the word he whispered.

It wasn’t “war”.

It was “russia”.

Synonyms.

pic: our basement hideout at the first day of the War. People are settling in. Very cold and dusty and overall terrible. Still better to die under shelling. 

If "It's Hell", then...

you shouldn't hate villains/abusers, they're literal demons who act like they're supposed to;

you shouldn't care if characters are abused, Hell is a place of suffering;

Lucifer, Asmodeus and Beelzebub shouldn't be good;

Mammon shouldn't be the most despised Sin in the fandom;

Satan shouldn't have anger manager;

ancient immortal beings should act accordingly, not like children;

there should be no rehabilitation centers, hospitals, etc.;

there should be no economy and laws;

anarchy reigns supreme here, chaos' everywhere!

love is unacceptable;

affection and empathy aren't normal, no one cares about each other's feelings;

there is no such a thing as marriage;

there shouldn't be so many healthy relationships (M&M, Fizzarozzie, Beetex, Chaggie + Millie's parents probably and maybe Lucilith at some point);

there shouldn't be so many naive/polite people (Fizz, Moxxie, Octavia, Charlie, Sir Pentious, etc.);

no one would applaud M&M at the end of their lovey-dovey song at Ozzie's;

none of Blitzø's exes should be mad that he didn't fall in love with any of them;

Paimon wouldn't try to cheer baby Stolass up by going to the circus with him and prove that he's good at 'daddying' (why would he even need this anyway?);

where are n@zis, terror!sts, pedoph!les, necroph!les and some other freaks? or are shitty dads/bosses/wives meant to be the limit of evil for you?

why do sinners have a chance to gain strength and power if this place exists as a punishment for their sins?

why do demons need to eat and sleep?

Probably the list will be updated over time...

when no one has written the exact fic to scratch a very specific emotional itch and you absolutely do not have time to write it yourself but you still want to read it dammit

Natsuo Todoroki hasn't changed

Since he was introduced, I have always considered Natsuo troublesome for his family. He doesn't respect Rei and Fuyumi's choices to forgive Enji. He spreads the false rumours that Toya said to him as a kid. Despite Enji already atoning, Natsuo gets aggressive with him, stressing out the whole family and preventing them from healing.

As the manga reached its finale, I hoped that Natsuo would realise he was going down a dangerous path and apologise for his mistakes. However, this turned out not to be the case. Natsuo hasn't changed and is set to turn out like his father, if not worse.

When it comes to stopping Toya, the Todoroki family is inconsistent with their choices. At first, the family's civilians remained safe, and the heroes were allowed to do their jobs. Otherwise, they could get into legal trouble for vigilantism. It doesn't matter how personal the stakes are. Additionally, Shoto could focus on his fight with Dabi and not worry about his loved ones.

Natsuo fulfils his promise at first, remaining in the shelter and keeping his sister safe.

It was reckless enough when Rei got involved in Toya's fight. Then, Natsuo and Fuyumi had to disobey their mother. Three civilians had stuck their noses in hero work. Luckily, it all ended well in the end.

Who knows, this plan change could be better in the long term. They are in the middle of a war, and sometimes, you can't wait for legal permission. The ice users have no hero training but could negotiate as the criminal's family. Natsuo claims he is the closest to Toya, so he must step up the most here.

For a brief moment, Natsuo seems he is on the right track. He remembers the night when Toya called the women "useless", and he refused to refute it. He enabled Toya for too long and now Natsuo must take responsibility.

Instead, he unhelpfully insults Toya. Where is Natsuo admitting his own guilt? Where is his meaningful speech? He hardly tries for the brother he claimed to be close to and enabled.

This is why non-professionals getting involved was a bad idea. He could have angered Toya further and made everything more dangerous.

After this brief line to Toya, Natsuo gives up on negotiating. Instead, he focuses on using his untrained quirk and trying to overpower Toya. This could have been disastrous.

When Shoto finally defeats Toya, Natsuo makes his loyalties known. He doesn't rush to check on Toya, who is likely dead. Instead, he keeps his distance. Natsuo is simply flunking his duties.

Natsuo doesn't even acknowledge or thank Shoto for saving everyone. It is Fuyumi who speaks up.

Despite having his thoughts, Natsuo doesn't say any of them aloud. He completely ignores his villainous brother dying on the ground and the complicated history that led to this point.

Enji's apologies revealed the bitter truth about Natsuo. He had it the easiest out of the entire Todoroki family. Enji and Shoto have put their lives countless times on the line to save them. Rei has spent ten years in a mental hospital. Fuyumi had to do the housework and keep the family together from a young age.

Meanwhile, Natsuo can fulfil his dreams at college, get a girlfriend and barely phone home. It is time for him to do his fair share and do some emotional labour. He can ease the load of his loved ones. However, he selfishly makes them do all the heavy lifting.

Even after his 16-year-old brother faints, Natsuo doesn't move to check on him. Toya is one thing, but Shoto is the most innocent one of all.

After the war, the Todoroki family visit Toya in the hospital. Despite his brother dying and everyone being scarred, Natsuo just coldly stares. Rei and Fuyumi pipe up, but the thirdborn thinks he can ignore the past.

Worst of all, Natsuo decides to make it all about him and suddenly announces he is disowning Enji. Is he going to abandon his mother to look after his wheelchair-bound father? Will he ignore all the effort that Enji has put into atoning?

A child unnecessarily disowning their parent will leave an emotional scar on their very soul.

Has Natsuo reflected on everyone's part in the family's dysfunctionality? Does he not understand how sociopathic Toya was as a child and responsible for his parents' poor mental health? He remembers that Toya called the women "useless", but he doesn't acknowledge all the other horrible things Toya did.

Will Natsuo be a hypocrite and not disown the relatives who sold off his mother?

Despite Natsuo's stinging words at Enji, he gives him emotional whiplash by praising him. Deep down, Natsuo knows Enji deserves better, and he wants a connection with his father. However, he is overtaken by childish stubbornness and pettyness. Natsuo is the only person preventing Fuyumi's dream of their family being complete and he is denying her that. He is holding everyone back. He is a coward and ungrateful.

I'm seriously convinced that Natsuo will continue the cycle of abuse. He is already making the same mistake of marrying at the young age of twenty.

I'm wondering what Natsuo's girlfriend feels about this. Why did she agree to never meet her father-in-law? Why did she agree to a non-ceremonial wedding? Did she agree that her future children would never know their grandfather? She looks like she has a shy personality, and I wonder if Natsuo likes to take advantage of that. Is he controlling towards her?

What will his attitude be towards his future children? What if they become curious about their family history? What if they have fire quirks? What if they look exactly like Enji?

I fear that Natsuo will become like Kotaro Shimura, Shigaraki's father. If this becomes the case, the ice user would be worse, Enji. Endeavour lost his father at a young age and didn't have a good example for his own parenting. Meanwhile, Natsuo has a long history to learn from. Multiple hands are reaching out to him, begging him to heal and learn a better path. Natsuo should know better, yet he is set to carry on the abusive cycle.

Natsuo already has a fierce temper and a habit of hitting things. How long before it turns from objects to real people?

Vincent & Theo Van Gogh 

Hannah Gadsby in Nanette (2018) // At Eternity’s Gate dir. Julian Schnabel (2018) // Loving Vincent dir. Dorota Kobiela & Hugh Welchman (2017) // Vincent Van Gogh in a letter to Theo Van Gogh (1880) // Almond Blossoms by Vincent Van Gogh (1890); painted as a gift for the birth of his brother Theo’s son named after him

shein has taken down the selling of the israeli flag, stopped its collaborations with the country's influences and also cancelled free delivery services to the country. do you know how fucking insidious you have to be for SHEIN to cut ties with you??? SHEIN???!!!

it makes me physically ill. a Palestinian on twitter's last post was about burying their six-year-old cousin without his head. a Palestinian boy on youtube dreamt of 100k subscribers on his gaming channel. and yesterday he reached 500k, but he has been killed in the bombing of the gaza strip. the class of 2023-24 in Palestine has ended early because there is no student left alive. literal children who were the teachers, artists, doctors, scientists, scholars, writers, engineers of tomorrow.

when is it enough? statistics released by Palestinian officials about the numbers of martyred isn't enough. photographs and videos of fathers scurrying to piece together their children by gathering their body parts isn't enough. presscons surrounded by dead bodies beside a bombed hospital isn't enough.

yet, somehow, the narrative they are pushing is conflict between two faiths. it is absolutely not. this is no religious conflict. this is colonization, occupation, genocide. it's systematic oppression of Palestine and its people.

the word peace has never angered me as much as it has now. and it should anger you too. there can be no peace under violent oppression. there can be no peace after 75 years of ethnic cleansing. there can be no peace in occupied Palestine.

peace is the product of white supremacy, they prod and kill anyone other than them but when retaliation occurs, it is suddenly rabid savages, unjust savages...

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”